View Full Version : Pet Hates........or FFS
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walpurgis
28-03-2018, 17:56
I have no issues with using ebay. Made another rather nice purchase today and expect to make a couple more this week and hopefully sell some bits.
This is what I do, go maybe 10% over what I would want to pay as a max bid, set it up in sniping software, then forget about it. The software bids 3 seconds before the listing ends.
I always forget to bid otherwise, so prefer to do this, even if it annoys people. So many use sniping software, if you can’t beat them join them.
Early bids draw too much attention to listings and inflate prices.
If everyone is putting a max sniping bid in as above then doesn't it mean that a whole bunch of bids is going in at the death, as it were. So wouldn't putting your max in a few hours earlier be just as effective - maybe even better.
I ask partly because I can't be bothered researching sniping and I'm not sure if I can get the software anyway for my iPad.
(Excuse my ignorance, I worked in IT for many years and am now busy putting as much distance between me and computers as possible!)
walpurgis
28-03-2018, 22:32
No. If you bid early you indicate that bids are in. The total bid so far may not be shown though.
I'm happy to do my own sniping with a last moment bid rather than use an automatic online one. There's no way of anticipating if auto snipers may be used, but I'd bet many items get sold without snipes. If you've decided on your max bid, it matters little, because if you are outbid, it sold for more than you were prepared to pay. There's the odd chance that somebody may bid or snipe the exact amount you have. Presumably in that case the first one wins.
If everyone is putting a max sniping bid in as above then doesn't it mean that a whole bunch of bids is going in at the death, as it were. So wouldn't putting your max in a few hours earlier be just as effective - maybe even better.
I ask partly because I can't be bothered researching sniping and I'm not sure if I can get the software anyway for my iPad.
(Excuse my ignorance, I worked in IT for many years and am now busy putting as much distance between me and computers as possible!)
Not everyone uses sniping software, and those that do may not have set their maximum bid high enough.
If you put your maximum bid a few hours earlier, later bidders can still outbid you because they can be told to re-bid by ebay all the while your maximum is the higher. Eventually their bid would, if they were determined, exceed you maximum and could become the winning bid.
I never used sniping software, prefer to pull the trigger myself :D
I think I only lost out once and that was because the bid against me was more than I would pay. If I'd lost more often I wouldn't have about 20 cd players in the house.
For me the bad side of eBay is around bidding wars, for the buyers, which bring in a lot of opportunistic sellers who expect a buy it now price that’s similar to the bidding war items’ selling prices.
walpurgis
29-03-2018, 08:34
I'm not certain I understand that. :scratch:
in bidding wars things often can sell for more than there real value. folk get carried away, while in cold light of a straight price, most would balk at such a price.
Beobloke
29-03-2018, 10:04
Early bids draw too much attention to listings and inflate prices.
On the other hand, I’ve been involved in more than a few auctions where the item has mysteriously disappeared following a lack of bids - the latest one was only a few days ago and the seller is ignoring my “where is it?” questions. I even had someone who ended the auction halfway through and disposed of the item because “no one wanted it”. I bloody did and was going to put in a late bid!
As a result, I often put in a bid of the starting price but no more right near the beginning, just to register interest in something, before putting my real bid in at the end.
walpurgis
29-03-2018, 10:12
I’ve been involved in more than a few auctions where the item has mysteriously disappeared
Yes. I've seen that a few times. Probably sold elsewhere, so pulled.
Crackles
29-03-2018, 10:52
in bidding wars things often can sell for more than there real value. folk get carried away, while in cold light of a straight price, most would balk at such a price.That is evident if you filter searches for completed items. The prices items sell for vary considerably, which I assume is because of the nature of bidding wars. That's why I never bid early, the human competitive streak can make people behave recklessly and bid far more than they really want to pay.
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walpurgis
29-03-2018, 10:57
Yes. Selling prices can vary substantially for similar items. The day, time of day and even time of year have an effect. The run up to Christmas and the new year and holiday periods influence things.
Not everyone uses sniping software, and those that do may not have set their maximum bid high enough.
If you put your maximum bid a few hours earlier, later bidders can still outbid you because they can be told to re-bid by ebay all the while your maximum is the higher. Eventually their bid would, if they were determined, exceed you maximum and could become the winning bid.
That's true Barry, but the point I was replying to suggested that snipers put in a max bid and leave it to come in at the last knockings which is different to your scenario ( I think). What I'm suggesting is these particular snipers don't necessarily have an advantage.
If someone is bidding 'normally' and see that they are outbid by someone's max, as in your post, then it's perfectly legit for them to up their bid and win, that's exactly what I'd do if I wanted the item.
Depends. A sniping tool goes in about 10 secs before end often
Minstrel SE
29-03-2018, 19:43
Yes - if I am really keen to win something, I will put in a bid at the last moment with what I think is a sufficently high maximum to do the trick. Exactly how much that is will depend on the most recent bidding history, and if the bidding has already exceeded what I could afford I don't bid at all. But in all cases, even with a 'trump all' bid the amount is always what I can afford. Sometimes I have won an item, but have had to pay more than I would have wished, but less than my affordable maximum.
On that occasion it was essential that I win it and the pressure was on. Some here are talking about 10% over the odds or sniping tools which wont work when an item is in big demand. With certain hifi equipment there will be someone who really wants to win it with an over the odds bid.
The risk I mentioned was naughty but I felt necessary. I felt the other bidder may have had the same trump all idea so I went in high. If someone else had bid say £300 we would have been faced with a winning bid of twice what we would have been comfortable paying. I would have risked non payment strike as a favour to my dad. It would have been humble apologies but I have made a mistake in bidding
If the item is less in demand you have a chance . You can never be certain with an ebay bid. Many times I wished the auction could have continued because there is no real way to judge how keen the other bidders are.
I don't see the problem with the snipers. They set up a snipe of £150 to fire ten seconds from the end. But then you bid £180 manually, 30 seconds before the end. No time for them to do a new snipe. You win for £151, £29 less than the max you were happy to pay.
If the snipe was set for £200, he gets it for £181 but that was more than you reckoned it was worth so it's good that you don't end up paying that.
Pigmy Pony
30-03-2018, 12:43
Oh dear,
I know I have a shit memory, but I've really excelled this time.
I've been after a pair of Celestion 3's or 5's for some time now. I only really want the tweeters, to put into a mint pair of 5's given to me last year by a kind soul on here.
I looked on ebay today, and saw a pair of 5's with a bid of £20, with £23 postage. I thought that was already as high as I would have been prepared to go, so I moved on.
I then saw a pair of 3's going for £15 plus £22 postage. I put a bid of £17 on it, then looked at "My ebay" to check it had worked (really clueless about this stuff). That was when I spotted that the £20 bid on the other speakers was actually me. I put that bid on last week.
Anyway, I've won the 3's, so now I'm praying that I get outbid on the others tomorrow.
This may be my last post as Mrs. P is going to flay me alive when she gets in from work. :(
Beobloke
30-03-2018, 13:14
Anyway, I've won the 3's, so now I'm praying that I get outbid on the others tomorrow.
This may be my last post as Mrs. P is going to flay me alive when she gets in from work. :(
Why not just go into eBay and cancel your bid??!
Pigmy Pony
30-03-2018, 13:17
Can you do that? I thought placing a bid committed you to buy.
It's Easter Bank Holiday so can someone please explain to me why I have just trawled through 80-odd channels and there is no Sinbad film on anywhere? I thought it was the law that Easter Bank Holiday they had to show a Sinbad film in the afternoon? Or an acceptable substitute such as Jason And The Argonauts or Clash Of The Titans (not the remake, the original with that bloke off of L.A Law).
I really don't know what this country is coming to. Hopefully after Brexit they will sort this out. It's just unacceptable.
Pigmy Pony
30-03-2018, 15:44
I think you've lost sight of the true spirit of Easter. It's all about making yourself sick on chocolate eggs, after rolling them down a hill (don't know if that last bit is just a Preston tradition).
Beobloke
30-03-2018, 16:42
Can you do that? I thought placing a bid committed you to buy.
Only once the auction has ended. Up to that point you can cancel your bid.
Minstrel SE
30-03-2018, 21:13
Ive got some Celestion 3s Mk 1 ok but not as good as Royd Conistons :)
You can cancel your bid by saying entered wrong amount or something. I think you have a certain time before the last day of auction to do it. It doesnt give you many check box options and they dont really like it....... wrong amount asks you to enter the right amount but I never did...I just cancelled and left it...its quite a common occurence
It will leave you with a bid cancelled marker but some large volume bidders have fifty cancelled bid markers and it doesnt seem to affect their account.
You will probably get outbid but you can contact the seller and say that you dont really need to win now and see if they will do a cancellation of sale if you do win. Thats probably the best option and it doesnt leave you with a bid marker
I havent cancelled a bid in years but its not the end of the world if you do. It might be best to ask the seller first that you dont need them now and see what they say
Crackles
30-03-2018, 22:55
I think you've lost sight of the true spirit of Easter. It's all about making yourself sick on chocolate eggs, after rolling them down a hill (don't know if that last bit is just a Preston tradition).What if they roll through some dogshit?
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walpurgis
30-03-2018, 22:57
What if they roll through some dogshit?
No extra charge?
They like it like that up Preston way, eeh bah gum.
'Theeve no dog shite on thee egg yet son, get back up top ot hill.'
Pigmy Pony
31-03-2018, 10:54
I ran through that line in my head, using my dad's voice and it fit perfectly :)
Things were easier in the good old days when you got white dog shit. You could just brush it off and carry on.
I'm talking about Avenham Park, so there's a good chance that some of the turds would be human-not much you can do about that :spew:
I ran through that line in my head, using my dad's voice and it fit perfectly :)
Things were easier in the good old days when you got white dog shit. You could just brush it off and carry on.
I'm talking about Avenham Park, so there's a good chance that some of the turds would be human-not much you can do about that :spew:
more dogs eating raw bones then...
I ran through that line in my head, using my dad's voice and it fit perfectly :)
:
I just have to think of my uncle Frank from Rainhill. He spent 40 years working nights in a glass factory but my god he was the funniest man alive. He could tell a funny story and remain completely deadpan throughout, and his accent and his expressions were priceless. He used to have us rolling about clutching our sides crying tears of laughter. Man, I miss him.
Pigmy Pony
31-03-2018, 12:08
Yes, my granddad was like that, he was also the king of toilet humour, and had some funny ways about him. Every morning my grandma had to hang all his clothes, including his belt, in front of the fire before he would put them on.
A couple of his stories:
"I went for a muck this morning and when I looked in the toilet, it was in the shape of a question mark. And it got me thinking..." as he stares wistfully into the distance.
"Me and your grandma have to put our teeth in separate glasses at night, or they fight, and the noise keeps us awake"
Every now and again, I'll remember something else about him, and it's a bit like finding a forgotten fiver in your coat pocket, only better :)
Yes, my granddad was like that, he was also the king of toilet humour...
Ah, sounds like a man after my own heart!:D
I've always had a penchant for scatological humour, in particular, so if there are jokes going about 'tangy' turtle-headed turds, fart gas, pish stains and skidders, I'm in there!:lol:
Marco [refuses to 'grow up'];)
Firebottle
31-03-2018, 15:55
We'd noticed :rolleyes:
:rfl:
Tee-hee.... Yes, I still titter at things like 'botty burps', pissy, cack-stained scanties, filthy 'follow-thrus', cheesy helmets and ball-bag sweat:D
So spank me, daddee! :spank::spank:
:lol::lol:
Marco.
Pigmy Pony
01-04-2018, 08:14
September 1978, 10cc "Dreadlock Holiday" and David Essex "Oh What A Circus" were riding the charts, and I was on a camping holiday in Keswick with three friends.
We started our first evening with a pint of "Jennings" beer which smelt like rotten eggs. But I powered through, as I was twenty and beer is beer.
Later that evening I met a very nice local girl, who laughed at my jokes ( a good sign, and quite rare) and had a really saucy laugh. But there were dark clouds on the horizon, which I would now call "Jennings revenge".
At the end of the evening I walked her home, but my guts were doing some serious rumbling by now. I tried to discretely let out a little "pip" to relieve the pressure and was rewarded by a warm feeling between my arse cheeks, and I knew that meant trouble.
When we got to her house, she invited me in, but I could feel the arse gravy marching south so I politely declined. She may have thought I was a real gentleman. More likely she thought my man-bits were a disappointing "no show". I just thought bloody Jennings, never again.
She didn't turn up the following evening. Shame, it could have been something really special, even after the muddy start.
Firebottle
01-04-2018, 10:08
..... even after the muddy start.
Oh my word, good decision I think :eyebrows:
However I have to say Jennings Sneck Lifter is a really great beer :cool:
Pigmy Pony
01-04-2018, 12:36
Mrs. Pony's son recently took on a pub near me (Euxton Mills, good food, bikers and dog walkers welcome), and when I was there yesterday I saw that he has that Sneck Lifter on draught. Never come across it before, but i'll give it a go next time I'm in. :cheers:
If a "bum volcano" results, I'll be blaming you Alan.
At the end of the evening I walked her home, but my guts were doing some serious rumbling by now. I tried to discretely let out a little "pip" to relieve the pressure and was rewarded by a warm feeling between my arse cheeks, and I knew that meant trouble.
When we got to her house, she invited me in, but I could feel the arse gravy marching south so I politely declined.
Haha - a classic 'follow thru', if ever there was one...:lol: Do you remember if the arse gravy was smooth or had 'bits in'?
Hey, if you'd strapped on a nappy, she might've been into the 'adult baby' thing!:D
Marco.
Pigmy Pony
02-04-2018, 19:30
Definitely with 'bits'. Not so much like gravy, more like a Chinese curry sauce, with currants.
And the young lady was a trainee nurse, so it would have been a busman's holiday for her.
When I got back to the tent, first thing I did was go for a shower. While I was gone, my tent-buddy was to pissed and lazy to leave the tent for a wiz, so he lifted the side of the tent to pee outside, forgetting that it had a sewn-in groundsheet...:(
Minstrel SE
02-04-2018, 19:44
FFS I wish to complain that the tone of this thread has been lowered to an unacceptable level. :)
I never found toilet humour or toilet stories to be funny. I just find it all a bit yukky and what goes on in a mans toilet stays there.
Its just a disgusting act and we are supposed to be disgusted by our waste material. Its very childish and I dont think it really translates well into jokes or funny stories
walpurgis
02-04-2018, 20:02
Shit is just shit. It doesn't bother me desperately. If you have babies and animals, you get used to dealing with it, as do nurses and carers and guys who clear blocked drains.
Ninanina
02-04-2018, 20:34
My niece is a nurse and has had plenty of 'clearing up' after patients but don't know if I could do it though :(
Pigmy Pony
02-04-2018, 20:34
Sorry Martin :sofa:
Beobloke
02-04-2018, 22:00
Mrs. Pony's son recently took on a pub near me (Euxton Mills, good food, bikers and dog walkers welcome), and when I was there yesterday I saw that he has that Sneck Lifter on draught. Never come across it before, but i'll give it a go next time I'm in. :cheers:
.
Sneck Lifter is marvellous stuff - guzzle with confidence!
I thought you'd be more into 'Shirt Lifter', darling?:eyebrows:
Marco.
Pigmy Pony
03-04-2018, 06:15
I thought you'd be more into 'Shirt Lifter', darling?:eyebrows:
Marco.
I tried it, but I found the taste to be a bit 'earthy'.
Yesh, and probably a bit thick and buttery, too...:D
Marco.
Pigmy Pony
03-04-2018, 18:54
Ive got some Celestion 3s Mk 1 ok but not as good as Royd Conistons :)
You can cancel your bid by saying entered wrong amount or something. I think you have a certain time before the last day of auction to do it. It doesnt give you many check box options and they dont really like it....... wrong amount asks you to enter the right amount but I never did...I just cancelled and left it...its quite a common occurence
It will leave you with a bid cancelled marker but some large volume bidders have fifty cancelled bid markers and it doesnt seem to affect their account.
You will probably get outbid but you can contact the seller and say that you dont really need to win now and see if they will do a cancellation of sale if you do win. Thats probably the best option and it doesnt leave you with a bid marker
I havent cancelled a bid in years but its not the end of the world if you do. It might be best to ask the seller first that you dont need them now and see what they say
Thanks for the advice Martin, and I'll bear that in mind if I ever find myself in a similar spot.
The speakers were actually Celestion 5's not 3's, and with my £20 bid, plus the seller being close enough for me to avoid the £23 postage, I left it running. I did end up being outbid (they went for £21) so it all worked out anyway.
After your post I researched the Royd Conistons. They do seem to be well regarded. But really I only wanted some tweeters to complete a mint pair of 5's I already own, to further my project, which is to build up a second system, which I have no room for anyway! Some of the things this hobby compels you to do defy logic.
I suppose that's part of the fun!
Pigmy Pony
03-04-2018, 19:18
Sorry everyone, I've just realised my previous post was too 'Hifi-ish' for this thread, so I'll try to bring it on track by saying that this Sunday, 3 months after my birthday I'll get my 'birthday surprise' from my daughters.
I've no idea what it's going to be, but I have been speculating, and what I've come up with is:
Bungee jump (God I hope not)
Parachute jump (might be ok with that one)
Fast car track day (yes please)
Zip wire in Snowdonia (that looks like fun, and I would have done that before now, but the thought of burning through £40+ in 90 seconds, is just plain wrong)
I'll put on here what it was on Saturday evening, even if Mrs. P has to bring my laptop to my hospital bed to do this. :)
Sounds a suspicious set of options - I would just have a check nobody's taken out a bit extra insurance on you Steve
Pigmy Pony
05-04-2018, 06:14
I hadn't thought of that - Mrs. P has recently taken out new policies (on both of us, but I suppose that's what you would do to allay suspicion). She has also been uncharacteristically interested in my record collection and its value. :eyebrows:
Maybe I should be buying takeaways, after but then there only ever seems to be Findus meals for one in the freezer these days...
Minstrel SE
05-04-2018, 22:14
Your wife holding your life insurance policy.... FFS...get a food taster in pronto :( :)
A new FFS is the pop ups detecting my ad blocker...How do they do that and is it right? I continue reading anyway if I can dump the pop up. Why cant I do it without them knowing
If I cant delete the pop up I delete the page....that is how much I value their article without adverts...dont think Ive ever really been that upset...Im more upset with being told Im naughty for having an ad blocker. Am I wrong there and am I really taking food from the mouths of their families...I do feel a tiny bit guilty but Im only coming to the page in a casual way...it may be the first of many entries on a topic.
The key point is that there is information I will pay for. Those pages are not offering me information I will pay for. I think they have a jumped up importance for believing anything of value is on offer
Incompetent public sector workers, devoid of any personality, who look like this (but in reality are twenty times more inept):
https://imagizer.imageshack.com/v2/xq90/923/yY12u0.jpg
Pigmy Pony
06-04-2018, 17:51
Wow! it's like looking in a mirror :)
Crackles
06-04-2018, 17:56
Incompetent public sector workers, devoid of any personality, who look like this (but in reality are twenty times more inept):
https://imagizer.imageshack.com/v2/xq90/923/yY12u0.jpgThe public sector is absolutely stuffed to the brim with people like that. Lazy, overpaid thickos who would be unemployable in the real world but have no self awareness about how useless they actually are.
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Pigmy Pony
06-04-2018, 19:42
I used to work for a printing company, and sometimes I had to deliver the newly printed stationery to LCC's County Offices.
When entering the reception, I would see four or five men sat at desks, not seeming to do anything. They would pretend they hadn't seen me for a minute or two, after which one of them would drag himself out of his chair and come over to see what fresh hell I'd brought him to ruin his already hectic work schedule.
They loved nothing better than to tell you that you'd brought it to the wrong department, so they could go back to sitting down.
I believe these people get a good pension too, and I doubt their employers would notice any change in productivity after they've retired.
From a mate who did some contracting at the DVLC: 'Two enormous office buildings chock full of people, all of them doing absolutely nothing.'
Shovel_Knight
06-04-2018, 21:45
I hate it that our management deems it absolutely necessary to maintain a "positive atmosphere" at all costs.
Recently we were supposed to have a series of phone calls with vendors who were not doing their job properly which led to all kinds of problems when integrating the results of their work into our project.
However, we were told that we should not say anything that could potentially upset them, and that if we wanted to discuss the problems, we had to praise the positive aspects of their work first.
I had to excuse myself from the meeting because there's only so much bullshit I can take.
walpurgis
06-04-2018, 21:52
From a mate who did some contracting at the DVLC: 'Two enormous office buildings chock full of people, all of them doing absolutely nothing.'
I've found DVLA helpful, efficient and friendly in my fairly regular dealings with them. And at least you can get through on the phone and talk to a human. Done it many times.
I've found DVLA helpful, efficient and friendly in my fairly regular dealings with them. And at least you can get through on the phone and talk to a human. Done it many times.
Only quoting verbatim from a primary source. ;)
You see a lot of bad stuff about Virgin customer services but I've had to contact them twice in the last year and they've been faultless both times. As far as the DVLC is concerned they are probably glad of the 'phone ringing as it breaks the monotony. I've done jobs like that.
The public sector is absolutely stuffed to the brim with people like that. Lazy, overpaid thickos who would be unemployable in the real world but have no self awareness about how useless they actually are.
Haha - that's also my experience: big fat inadequate wastes of space, both 'at work' [I use the term loosely] and outside of it, who are completely out of touch with the real world, as evidenced by the antics of some of them on forums;)
It's no wonder 'her indoors' usually wears the pants, so they're subservient fools at home, too!:D
Marco.
Only quoting verbatim from a primary source. ;)
You see a lot of bad stuff about Virgin customer services but I've had to contact them twice in the last year and they've been faultless both times. As far as the DVLC is concerned they are probably glad of the 'phone ringing as it breaks the monotony. I've done jobs like that.
Never had cause to ring the DVLA. but both times I've had to ring Virgin support I've got through to someone with an impenetrable accent whose advice, what I could understand of it anyway, was of the 'have you tried switching it off and on again?' variety. Both times I waited a day or so, rang back and managed to speak to someone with more of a clue.
Public sector workers:
Too many sad, inadequate, lazy little men, sitting in dreary little offices, in their cheap grey suits [soiled incontinence pants underneath] carrying out their dull dead-end jobs, to the minimum required standard, devoid of ambition, leading overall mundane, unfulfilled working existences, before leaving to 'live' their equally sad, dull little lives at home...
*But* of course they're not ALL like that, just some of them;)
Marco.
Crackles
07-04-2018, 13:51
Public sector workers:
Too many sad, inadequate, lazy little men, sitting in dreary little offices, in their cheap grey suits [soiled incontinence pants underneath] carrying out their dull dead-end jobs, to the minimum required standard, devoid of ambition, leading overall mundane, unfulfilled working existences, before leaving to 'live' their equally sad, dull little lives at home...
*But* of course they're not ALL like that, just some of them;)
Marco.And the women are as bad if not worse.
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walpurgis
07-04-2018, 13:59
And the women are as bad if not worse
There's nothing to choose between them in my experience. You get people who do a proper day's work and there are those who wander about with a coffee mug chatting or carrying a couple of bits of paper, so they look like they're doing something, usually junior supervisors and management assistants.
So what can be done to shove a rocket up the arses of these lazy, incompetent inadequates (of both sexes), so that they're FORCED to WORK for their wages?
Marco.
I worked in Local Government for 35 years and yes, there was a lot of 'dead wood' (most of it 'pruned' via the interminable restructures we were always subjected to & involved in) but it opened my eyes when we entered into a public sector partnership with an external company of Architects/Engineers/Surveyors, their lot were a bloody sight worse than us.
walpurgis
07-04-2018, 15:08
I worked in Local Government for 35 years and yes, there was a lot of 'dead wood' (most of it 'pruned' via the interminable restructures we were always subjected to & involved in) but it opened my eyes when we entered into a public sector partnership with an external company of Architects/Engineers/Surveyors, their lot were a bloody sight worse than us.
HaHa. Damn right! I went though exactly the same thing (more than once).
The civil engineering consultants who took over the local authority technical services where I was, were a shambles. Classic example of 'lowest tender'. They were also pretty top heavy, loads of managers and middle managers .......There may even have been a tea break manager! :eek:
Minstrel SE
07-04-2018, 19:55
Public sector workers:
Too many sad, inadequate, lazy little men, sitting in dreary little offices, in their cheap grey suits [soiled incontinence pants underneath] carrying out their dull dead-end jobs, to the minimum required standard, devoid of ambition, leading overall mundane, unfulfilled working existences, before leaving to 'live' their equally sad, dull little lives at home...
*But* of course they're not ALL like that, just some of them;)
Marco.
I think there is less of it now as they prune down with cutbacks. I agree though and it always shocked me how different the staff are compared with the qualities wanted in the job advert.
I looked round at a bunch of lazy people with real issues that didnt want you to upset the way things are. The worst ones are the people who enjoy playing the jobsworth, back stabbing game while doing damn all themselves. They seem to have a hotline to the top.
In many cases the management dont want the staff to be too keen or ambititious as they dont want to be shown up themselves. You get this lowest common denominator of staff that wont ask too many questions
The days of just getting though to retirement while keeping out of sight in an office are dying out. I agree with you that I see plenty of people and wonder how they ever got the job. Its is also an issue of inept management.
I looked round at a bunch of lazy people with real issues that didnt want you to upset the way things are. The worst ones are the people who enjoy playing the jobsworth, back stabbing game while doing damn all themselves. They seem to have a hotline to the top.
In many cases the management dont want the staff to be too keen or ambititious as they dont want to be shown up themselves. You get this lowest common denominator of staff that wont ask too many questions...
The days of just getting though to retirement while keeping out of sight in an office are dying out. I agree with you that I see plenty of people and wonder how they ever got the job. Its is also an issue of inept management.
Indeed, Martin, and it's the mentality you outline in both instances above that I find deeply repugnant - and the public sector is full of these 'nobody' wastes of space, who often resent the 'somebodys', who've actually managed to make a success of their lives, by properly utilizing their skill sets!
The bit in bold blue, however, is the worst, as I've been a victim of that when I worked in retail [too keen to do well, and be successful, thus exposing the ineptitude of the management], and it's fundamentally what holds this country back in many ways, compared with how things are in places such as France and Germany, where the attitude and work ethic I've found is very different!!
Some fat backsides here, in the public sector, definitely need a good booting....
Marco.
Indeed, Martin, and it's the mentality you outline in both instances above that I find deeply repugnant - and the public sector is full of these 'nobody' wastes of space, who often resent the 'somebodys', who've actually managed to make a success of their lives, by properly utilizing their skill sets!
The bit in bold blue, however, is the worst, as I've been a victim of that when I worked in retail [too keen to do well, and be successful, thus exposing the ineptitude of the management], and it's fundamentally what holds this country back in many ways, compared with how things are in countries such as France and Germany, where the attitude and work ethic I've found is very different!!
.
It isn't just the public sector, regrettably. Nor is it just a British phenomena if my experience of working for multi-nationals is anything to go by. The bigger the organization the more people there are who are getting away with doing jack shit, and the result is that all of the problems that creates get dumped on the minority who are capable and hard-working.
I agree it's not just a British phenomenon, but in my experience the prevailing lazy attitude, as discussed, is particularly bad in this country.
In other parts of Europe, folks tend to be more 'switched on', especially in the likes of Germany, where efficiency, IME, is at an altogether higher level, as indeed is the overall work ethic. You just wouldn't get away there with the 'hiding' that goes on here - ditto in the likes of Japan!
Anyway, the question is, what should be done about it, in terms of improving matters? :)
Marco.
One of the things I really detest about the packaging of CDs is the horrible brittle polycarbonate material used for the jewel cases. They seem to crack, split and splinter of their own accord. I am forever replacing them. :doh:
I agree it's not just a British phenomenon, but in my experience the prevailing lazy attitude, as discussed, is particularly bad in this country.
In other parts of Europe, folks tend to be more 'switched on', especially in the likes of Germany, where efficiency, IME, is at an altogether higher level, as indeed is the overall work ethic. You just wouldn't get away there with the 'hiding' that goes on here - ditto in the likes of Japan!
Anyway, the question is, what should be done about it, in terms of improving matters? :)
Marco.
We should model ourselves on the Italians, obvs.
Pigmy Pony
08-04-2018, 12:20
One of the things I really detest about the packaging of CDs is the horrible brittle polycarbonate material used for the jewel cases. They seem to crack, split and splinter of their own accord. I am forever replacing them. :doh:
The companies that manufacture these jewel cases should be thinking more responsibly, and not just as far as the 'point of sale'.
The cost of making these cases is probably one or two pence. They could significantly improve the quality (durability), and even if this doubled the cost it would still have no noticeable effect on the final cost of CD's.
And it's got to be better for the environment - crappy broken cases are good for nothing but the bin.
We should model ourselves on the Italians, obvs.
No, not at all (in that respect), which is why I didn't mention them!
Marco.
I prefer the cardboard versions, but if the plastic spider that holds the disc in place looses too many 'fingers', you're stuffed.
I also dislike the packaging that tries to mimic the sleeve of an LP; it's always difficult to remove the disc without touching the surface of the disc and thereby leaving a finger mark. Perhaps in order to make the CD look like a little record, the packaging manufacturers think the disc should be wiped as one would an LP?
Pigmy Pony
08-04-2018, 12:35
We should model ourselves on the Italians, obvs.
Spending all day up in the hills shooting rabbits, while the missus spends all day in the kitchen cooking, sound alright to me.
Think we are being hard on a group of well meaning people [emoji23]
Spending all day up in the hills shooting rabbits, while the missus spends all day in the kitchen cooking, sound alright to me.
You obviously know life in Tuscany well! ;)
Marco.
Think we are being hard on a group of well meaning people [emoji23]
It's not the well-meaning ones that are the problem.... Unless you're suggesting you can be lazy and incompetent, but well-meaning?;)
"Sorry, sir. I know I'm shit, but I mean well!":D
The hard working, reliable and ambitious public sector workers, which I'm sure exist, aren't the issue here. It's the ingrained culture of idleness and ineptitude among staff, in that particular industry (and others like it), that badly needs addressing!
Marco.
Crackles
08-04-2018, 14:30
It's not the well-meaning ones that are the problem.... Unless you're suggesting you can be lazy and incompetent, but well-meaning?;)
"Sorry, sir. I know I'm shit, but I mean well!":D
The hard working, reliable and ambitious public sector workers, which I'm sure exist, aren't the issue here. It's the ingrained culture of idleness and ineptitude among staff, in that particular industry (and others like it), that badly needs addressing!
Marco.I think it's just inherent in any organisation where there is no commercial pressure and no threat of the company going bump overnight. It attracts people who want long term job security, and the lack of staff turnover then leads to comfort zones and complacency. The pay can be better than the private sector if you stay there long enough and the terms and conditions wipe the floor with 95% of modern private sector jobs, especially at lower levels. It breeds staleness and naturally absorbs people who dislike change and lack ambition.
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Pigmy Pony
08-04-2018, 16:47
Perhaps these workers(?) just need to be given some tasks that will actually make a difference, to instil a sense of purpose.
I suggest that for one day each week, done on a rota using one fifth of the workforce each day, they are sent out to repair pot holes in the roads.
Oh wait, judging by the working methods of the road workers (one digging, three watching) they may already be doing this :D
walpurgis
08-04-2018, 16:49
Perhaps these workers(?) just need to be given some tasks that will actually make a difference, to instil a sense of purpose
You could train a few up to give 'motivation' lectures to the rest. Bet that'd go down a treat! :)
Perhaps these workers(?) just need to be given some tasks that will actually make a difference, to instil a sense of purpose.
I suggest that for one day each week, done on a rota using one fifth of the workforce each day, they are sent out to repair pot holes in the roads.
Oh wait, judging by the working methods of the road workers (one digging, three watching) they may already be doing this :D
You're out of date. New working practices now mean that by the time they have done a feasibility study and a risk assessment, had about fifteen meetings, done a final assessment and coned off the area and set up the temporary traffic lights and the big yellow sign saying 'Guess what? You are going to be late for work and late getting home too - starting June 1st for 14 weeks!', there's no money left to pay someone to actually dig anything.
walpurgis
08-04-2018, 16:57
Oh wait, judging by the working methods of the road workers (one digging, three watching) they may already be doing this :D
I did this for a living when it actually was hard graft.
These days, it's most unusual to see anybody actually using a shovel, let alone a wheelbarrow. Even the smallest holes and trenches are dug by mechanical means. Concrete or bitmac (tarmac to the uninitiated) is tipped onto the site and loaded into a mini-dumper using a mini-bucket then bunged in the hole and then it's compacted with a machine. Even the machinery has to be handled mechanically. Nobody doing anything resembling proper donkey work.
Pigmy Pony
08-04-2018, 17:09
Who said anything about paying them?
And as for the "decision makers" who stand between us and getting the job done, hit squads could be assembled to weed out these folk. The bodies can go into the holes dug by the road workers.
I realise there may be a few wrinkles in my plan which will need to be ironed out, but the basic idea I think is pretty sound.
Maybe this is how the revolution will begin.
Ah yes. The 'B Ark' solution. Only less humane. Quicker and cheaper though :)
Pigmy Pony
08-04-2018, 17:29
"B Ark"? Was that "hitch Hiker's Guide? Great stuff! :D
Shows that there's no such thing as a new idea.
Minstrel SE
08-04-2018, 18:25
One of the things I really detest about the packaging of CDs is the horrible brittle polycarbonate material used for the jewel cases. They seem to crack, split and splinter of their own accord. I am forever replacing them. :doh:
I havent damaged many over the years but I agree they could be better. I was annoyed to find they dont keep coffee out when it spills along the floor and hits a cd leaning up. Not that much liquid and it just tracks right inside to all the artwork.
The plastic spiders are sometimes broken but a visit to the charity shop when they are having a 10p/20p clearance sale gets enough replacement inners and outers
It is the cheaper clear versions of the cases with most problems as they have cut costs. The earlier cases are much better made
Fingerprints on the backs of the discs are also an issue and I do have pairs of cotton collectors gloves handy :)
You're out of date. New working practices now mean that by the time they have done a feasibility study and a risk assessment, had about fifteen meetings, done a final assessment and coned off the area and set up the temporary traffic lights and the big yellow sign saying 'Guess what? You are going to be late for work and late getting home too - starting June 1st for 14 weeks!', there's no money left to pay someone to actually dig anything.
:lolsign:
Marco.
Hi John,
I think it's just inherent in any organisation where there is no commercial pressure and no threat of the company going bump overnight. It attracts people who want long term job security, and the lack of staff turnover then leads to comfort zones and complacency. The pay can be better than the private sector if you stay there long enough and the terms and conditions wipe the floor with 95% of modern private sector jobs, especially at lower levels. It breeds staleness and naturally absorbs people who dislike change and lack ambition.
Spot on (especially the bits in bold). However, steps should be taken to ensure that staff are actually *earning* their wages, and in that respect their performance should be continually monitored, in order to maintain standards and eradicate any 'dead wood'. There should be NO long-term job security, within any business or company, unless you're hard working and GOOD at your job!!
I just struggle relating to the mentality you've outlined, as I've always been a highly-driven and ambitious individual, predisposed to doing my best within the role I'm employed to perform, and pushing myself to achieving high standards and attaining the personal goals I've set.
I guess that's why I was always ultimately destined to run my own business and make a success of it, and now at 52 (and indeed has been the case for the last 15 years), I'm semi-retired, mortgage and debt-free, and living a happy and comfortable life, whereas the folk you refer to are likely the opposite, and still stuck behind their desks in their dead-end jobs, wasting their life away....
No wonder they're all miserable bastards!
Marco.
Crackles
09-04-2018, 07:56
Hi John,
Spot on (especially the bits in bold). However, steps should be taken to ensure that staff are actually *earning* their wages, and in that respect their performance should be continually monitored, in order to maintain standards and eradicate any 'dead wood'.
I just struggle relating to the mentality you've outlined, as I've always been a highly-driven and ambitious individual, predisposed to doing my best and pushing myself to achieving high standards and attaining the personal goals I've set.
I guess that's why I was always ultimately destined to run my own business and make a success of it, and now at 52 (and indeed has been the case for the last 15 years), I'm semi-retired, mortgage and debt-free, and living a happy and comfortable life, whereas the folk you refer to are likely the opposite, and still stuck behind their desks in their dead-end jobs, wasting their life away....
No wonder they're all miserable bastards!
Marco.Totally agree. I started my working life at a company that was part of a government-owned, but soon to be privatised, industry. I absolutely hated it, but I didn't realise at the time that the reason I hated it was because I was so unfulfilled. There were no targets and we could all get away with doing very little.
I also work for myself now, and by far the the most enjoyable days I have at work are where I'm really busy and productive. It's the difference between tortuously waiting for the clock to hit 5pm and wishing the clock would slow down because you want to get something finished that day. Some of those public sector workers might enjoy a bit more pressure if they tried it.
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What I always say is, before you criticise someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile away and they won't be able to catch up with you because they won't have any shoes.
I havent damaged many over the years but I agree they could be better.
It's quite disconcerting to read Marco's rants about public sector workers, immediately followed by the above (which I guess could also apply to public sector workers).
I also work for myself now, and by far the the most enjoyable days I have at work are where I'm really busy and productive. It's the difference between tortuously waiting for the clock to hit 5pm and wishing the clock would slow down because you want to get something finished that day.
Yup - I know exactly what you mean; it centres around a pride in having achieved something useful. However, some folk just aren't 'wired up' that way, especially if they've been brought up in an under-achieving environment, by people content with mundane mediocrity, or less. Chances are, they'll never amount to anything worthwhile.
The other nice feelings, when you're self-employed, is knowing that the profit you make is your own (not that of the company you work for), and best of all for me, is being in full CONTROL of my day, so I can choose to work late or finish early, or even take a day off altogether!
Having no-one to answer to, in that respect, and thus the TIME and FREEDOM to do what you want, when you want, with no-one BOSSING or CONTROLLING you, at work (or at home, for that matter), is worth its weight in gold. In that respect, I'd never return to working for anyone else, not even if the promised salary was 100 times what I'm earning now!!
Some things in life are worth much more than money....
Marco.
Yup - I know exactly what you mean; it centres around a pride in having achieved something useful. However, some folk just aren't 'wired up' that way, especially if you've been brought up in an under-achieving environment, by people content with mundane mediocrity, or less. They're never amount to anything worthwhile.
The other nice feelings, when you're self-employed, is knowing that the profit you make is your own (not that of the company you work for), and best of all for me, is being in full CONTROL of my day, so I can choose to work late or finish early, or even take a day off altogether!
Having no-one to answer to, in that respect, and thus the TIME and FREEDOM to do what you want, when you want, with no-one BOSSING or CONTROLLING you, at work (or at home, for that matter), is worth its weight in gold. In that respect, I'd never return to working for anyone else, not even if the promised salary was 100 times what I'm earning now!!
Some things in life are worth much more than money....
Marco.
Here here! Life is too short to live a miserable life chasing money, it seems the more you make, the more you spend, and the less time you have to enjoy it. I learned the hard way that money is not everything.
And a funny thing about the sense of accomplishment. When I was a carpenter, I took great pride in my work! Doors and trim were my specialty and while I was paid very little, I had a great sense of accomplishment for a job well done. So, after a few years of college, and a new life in the office working on computers, I find there is no sense of accomplishment in computers. They either work or they don’t, mostly don’t! No matter how great the challenge, all you could hope to achieve is bringing it back to normal. While I made four times as much as I did as a carpenter, my standard of living was slightly up, and my levels of happiness were lower. But I am happily out of the rat race now and I must say I don’t miss it at all.
Russell
Russell, you and I, my friend, are firmly on the same page! ;)
The 'rat race' is ultimately for losers...
Marco.
Minstrel SE
10-04-2018, 19:22
I dont agree with everything there as these people are micro managed so they can tick 20 boxes but we dont feel we have had a good experience.
A lot of those jobs are so dead end and under the thumb it must be hard to get up in the morning. The micro management can take away any leeway these people have to put extra soul into it. I blame the managers and the system more often than the staff
I dont think there is long term security in most roles. My view is that died out with my dads generation. I saw men who are now in their 70s and 80s who had careers for life in banking or as a field engineers. It was always tough but there seems to be less perks like compamy cars now and more hassle to stay employed.
I feel that my age group and younger started to see a more ruthless form of management who were more than happy to show you the door. Its like the job market has been going to hell in a handcart because there are more people competing than ever. Maybe the truth is that boom times cant be sustained in any system. World wars can be considered as a pressure valve for failing economies but Im getting deep now
Yes its nice to work for yourself but does involve long hours and its own stress. Yes you dont have a boss but youve got to serve somebody and holidays are out of the question untill well established with perhaps some extra staff
walpurgis
10-04-2018, 19:28
World wars can be considered as a pressure valve for failing economies but Im getting deep now
I suspect we are not too far from something of the sort. But I think it may not come in any form most would anticipate.
I dont agree with everything there as these people are micro managed so they can tick 20 boxes but we dont feel we have had a good experience.
A lot of those jobs are so dead end and under the thumb it must be hard to get up in the morning. The micro management can take away any leeway these people have to put extra soul into it. I blame the managers and the system more often than the staff
I dont think there is long term security in most roles. My view is that died out with my dads generation. I saw men who are now in their 70s and 80s who had careers for life in banking or as a field engineers. It was always tough but there seems to be less perks like compamy cars now and more hassle to stay employed.
I feel that my age group and younger started to see a more ruthless form of management who were more than happy to show you the door. Its like the job market has been going to hell in a handcart because there are more people competing than ever. Maybe the truth is that we had centuries of misery then 20 years of boom times which cant be sustained in any system. World wars can be considered as a pressure valve for failing economies but Im getting deep now
Yes its nice to work for yourself but does involve long hours and its own stress. Yes you dont have a boss but youve got to serve somebody and long holidays are out of the question untill well established with perhaps some staff
What you say is very true. Here in the US, there are many who repeat what they’ve heard on tv, and thing we need open borders! Let anyone in who wants to come! And then do not realize the affect that has on their job market. They think these immigrants only want the jobs we don’t. But that’s just not true, those jobs were filled before? And it reverberates up the job ladder. Those who used to work fields must get better jobs, those people must get better jobs, and before you know it, your executive position is under stress from all the applicants. And the big companies love it! Yes, they can pay you whatever they like, take away your benefits, because if you don’t like it, there’s someone at the door who will. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not against immigration, but it needs to be controlled, just letting the entire 3rd world move in will only make us all poor. These people are much better served if we try to bring their counties up to modern standards, let them prosper at home! But of course, unless your country is oil rich, you won’t see western powers trying to help you along.
Russell
I. World wars can be considered as a pressure valve for failing economies but Im getting deep now
The theory that war is good for an economy is often repeated but is not really based in fact. Obviously some people make a profit, but overall, as someone (I forget who) once said, it is the same as taking the entire year's output of Ford and General Motors, smashing it up and burying it in a field. War bankrupts even the strongest economies.
Almost impossible to open (when you're all wet and slippery) shampoo and shower gel bottles.
Almost impossible to open (when you're all wet and slippery) shampoo and shower gel bottles.
Totally agree, I think I also mentioned these some time ago for being designed to topple over at the slightest touch (after which it was helpfully suggested that I shouldn't keep them on a shelf - so no need to repeat that particular advice)
Totally agree, I think I also mentioned these some time ago for being designed to topple over at the slightest touch (after which it was helpfully suggested that I shouldn't keep them on a shelf - so no need to repeat that particular advice)
Not long ago a large bottle of shampoo fell on my big toe while my eyes were shut in the shower, a most unpleasant surprise! And my toe was swollen and purple for a week!
Russell
Would never have happened to the Vikings...
TV ads are bad enough but when they're clearly foreign ads dubbed into english that's just taking the piss, they couldn't even be bothered to make a dedicated UK ad! :steam:
TV ads are bad enough but when they're clearly foreign ads dubbed into english that's just taking the piss, they couldn't even be bothered to make a dedicated UK ad! :steam:
They can be unintentionally funny, though. Who can forget 'The Ambassador's Reception?'
walpurgis
17-04-2018, 08:12
They can be unintentionally funny, though. Who can forget 'The Ambassador's Reception?'
I don't remember it, so I must have forgotten it.
Ditto! A linky to such, perhaps on YouTube, would be informative :)
Marco.
Minstrel SE
19-04-2018, 18:42
Yes Ferrero Rocher is the sweet I like to hate for the marketing but they are quite tasty actually
Yes Ferrero Rocher is the sweet I like to hate for the marketing but they are quite tasty actually
They were flogging the big trays cheap in the supermarket after Xmas a couple of years back, so I bought one and took it around the office. But I wouldn't let anyone have one unless they said the line first. Some of them did it, but most wouldn't and just took one anyway. Miserable bastards.
Not strictly speaking a foreign ad but pulled by the European sensors
https://youtu.be/Ow0a06gsiF4
Pigmy Pony
21-04-2018, 14:48
They were flogging the big trays cheap in the supermarket after Xmas a couple of years back, so I bought one and took it around the office. But I wouldn't let anyone have one unless they said the line first. Some of them did it, but most wouldn't and just took one anyway. Miserable bastards.
I can just imagine the office conversation:
'Oh no, the gaffer's coming 'round again, y'know, the one that's always banging on about his krells, whatever they are. Honestly, he cracks the whip all year, then can't take a bit of drunken abuse at the office xmas party, and now he wants us to say he's really spoiling us in exchange for a lump of chocolate. I say "shit on that, I'm gonna just take one anyway."
'You must have a death wish, haven't you heard what he did to the HR guy who gave him back chat? Still can't keep down solid food.'
I can just imagine the office conversation:
'Oh no, the gaffer's coming 'round again, y'know, the one that's always banging on about his krells, whatever they are. Honestly, he cracks the whip all year, then can't take a bit of drunken abuse at the office xmas party, and now he wants us to say he's really spoiling us in exchange for a lump of chocolate. I say "shit on that, I'm gonna just take one anyway."
'You must have a death wish, haven't you heard what he did to the HR guy who gave him back chat? Still can't keep down solid food.'
Christ I'm not the gaffer. I just make the tea and occasionally stuff some envelopes. Sometimes they send me to the foreman to ask for a long stand.
walpurgis
22-04-2018, 08:22
Sometimes they send me to the foreman to ask for a long stand.
That's odd. They used to send to to find a skirting ladder.
Pigmy Pony
22-04-2018, 11:19
When I worked for a printing company, newbies would be sent to get a tin of striped ink...
Pigmy Pony
22-04-2018, 14:29
There's no fool like an old fool.
While looking on ebay, the display was interrupted by an announcement by British Sky Broadcasting that as a valued customer I have won a prize. I just had to answer a few simple questions. I thought 'why not, I'm not doing anything else', so I did.
I provided email address, phone number, delivery address, presumably so they'll know where to send my iPhone X, which is what they said I'd won.
A few minutes later I got a text congratulating me on my win and giving me a number to call to claim my prize. This I did, and found myself answering more quiz questions to an automated service (example: polar bear are what colour? Press 1 for brown. Press 2 for white. Press 3 for black. Press 4 for blue.
No mention at the start of this just how many questions I was facing. Approximately 25-30 questions in, I gave up. I was about 10 minutes into this call by then. Did I mention that the call was charged at 99p per minute? So I've added about £10 to my next phone bill, and of course my not answering ALL the questions will be their "get out".
It came down to a kind of brinkmanship, how much time and money was I willing to throw at this "prize".
As I remember back to the beginning of this thing, I was one of ten "lucky" people to be chosen, and there were two prizes available. Those questions could have reached a hundred for all I know, which would have cost me about £60, and that by my reckoning would give me a one in five chance of winning.
I'm going to stop typing now, as I can feel myself getting more and more pissed off, and the last thing I need is an anger-stroke added to my next phone bill.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
There's no fool like an old fool.
While looking on ebay, the display was interrupted by an announcement by British Sky Broadcasting that as a valued customer I have won a prize. I just had to answer a few simple questions. I thought 'why not, I'm not doing anything else', so I did.
I provided email address, phone number, delivery address, presumably so they'll know where to send my iPhone X, which is what they said I'd won.
A few minutes later I got a text congratulating me on my win and giving me a number to call to claim my prize. This I did, and found myself answering more quiz questions to an automated service (example: polar bear are what colour? Press 1 for brown. Press 2 for white. Press 3 for black. Press 4 for blue.
No mention at the start of this just how many questions I was facing. Approximately 25-30 questions in, I gave up. I was about 10 minutes into this call by then. Did I mention that the call was charged at 99p per minute? So I've added about £10 to my next phone bill, and of course my not answering ALL the questions will be their "get out".
It came down to a kind of brinkmanship, how much time and money was I willing to throw at this "prize".
As I remember back to the beginning of this thing, I was one of ten "lucky" people to be chosen, and there were two prizes available. Those questions could have reached a hundred for all I know, which would have cost me about £60, and that by my reckoning would give me a one in five chance of winning.
I'm going to stop typing now, as I can feel myself getting more and more pissed off, and the last thing I need is an anger-stroke added to my next phone bill.
Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!
I always work on the premise that you get nowt for nowt, and anyone offering a valuable prize is therefor at it. Also look at your security on pc as i bet that pop up wasnt from sky.
walpurgis
22-04-2018, 14:38
I always work on the premise that you get nowt for nowt, and anyone offering a valuable prize is therefor at it.
Yup!
And now they know your e-mail address you will receive a lot of spam from people trying to interest you in quack remedies; crypto currencies; on-line gambling sites; Asian brides, etc. :doh:
Pigmy Pony
22-04-2018, 14:57
And now they know your e-mail address you will receive a lot of spam from people trying to interest you in quack remedies; crypto currencies; on-line gambling sites; Asian brides, etc. :doh:
Yeah, I'm not interested in any of those, except for the Asian brides bit. It could lighten Mrs. P's workload, so everyone's a winner. I don't want one of those Mongolian ones though, the ones you see herding Llamas on the National Geographic channel.
walpurgis
22-04-2018, 15:05
Yeah, I'm not interested in any of those, except for the Asian brides bit. It could lighten Mrs. P's workload, so everyone's a winner. I don't want one of those Mongolian ones though, the ones you see herding Llamas on the National Geographic channel.
I know a wealthy guy in his sixties who married a much younger Mongolian girl. A right bossy gold digger! She threw all his clothes out and bought him a whole new set that she decided he needed without asking him. I'd have booted her, but then, I'd not have been daft enough to marry her in the first place! He's a mug!!
I'd consider a Mongolian providing she didn't bring the llamas with her. Herding them would not be appropriate round here and they would stop traffic during rush hour. Sorry, but that's a deal-breaker for me.
I quite like their tents though. She could bring that over.
might pay, NOT to marry a postal bride :D hell, wives are 10 a penny, its getting shot of them thats hard...:sofa::eek:
I'd consider a Mongolian providing she didn't bring the llamas with her. Herding them would not be appropriate round here and they would stop traffic during rush hour. Sorry, but that's a deal-breaker for me.
I quite like their tents though. She could bring that over.
could always eat them...keep u in meat for a while
walpurgis
22-04-2018, 15:10
wives are 10 a penny, its getting shot of them thats hard
Damn right. I've still not managed to unload mine. Not much value in scrap I guess. ;)
could always eat them...keep u in meat for a while
Could make a new carpet from the fleeces too.
Okay, you've convinced me.
walpurgis
22-04-2018, 15:12
I'd consider a Mongolian providing she didn't bring the llamas with her
She'd have to go a bloody long way to collect some Llamas.
She'd have to go a bloody long way to collect some Llamas.
Well whatever llamas are called in Mongolia then. I don't know what that is but I've seen them on the telly and it's the same basic idea as a llama.
actually not in mongolia.. got very little bar horses, sheep, camels, cattle and goats
walpurgis
22-04-2018, 15:28
Must be Alpacas then. :D
Pierre De Grenoble
22-04-2018, 15:34
When I worked for a printing company, newbies would be sent to get a tin of striped ink...
on going thru the Panama Canal as a 18 year old first timer I was sent down the gangplank with a huge box of carrots to feed the fecking donkies.. said donkies are huge diesel locos.. and don't start me on on red & green navigation oil and the golden rivet..
Pigmy Pony
22-04-2018, 19:14
actually not in mongolia.. got very little bar horses, sheep, camels, cattle and goats
Hey look, someone who actually learns something from the National Geographic programmes, instead of just looking at the women with their "spaniel's ears" on display
Is there anyone else, like me, who doesn't give a flying fuck? :rolleyes::rolleyes:
Marco.
Is there anyone else, like me, who doesn't give a flying fuck? :rolleyes::rolleyes:
Marco.
Not really interested, after all we've got a royal wedding to look forward to next month and no doubt they'll start churning out noisy pink grubs too.
"Look forward to" wouldn't be my first choice of words;)
Marco [not in any way a Royalist].
walpurgis
23-04-2018, 16:51
Is there anyone else, like me, who doesn't give a flying fuck? :rolleyes::rolleyes:
Marco.
Yup! :D
I think it's wonderful :ner:
walpurgis
23-04-2018, 17:28
I think it's wonderful :ner:
:rolleyes:
:)
I think it's wonderful :ner:
Aye, so you do! And I'm prone to standing up and singing the national anthem;)
Marco.
"Look forward to" wouldn't be my first choice of words;)
Marco [not in any way a Royalist].
Did you not detect the hint of sarcasm?
Pigmy Pony
23-04-2018, 17:57
They've already got two ankle biters, so what's the big deal?
I'm not even going to send them a card this time :(
Did you not detect the hint of sarcasm?
Yes, but I just wanted to underline it. Anyway, apparently it's "another porker":D;)
Marco.
Pigmy Pony
23-04-2018, 18:03
What is newsworthy is that she was able to push out an eight pounder. She's looking a bit bony these days.
If she came round here I'd feed her stew and dumplings till she put on a couple of stone. Then I definitely would. :D
What is newsworthy is that she was able to push out an eight pounder.
Almost as big as what I 'pushed out', then popped down the pan this morning - nearly a 'triple flusher'!:D
Marco.
What is newsworthy is that she was able to push out an eight pounder. She's looking a bit bony these days.
Diana was the same. You'd think living like a Royal it would be the opposite and you'd put weight on with all the banquets and that. Plus you have staff. You can call the kitchen at one a.m and get them to cook you lamb chops or something. I'd never get bored of doing that.
Pigmy Pony
23-04-2018, 18:33
Almost as big as what I 'pushed out', then popped down the pan this morning - nearly a 'triple flusher'!:D
Marco.
Are you going to keep it or put it up for adoption?
And why wasn't I invited to the 'baby shower'?
Are you going to keep it or put it up for adoption?
And why wasn't I invited to the 'baby shower'?
You'd have been too jealous of its size and beautifully firm texture... The 'marbled effect' on the outer shell was simply a work of art.
Marco.
Pigmy Pony
23-04-2018, 19:03
Hmm I dunno, my post-weekend logs are so substantial I could tie them together and make a raft, if only they'd float.
Perhaps if I had a big plate of beans Sunday evening, I got could infuse them with pockets of gas. Might compromise the structural integrity though. :scratch:
Lol... Compromised structural integrity is a worry, 'cos when you're pressing one out, it can cause stools to snap in half - and just as you think that ya plop is ready to drop, leaves you with a pointy mini-beef olive, hanging from yer arse, which you don't know whether to wipe clean [thus running the risk of spreading it over yer arse cheeks, using up a shed-load of Andrex in the process], or try and 'pop out' cleanly, to avoid any skidderoonies later....
None of that will be new to you, though!:D
Marco.
walpurgis
23-04-2018, 21:31
Had a spot of bother with the last one. Seemed to go on for ages! :lol:
http://i64.tinypic.com/11brcyr.jpg
Had a spot of bother with the last one. Seemed to go on for ages! :lol:
http://i64.tinypic.com/11brcyr.jpg
Came across someting similar in a hotel in Tirana, Albania in 1992!
walpurgis
23-04-2018, 21:40
I have seen similar. Used to work with the Public Health department of a local authority. Saw some pretty ghastly stuff. Didn't let it faze me though! :D
Pigmy Pony
24-04-2018, 06:16
That tile grouting is disgusting - hope the tiler wasn't expecting payment
Had a spot of bother with the last one. Seemed to go on for ages! :lol:
http://i64.tinypic.com/11brcyr.jpg
Looks like a failed triple-flusher, with some major bog roll blow-back... It can happen if the 'turtle heads' in question are too fat to flush:D
Marco.
P.S Pop a pastry lid on that, and you've got yourself a family-sized Ginsters 'steak slice'.
rMrSZ76tEnA
Haha - friggin' belter, Roy. I remember that episode well!:D
I suspect there was a tad too much roughage in that dude's diet.... Lovely pointed top on that turd though, so he must've 'nipped it' just at the right time. Admirable muscle control, sir!:respect:
Marco.
Pigmy Pony
27-04-2018, 18:53
I did a similar one during the return ferry crossing from Balboa a few years ago, but mine wasn't self-supporting, rather it was climbing up the porcelain all the way to the seat.
Unfortunately my phone didn't have a camera, and Mrs. P flatly refused to take a picture with hers. Shame really, I swear that thing had a face.
I called it Colin, because there's no "i" in colon.
walpurgis
27-04-2018, 19:03
I did a similar one during the return ferry crossing from Balboa a few years ago, but mine wasn't self-supporting, rather it was climbing up the porcelain all the way to the seat.
Unfortunately my phone didn't have a camera, and Mrs. P flatly refused to take a picture with hers. Shame really, I swear that thing had a face.
I called it Colin, because there's no "i" in colon.
Somebody left a monster in the pan at work one day, but nobody fessed up. We called it 'the sinking of the Bismark'.
Pigmy Pony
27-04-2018, 19:33
In the office toilets where I used to work (wait, I'll re-word that)
In the office where I used to work, the toilet had a 'climber' almost every day.
After some detective work we found it was the bosses son. I think he was under a lot of pressure, and it's likely he commenced shitting before his arse hit the seat in order to save time, and consequently the log was laid upside down, ie log-head hit side of bowl and the rest went downwards with the epilog hitting the water.
The ladies toilet regularly blocked, until one day our resident handyman came into the office and loudly proclaimed that 'That toilet has a four inch pipe, so someone in here has a five-inch asshole.' It didn't block nearly as much after that.
walpurgis
27-04-2018, 19:37
our resident handyman came into the office and loudly proclaimed that 'That toilet has a four inch pipe, so someone in here has a five-inch asshole.' It didn't block nearly as much after that.
Did he get paid 'time and a turd'?:D
This just gets worse.
In the office block I work in there was this other company sharing the place for a while and if you went in the bogs... just imagine you took a collection of farm animals; cows, pigs, sheep, goats, badgers, herded them into the toilets and locked them in there for 24 hours.
I mean it was unbelievable. You had to hold your breath the whole time or you would still be smelling it at ten o'clock that night. It was that sort of stench.
And you would encounter these people, they would come bombing down the stairwell towards you, and where they touched the wall they would leave dirt like that 'You're my wife now' bloke off of League Of Gentlemen.
In the end I found a bathroom in the basement that no-one else but the cleaners knew about. Happy days.
Pigmy Pony
27-04-2018, 21:03
Did he get paid 'time and a turd'?:D
Great stuff! I know he was on a shit wage, as he didn't have a pot to piss in
Minstrel SE
28-04-2018, 21:17
Yes I see we are still on the subject of toilets.
Public toilets are a big FFS for me. Most of them are disgusting and I dread being caught short away from home.
I will come back to this thread in a couple of pages when hopefully it will have moved on. Im a bit shocked to be honest that grown educated men are posting pictures of full toilet bowls :(
Yes I see we are still on the subject of toilets.
Public toilets are a big FFS for me. Most of them are disgusting and I dread being caught short away from home.
I will come back to this thread in a couple of pages when hopefully it will have moved on. Im a bit shocked to be honest that grown educated men are posting pictures of full toilet bowls :(
+1
Yes I see we are still on the subject of toilets.
Public toilets are a big FFS for me. Most of them are disgusting and I dread being caught short away from home.
I will come back to this thread in a couple of pages when hopefully it will have moved on. Im a bit shocked to be honest that grown educated men are posting pictures of full toilet bowls :(
We don't get to choose what we find funny. I mean I don't get the joke either but I just skim over it. I don't find it shocking. But then I have cleaned out pigsties.
And I used to have to unblock the ladies' toilets when we had the pub. I never worked out why that was always my job. But if you're shocked by shit don't ever attempt to fix the ladies' toilets.
Ninanina
28-04-2018, 21:56
Toilets :lol:
Public ones are just nasty... :(
walpurgis
28-04-2018, 21:59
Toilets :lol:
Public ones are just nasty... :(
Some private ones can be just as bad. You should see mine......and the smell! :eek:
Just kidding. It's clean! The walk to the hut at the bottom of the garden gets a bit wearing though and when it's snowing..............;)
Ninanina
28-04-2018, 22:00
Some private ones can be just as bad. You should see mine......and the smell! :eek:
Just kidding. It's clean! The walk to the hut at the bottom of the garden gets a bit wearing though and when it's snowing..............;)
What's the 'hut' like Geoff?
Here's a new one of mine.
That advert where the poor bloke is looking for his cat and some lanky twat gives him a load of grief over it and then acts all smug. In reality he'd get a garden gnome through his precious windows after talking to someone like that but they never show you that bit for some reason.
Ninanina
28-04-2018, 22:06
Here's a new one of mine.
That advert where the poor bloke is looking for his cat and some lanky twat gives him a load of grief over it and then acts all smug. In reality he'd get a garden gnome through his precious windows after talking to someone like that but they never show you that bit for some reason.
What advert is that one Martin ?
walpurgis
28-04-2018, 22:09
What's the 'hut' like Geoff?
It's OK once I've turfed the goats out and moved the pushbike. :)
That one for the doorbell gizmo; so when someone rings your doorbell it comes up on your 'phone. And there's a camera and loudspeaker so you can see them and talk to them; and give them grief if you are a smug, lanky twat.
Ninanina
28-04-2018, 22:12
It's OK once I've turfed the goats out and moved the pushbike. :)
damn those goats.. they get everywhere don't they ?
Ninanina
28-04-2018, 22:12
That one for the doorbell gizmo; so when someone rings your doorbell it comes up on your 'phone. And there's a camera and loudspeaker so you can see them and talk to them; and give them grief if you are a smug, lanky twat.
I know the one Martin... :doh:
I know the one Martin... :doh:
Does it make you want to immediately beat him to death?
If it does then you are perfectly normal.
Ninanina
28-04-2018, 22:16
Does it make you want to immediately beat him to death?
If it does then you are perfectly normal.
It does a bit to be honest ... so I'm 'normal' then .... :D
It does a bit to be honest ... so I'm 'normal' then .... :D
You are. When you get the word, put a chalk cross on your front door and we'll pass you over.
Ninanina
28-04-2018, 22:24
You are. When you get the word, put a chalk cross on your front door and we'll pass you over.
I'll do that Martin
:rfl:
Pigmy Pony
29-04-2018, 08:25
Does it make you want to immediately beat him to death?
If it does then you are perfectly normal.
Sorry Bev, but a diagnosis from Dr. Macca should be taken with a pinch of salt. Better to get a second opinion.
My surgery hours are: 9am to 4pm, with a really long lunch break
Saturdays; off playing golf
Appointments; call between 8.30 and 8.45, and be prepared to be put on hold for a reeeeallly long time (good luck with that one)
regards,
Dr. Condescending God-complex
Crackles
29-04-2018, 08:57
That one for the doorbell gizmo; so when someone rings your doorbell it comes up on your 'phone. And there's a camera and loudspeaker so you can see them and talk to them; and give them grief if you are a smug, lanky twat.Those ads are absolutely ridiculous. The 'burglars' are always well dressed, clean cut, twentysomething white males. Never a gang of scrawny teenage scrotes in trackies or a toothless smackhead - i.e. the sort of people who actually do burgle houses. And when the unbelievably smug, confidently assertive homeowner tells them to go away they immediately oblige. They don't show you the bit where he laughs and tells them to fuck off or where he returns twenty minutes later with a brick, or the bit where the-by-now-not-so-confident homeowner phones the police who tell him they will try to get someone there within 24 hours.
And the houses they live in are always unfeasibly palatial. Why can't they just live in a normal semi? It makes the product look like a fashion accessory for wannabe millionaires rather than an effective security device.
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Those ads are absolutely ridiculous. The 'burglars' are always well dressed, clean cut, twentysomething white males. Never a gang of scrawny teenage scrotes in trackies or a toothless smackhead - i.e. the sort of people who actually do burgle houses. And when the unbelievably smug, confidently assertive homeowner tells them to go away they immediately oblige. They don't show you the bit where he laughs and tells them to fuck off or where he returns twenty minutes later with a brick, or the bit where the-by-now-not-so-confident homeowner phones the police who tell him they will try to get someone there within 24 hours.
And the houses they live in are always unfeasibly palatial. Why can't they just live in a normal semi? It makes the product look like a fashion accessory for wannabe millionaires rather than an effective security device.
Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk
seconded.
Pigmy Pony
29-04-2018, 09:12
And the aforementioned scumbags wouldn't call during the day anyway. After a night burgling houses, smoking skunk and drinking whatever they could steal from the offy, they get their twelve kids off to school before going to bed for a few hours. followed by a trip on their stolen pushbikes to the pawn shop to exchange last night's takings for the X-Box they pawned last month.
Hoodies and the cover of night is the secret of their success.
walpurgis
29-04-2018, 09:17
We should organise a cull. :guns:
Pigmy Pony
29-04-2018, 09:45
Sign me up for that!
I don't know why the same technology that puts trackers in vehicles cannot be applied to the most commonly stolen items (tech gear and power tools). It could be installed in such away that attempts to remove would render the item permanently inoperable and therefore valueless.
Perhaps the manufacturers don't want this as it would be bad for business, as victims of theft would normally go out and buy a replacement.
walpurgis
29-04-2018, 10:01
We should organise a cull. :guns:
Just realised, this could be tricky. The scumbags are the ones with all the knives and guns. Will have a rethink. Might be easier just to level certain housing estates with occupants in situ.
We don't get to choose what we find funny. I mean I don't get the joke either but I just skim over it. I don't find it shocking. But then I have cleaned out pigsties.
And I used to have to unblock the ladies' toilets when we had the pub. I never worked out why that was always my job. But if you're shocked by shit don't ever attempt to fix the ladies' toilets.
My very first job involved me being tea-boy for a large office with a (mostly) female workforce. For some reason, the drinking water tap was in the ladies cloakroom, but it was always my job to fill the kettle. I would cough loudly and call out 'anyone in there?' before going in. Invariably, one of the female office staff would be hiding in there and would (jokingly) scream out in terror as I walked in. How we laughed.
Pigmy Pony
29-04-2018, 17:38
I think women may have a different digestive system to men, and even when dosing up on Avtivia may go several days with no results.
When they do eventually go, they've carried the "brown baby" almost to full term. The screaming you heard is probably not a response to your arrival, rather it's the trauma of childbirth :D
The new arrival will look something like this :uhho:
Pigmy Pony
29-04-2018, 17:40
Sorry Martin, I'm taking a break from toilet humour, so you can come back now :)
Pigmy Pony
29-04-2018, 17:42
Though to be fair, it's usually Marco's fault
Pigmy Pony
29-04-2018, 18:32
Just realised, this could be tricky. The scumbags are the ones with all the knives and guns. Will have a rethink. Might be easier just to level certain housing estates with occupants in situ.
Some subliminal messages on the Jeremy Kyle show might do the trick ("I am worthless, the whole world hates me, may as well end it now").
A bit worried about all the staffies though. The RSPCA is already full of them.
Some subliminal messages on the Jeremy Kyle show might do the trick ("I am worthless, the whole world hates me, may as well end it now").
A bit worried about all the staffies though. The RSPCA is already full of them.
Say what you like about them but I've seen that Kyle show and the one thing that I take away from it is that these people lead really exciting lives.
I just get up, go to work, go home, watch a bit of telly and go to bed. But they've had 7 children with 5 different women, been arrested on multiple occasions, been in prison several times, acquired a major drug and alcohol habit and they're only 22.
I mean my life when I was younger was not uneventful. But now I feel like I missed out.
walpurgis
29-04-2018, 19:02
Can you imagine the response of the shiftless scumbags if there was a major crisis requiring miltary mobilisation and conscription. They'd be tearing round the country looking for places to hide. And all the 'illegals' would be doing that too, but there again, they already are! Of course that won't work anymore, in a time of emergency things get serious!!
Minstrel SE
29-04-2018, 19:06
Yeah whats this door gizmo ad so I can check it out. (Oh the door ring ad that Liverpudlians have been complaining about) Ive very briefly lived in areas where any hifi system would last about a week in the place that you put it. I didnt have any stuff at the time which was a bonus because it wouldnt have been there when I came back
Ive just been watching a video on those houses in Stoke on Trent and elsewhere that they sell for a pound. Theres a very good reason for that because these places cant be turned around by a few bohemian artistic do gooders. Its just not that easy with deep rooted problems
This arty lady thought she could sort it all out by reopening the pub as a community art centre :) She didnt seem to notice all the burglaries, mayhem and trouble around her.. Grim looking mothers stood on doorsteps telling their kids to stay off the drugs and get in. The sort of mothers that mostly didnt give a shit what their kids were getting up to
My mate tried living in a problem inner city regeneration area and the first thing they sprayed on his wall was "kill the yuppies". he used to get his car windows smashed on a semi regular basis and the area just didnt feel safe. I cant now believe I parked my hot hatch there on ocassion and it remained untouched....more luck than judgement. It was a nice enough affordable three story townhouse if you locked yourself in and pretended it was somewhere else. However the area just ruined it all.
So that advert you are talking about doesnt go near the reality where they will gather outside the house and loudly announce there will be a burglary soon. Ive seen estates where a protection racket soon starts for all new occupants.
A very sad refelection on Britain and I would rather be homeless than be anywhere near such an area
Can you imagine the response of the shiftless scumbags if there was a major crisis requiring miltary mobilisation and conscription. They'd be tearing round the country looking for places to hide. And all the 'illegals' would be doing that too, but there again, they already are! Of course that won't work anymore, in a time of emergency things get serious!!
Although throughout history the British army and navy was recruited largely from that demographic. The RAF too if people I've met from the RAF regiment are anything to go by. Say what you like about them but they beat the French, the Spanish, the Germans, the Japanese and various assorted other nations and territories pretty consistently over the last 1000 years.
As Wellington supposedly said, 'I don't know what effect they will have on the enemy but by God they terrify me.'
If it wasn't for the Great British scum we would all be speaking German. Fact.
Say what you like about them but I've seen that Kyle show and the one thing that I take away from it is that these people lead really exciting lives.
I just get up, go to work, go home, watch a bit of telly and go to bed. But they've had 7 children with 5 different women, been arrested on multiple occasions, been in prison several times, acquired a major drug and alcohol habit and they're only 22.
I mean my life when I was younger was not uneventful. But now I feel like I missed out.
I've always been dull. I was born about 45 years old. But since I don't watch Kyle, I don't get to see the 'alternative' lifestyle choices I might have made, so don't feel I've missed out.
Although throughout history the British army and navy was recruited largely from that demographic. The RAF too if people I've met from the RAF regiment are anything to go by. Say what you like about them but they beat the French, the Spanish, the Germans, the Japanese and various assorted other nations and territories pretty consistently over the last 1000 years.
As Wellington supposedly said, 'I don't know what effect they will have on the enemy but by God they terrify me.'
He also said: 'A French army is composed very differently from ours. The conscription calls out a share of every class — no matter whether your son or my son — all must march; but our friends — I may say it in this room — are the very scum of the earth. People talk of their enlisting from their fine military feeling — all stuff — no such thing. Some of our men enlist from having got bastard children — some for minor offences — many more for drink; but you can hardly conceive such a set brought together, and it really is wonderful that we should have made them the fine fellows they are.'
He also said: 'A French army is composed very differently from ours. The conscription calls out a share of every class — no matter whether your son or my son — all must march; but our friends — I may say it in this room — are the very scum of the earth. People talk of their enlisting from their fine military feeling — all stuff — no such thing. Some of our men enlist from having got bastard children — some for minor offences — many more for drink; but you can hardly conceive such a set brought together, and it really is wonderful that we should have made them the fine fellows they are.'
The British never had conscription until WW1, always an all-volunteer army. That was the difference. Although sometimes if you'd ben nicked for something it was either volunteer or go to prison. The Yanks still do that I think.
Crackles
29-04-2018, 19:31
Yeah whats this door gizmo ad so I can check it out. Ive very briefly lived in areas where any hifi system would last about a week in the place that you put it. I didnt have any stuff at the time which was a bonus because it wouldnt have been there when I came back
Ive just been watching a video on those houses in Stoke on Trent and elsewhere that they sell for a pound. Theres a very good reason for that because these places cant be turned around by a few bohemian artistic do gooders. Its just not that easy with deep rooted problems
This arty lady thought she could sort it all out by reopening the pub as a community art centre :) She didnt seem to notice all the burglaries, mayhem and trouble around her.. Grim looking mothers stood on doorsteps telling their kids to stay off the drugs and get in. The sort of mothers that mostly didnt give a shit what their kids were getting up to
My mate tried living in a problem inner city regeneration area and the first thing they sprayed on his wall was "kill the yuppies". he used to get his car windows smashed on a semi regular basis and the area just didnt feel safe. I cant now believe I parked my hot hatch there on ocassion and it remained untouched....more luck than judgement. It was a nice enough affordable three story townhouse if you locked yourself in and pretended it was somewhere else. However the area just ruined it all.
So that advert you are talking about doesnt go near the reality where they will gather outside the house and loudly announce there will be a burglary soon. Ive seen estates where a protection racket soon starts for all new occupants.
A very sad refelection on Britain and I would rather be homeless than be anywhere near such an areaAll spot on. These middle class, arty do-gooder types really are the silliest bunch of tw@ts aren't they? Generation after generation, they go on these self-serving ego trips to 'save the working class', a demographic group that they hopelessly fail to understand. I do think it's a particular quirk of the liberal, white, British middle class that they just assume they know what is best for everyone else. They simply can't comprehend that there are people who don't actually want to live and think like them.
Oscar Wilde once described these people perfectly in 'the Picture of Dorian Gray'.
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The British never had conscription until WW1, always an all-volunteer army.
Indeed; a 'standing army' was traditionally seen as posing a threat to liberty. Plus the officer class bought their commissions and could buy their way out again, the army being one of the few respectable occupations for the sons of gentlemen (the Church and the Law being the others). The Royal Navy did a fair bit of 'enforced' recruitment via the Press Gangs.
Indeed; a 'standing army' was traditionally seen as posing a threat to liberty. Plus the officer class bought their commissions and could buy their way out again, the army being one of the few respectable occupations for the sons of gentlemen (the Church and the Law being the others). The Royal Navy did a fair bit of 'enforced' recruitment via the Press Gangs.
The reason they did and still do not have conscription was because the Army and the other services don't want it. You conscript someone against their will they have a legitimate reason to bitch and moan and run away at the first sign of danger, but if they volunteered there's no excuse. Makes it a lot easier to turn them into killers that way.
The whole 'Press Gang' thing has recently been called into question. Apparently it hardly ever happened and when it did it wasn't the Royal Navy doing it.
The whole 'Press Gang' thing has recently been called into question. Apparently it hardly ever happened and when it did it wasn't the Royal Navy doing it.
Don't tell me - it was them aliens doing it.
walpurgis
29-04-2018, 19:55
The rabble might find they like being put in the forces. It saves having to think about working properly for a living or finding food and a roof over their heads. Much like being in prison, which a good few actually seem to not mind.
Don't tell me - it was them aliens doing it.
The RN were pretty fussy about who they recruited. I mean if you were drugged or knocked unconscious and woke up on a sailing ship being told to 'Splice the mainbrace' or whatever, would you have any idea what you were doing? Or would you just stand around looking confused until someone took pity on you?
I know I wouldn't have a clue about the first thing, so what use am I going to be on a four month voyage to Australia or somewhere equally God-forsaken?
Minstrel SE
29-04-2018, 20:06
All spot on. These middle class, arty do-gooder types really are the silliest bunch of tw@ts aren't they? Generation after generation, they go on these self-serving ego trips to 'save the working class', a demographic group that they hopelessly fail to understand. I do think it's a particular quirk of the liberal, white, British middle class that they just assume they know what is best for everyone else. They simply can't comprehend that there are people who don't actually want to live and think like them.
Oscar Wilde once described these people perfectly in 'the Picture of Dorian Gray'.
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Well Yes buts its the more grounded bohemian section of the working class that dont have the answers to these deep rooted issues. Her heart was in the right place but I dont think she knows what a job she has on. How does she reach out to them because they will take kindness as a sign of weakness as I have seen in the help and community centres. Just as their parents did they invert everything to a them and us situation. Really many of them are clinically depressed and get nasty and drug addled with it
I like to see the good in people but Ive seen pure evil in these gangs. Look at these scooter gangs around London who will vehicle jack, mug and knife people without a second thought.
Ok they are growing up in twisted families with no positive rolemodels but I dont see it as a full excuse for the things they get up to. They dont have the same set of boundaries or fears. Want it and they will take it. I dont buy that there is nuffink to do but they just seem so twisted up. A good guess is their parents are pretty twisted up and may never have worked. Thay hate the police and seem to live in this twilight world where drugs and crime make work for idle hands.
It is feral and they are completely out of control. Worse still, the deterrents and punishments seem weak and ineffective.
I dont know if there are any excuses for them. I didnt have much growing up and I got what my dad could afford on birthdays and christmas. I didnt go stealing and causing mayhem
I dont know if Martin is trying to suggest national service but I feel they do need some strict discipline if thats semi borstal or not. They do need some environment to make them proud of a daily routine or is that too easy to say? The hope one day is that they grow up and see the light but do they ever?
I dont know if Martin is trying to suggest national service but I feel they do need some strict discipline if thats semi borstal or not. They do need some environment to make them proud of a daily routine or is that too easy to say?
What me? No, I don't agree with having National Service. I'm all for freedom of the individual. Where practical.
For me I suspect there is no solution. No matter how wealthy the country you will always have an underclass who live in a twilight world much of it connected to supplying things people want but are illegal. Drugs, mostly. Somebody has to do it. And it's arguably better than cleaning toilets or doing a similar monotonous and low-paid job. Although some do that as well.
Legalising cannabis and cocaine probably isn't practical. Nor is the opposite approach of introducing draconian penalties for possession and dealing. So the best strategy is just to keep a lid on it and make sure it doesn't get too out of hand. Which is what they do now anyway since they already thought that all through decades ago.
walpurgis
29-04-2018, 20:24
draconian penalties for possession and dealing
That worked in the post war years until the mid sixties, then things got a bit more liberal.
That worked in the post war years until the mid sixties, then things got a bit more liberal.
The demand for cocaine and cannabis wasn't there like it is now though. It's a black market in the tens of billions now. The tax revenue from legalising it would make North Sea oil look like a ten shilling postal order. We could be like Brunei.
But the same attitude to policing prevailed in the past, which was all about knowing who the wrong 'uns were and keeping a lid on them. No-one ever thought that one day they would have locked up all the scrotes and crime would stop. I've never met a copper who thought there was a solution to it all that would make him redundant. And you'd think they would know if there was one.
Crackles
29-04-2018, 20:40
Well Yes buts its the more grounded bohemian section of the working class that dont have the answers to these deep rooted issues. Her heart was in the right place but I dont think she knows what a job she has on. How does she reach out to them because they will take kindness as a sign of weakness as I have seen in the help and community centres. Just as their parents did they invert everything to a them and us situation. Really many of them are clinically depressed and get nasty and drug addled with it
I like to see the good in people but Ive seen pure evil in these gangs. Look at these scooter gangs around London who will vehicle jack, mug and knife people without a second thought.
Ok they are growing up in twisted families with no positive rolemodels but I dont see it as a full excuse for the things they get up to. They dont have the same set of boundaries or fears. Want it and they will take it. I dont buy that there is nuffink to do but they just seem so twisted up. A good guess is their parents are pretty twisted up and may never have worked. Thay hate the police and seem to live in this twilight world where drugs and crime make work for idle hands.
It is feral and they are completely out of control. Worse still, the deterrents and punishments seem weak and ineffective.
I dont know if there are any excuses for them. I didnt have much growing up and I got what my dad could afford on birthdays and christmas. I didnt go stealing and causing mayhem
I dont know if Martin is trying to suggest national service but I feel they do need some strict discipline if thats semi borstal or not. They do need some environment to make them proud of a daily routine or is that too easy to say? The hope one day is that they grow up and see the light but do they ever?I grew up with lots of people like the ones you describe and I am pretty convinced that most of their behaviour is genetic. The culture then follows on from that and helps to perpetuate the normality of it all. The thing I could never accept in the rough places I have lived is the total indifference to violence and crime. And I think the only thing that will get you out of that environment is your own will to do so. It is utterly pointless someone offering you the opportunity to take part in an art project if that's not what comes naturally to you and you thrive on danger, act on instincts and have no ability to think beyond the moment.
I think the more sensible working class people are far more realistic about these things, and understand that people make their own decisions based on the personalities they were born with. The sociology types seem to think that everything is cultural and that everybody can be changed. I just don't think they ever truly understand the minds of the underclass/scallys or whatever you want to call them, hence my original comments.
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I grew up with lots of people like the ones you describe and I am pretty convinced that most of their behaviour is genetic.
I'm not big on the criminal gene theory. We grow up accepting our immediate environment as normal, regardless of how abnormal it may be (and who defines normal?) and we learn behaviours from the behaviours we see.
And what about all the people who had good educations and good upbringings but who commit crime? Plenty of them around. Just because they are not smashing your patio doors in and nicking your hoover doesn't mean they are not equally the problem.
walpurgis
29-04-2018, 21:01
No doubt the figures were 'massaged', but crime in Nazi Germany was remarkably low compared to what had gone before, presumably because of the consequences. This suggests that lack of effective deterrent may be the current problem here. I think so. Obviously there are those who will do wrong regardless.
No doubt the figures were 'massaged', but crime in Nazi Germany was remarkably low compared to what had gone before, presumably because of the consequences. This suggests that lack of effective deterrent may be the current problem here. I think so. Obviously there are those who will do wrong regardless.
Also the Nazis reduced unemployment very quickly; if you eliminate the need to steal then you get a lot less theft. We would all steal if we were in a desperate enough situation. How desperate depends on the individual. It's a sliding scale but everyone is on it somewhere.
Crackles
29-04-2018, 21:17
I'm not big on the criminal gene theory. We grow up accepting our immediate environment as normal, regardless of how abnormal it may be (and who defines normal?) and we learn behaviours from the behaviours we see.
And what about all the people who had good educations and good upbringings but who commit crime? Plenty of them around. Just because they are not smashing your patio doors in and nicking your hoover doesn't mean they are not equally the problem.Yeah that's the point though really. It is in the individual regardless of their upbringing or environment. Hence there are loads of people in the poorest areas who don't ever commit crime, and privileged, educated people who do. But the poorest areas have a critical mass of people who think in a certain way, and so that affects the cultural normality for lots of other people too. My point is that if they have that mentality then no amount of re-education is going to change them. And many of them say why should they? The laws and the standards of moral acceptability are made by the ruling classes based on the values of the ruling classes. The underclass feel completely disengaged from and unrepresented by government institutions so they don't give a toss whether the dominant class approves of them or not.
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no doubt that its a bit of both; genes may well make you more likely to be "bad", just as environment and necessity can. Put both together and your risk increases, as does your potential for "badness".
Govts across the globe have failed "the" people, for their people, and their ideals; often wealth and its trappings.
Do-gooders invariably make things worse as they look at a problem from their own perspective and not the wrong-doers one. When they brought out the volstead act in 1920, it was only initially a success until the people got orginised in how to beat it. It raised criminality, and alcoholism, as people who would normally drink beer had to drink whisky, and not good whisky at that. insanity increased due to drinking wood alcohol etc.. Kids began drinking the stuff as they could get it easier than when it was sold in shops.
So the great social experiment failed dismally as almost all do, because the people dont want it. Legalise drugs and the demand will reduce due to availability of good clean stuff. The kids in general dont really desire as much things that are not prohibited. Also the money saved from chasing drugs and the tax you take in could be put into improving things in the country.. of course they would most likely make their way into the pockets of the rich, but thats another story.
.
Do-gooders invariably make things worse as they look at a problem from their own perspective and not the wrong-doers one. .
Very true.
No doubt the figures were 'massaged', but crime in Nazi Germany was remarkably low compared to what had gone before, presumably because of the consequences. This suggests that lack of effective deterrent may be the current problem here. I think so. Obviously there are those who will do wrong regardless.
Surely mass false imprisonment and theft of property followed by mass murder represented anything other than 'remarkably low' crime?
Legalising cannabis and cocaine probably isn't practical. Nor is the opposite approach of introducing draconian penalties for possession and dealing. So the best strategy is just to keep a lid on it and make sure it doesn't get too out of hand. Which is what they do now anyway since they already thought that all through decades ago.
I don't see why legalising cannabis isn't practical; several US states have done so. The line between which drugs are legal (alcohol, tobacco) and which are not (everything else, more or less) is in any case an entirely artificial one. Alcohol probably does more damage both in terms of the individual's health and as a trigger to violent crime than cannabis does. If you mean that no UK government is likely to legalise cannabis, I agree.
Here's my favourite Raymond Chandler quote about the trade-off between liberty and crime:
'In one way, all cops are the same. They blame the wrong things. If a guy loses at a crap table, stop gambling. If he gets drunk, ban liquor. If he kills someone in a car crash, stop making automobiles. If he gets pinched with a girl in a hotel room, stop sexual intercourse. If he falls downstairs, stop building houses'
'In one way, all cops are the same. They blame the wrong things. If a guy loses at a crap table, stop gambling. If he gets drunk, ban liquor. If he kills someone in a car crash, stop making automobiles. If he gets pinched with a girl in a hotel room, stop sexual intercourse. If he falls downstairs, stop building houses'
Spot on. Doctors are the same. They are there to treat illness but they seem to have expanded their role into trying to prevent illness before it happens. Not in any intelligent way, just banning things or making them stupidly expensive.
walpurgis
30-04-2018, 08:19
Surely mass false imprisonment and theft of property followed by mass murder represented anything other than 'remarkably low' crime?
As most will realise, that that was not what I was getting at.
Crackles
30-04-2018, 08:29
As most will realise, that that was not what I was getting at.You're right. It didn't need pointing out to me.
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As most will realise, that that was not what I was getting at.
It seemed to me to be a classic case of a cure that was worse than the disease, sort of like saying 'since I burned my house down, I no longer have a problem with rising damp'.
Pigmy Pony
01-05-2018, 18:38
Minimum 50p per unit of alcohol in Scotland. Are they taking the piss or what?
I bet owners of off licences in Carlisle are rubbing their hands together :cheers:
yup, booze cruises over the border are already being orginised. sure Mizz Fish egg will try and make this illegal next.... lol. Interesting that Buckfast prices stay the same.
When did people start getting SUPER excited about things?
When did people start getting SUPER excited about things?
well I did when Liz Hurley flashed her tits at me:ner:
Pigmy Pony
01-05-2018, 22:07
Well they are a bit super...
people that ask 'can i have first dibs' wtf does that mean??
if you want to buy something and want it holding put a bloody deposit down like we do in the real world!
as you can guess i hate this saying :lol:
DIBS>>>A claim to the right to use or enjoy something exclusively or before anyone else.:D
Pigmy Pony
07-05-2018, 13:38
people that ask 'can i have first dibs' wtf does that mean??
if you want to buy something and want it holding put a bloody deposit down like we do in the real world!
as you can guess i hate this saying :lol:
Turntable in your avatar looks cool Jamie.
If you ever decide to sell it can I have first dibs?
Pigmy Pony
11-05-2018, 19:52
When I see adverts for the latest 4K TV's on my Panasonic plasma, the picture looks amazing. Why would I ever change it?
I think these advertisers are shooting themselves in the foot, or maybe they just think I'm stupid. :upyours:
Minstrel SE
13-05-2018, 21:43
Boring people who trap you into a conversation at inappropriate moments when Im just wanting my own space. I say conversation but its just inane small talk and usually all about them. They have no sense of keeping it light and interesting
I was just wolfing down a donner and chips after a Tescos shopping trip and this guy starts talking to me after I returned a quip about whether Im enjoying it. Suddenly Im getting all the boring detail about his visit to some Dim Sum restaurant in London. (Are we friends now as the awkward wind down starts....dont leave me :D)
Im thinking jog on pal and how do I get out of this. Maybe the guy is lonely but I always get em just like I get the nutter in the pub. A bit of eye contact and Im getting the full run down on his last army tour...but if I mention the Queens name in vain I'm dead meat...I'm in his world now but I remain polite as I'm getting insulted and bored to tears. Really its time to rush the pint and leave
Im fed up with it and I must have a look that attracts them. At least I have the decency to keep it online so you can skip over it :D
walpurgis
13-05-2018, 21:57
I don't have that problem. I manage to look pretty hostile most of the time, so people generally don't try to engage me in conversation, thank goodness. If they do, I just give a non-commital grunt and turn my back on them. Works a treat! :D
I don't have that problem. I manage to look pretty hostile most of the time, so people generally don't try to engage me in conversation, thank goodness. If they do, I just give a non-commital grunt and turn my back on them. Works a treat! :D
You can get away with that down south. Up north pointless banter with strangers is accepted practice. Required practice in fact.
Minstrel SE
13-05-2018, 23:49
Yeah I dont mind a bit of light banter if he keeps walking. Im not in his way and hes already starting silly openers about whether I am enjoying the sort of snack thats only designed to fill a hole.
Rules are rules with banter and up to the third meeting as Micky Flanagan jokes about. A smile and a nod is fine thanks. Im not intending to open an opportunity so he can stop and bore the life out of me :)
Pigmy Pony
14-05-2018, 06:15
:lol: He he, One of Mickey Flanagan's funniest stories. Do you end up peeping round the curtains to check they're not out there?
I too have what they call a "hostile resting face", so tend to be left alone. The downside is that I get people saying, "what's up? you look really fed up". Better that though, than a stupid half-smiley face like say, Tony Blair. My arm would never get tired punching that clock. :(
Minstrel SE
14-05-2018, 06:54
Yeah if I put on the poker face some clown tells me to cheer up it may never happen. I think I had my poker face on and a mouth full of donner meat when this guy starts on me.
Yes I end up peeping round the curtains because if Ive bumped into someone three times already, there is no banter for the fourth meeting...it just isnt done as I would have to ignore them and it could get hostile :D.
Its an interesting comment on human nature though. Im quite a private person but can handle a bit of friendly chat as long as they arent boring my socks off. My worst fear is being stuck in a nursing home with people I cant relate to :)
As always, the mighty Half Man Half Biscuit have a song about this very situation:
So I’m walking down the road
And heading towards me
Is somebody I know
But not like a brother
He’s seen me, and we both realise
That we’re going to have to put into operation
The tricky manoeuvre that is
Acknowledgement without breaking stride
So I keep my eyes fixed firmly on the ground
‘Til I get within ten or so feet away
With a nod of the head
And a timely hello
I can carry on walking
Don’t wanna get talking
Rule number one – carry on walking
And anyway I don’t know his name
And if I were to guess
I’d guess it all wrong
And I’d be there for a long time
How’s it going, where’re you living
Do you still see much of Steve?
Are you married, are you working
Do you still drink in The Swan?
Minstrel SE
14-05-2018, 20:29
Yes its good that. I like Half Man Half Biscuit.
There are a few techniques not to break stride. The half acknowledgement without making real eye contact, the swinging wrist forward point as if casually pointing to what youve got to do in that direction.
This can be accompanied by the funny tight lipped smile and raised eyebrows while turning and nodding your head rapidy a few times. Saying alright so quickly that it just somes out as a one syllable noise.
Ive got a not so funny example of a guy that nearly left me in Blackpool once to make my own way home. This is because he couldnt handle his drink and he lost his wallet so he starts taking out his drunken frustrations on me.
So we see each other in town and we both instantly recognise each other. We both know what happened then but we just pretend as if we dont remember, never met and weve moved on. We dont say anything to each other but its an awful moment because you can feel the tension in the air.
Try nutting him next time. He might remember you then [emoji3]
walpurgis
14-05-2018, 20:43
Try nutting him next time. He might remember you then [emoji3]
:lol:
I was thinking of saying something similar. Can't hurt to clear the air! :D
Pigmy Pony
15-05-2018, 06:18
Try nutting him next time. He might remember you then [emoji3]
No one would raise an eyebrow. It's how people in Blackpool say hello.
Little known fact: Singer Alicia Keys' dad lives and works in Blackpool. His name is Don.
walpurgis
17-05-2018, 15:33
Digital cameras. I have half a dozen and each time I need one the batteries are flat. They're all the same, every digital camera I've owned depletes batteries quickly. Surely there's a better way?
Firebottle
17-05-2018, 16:08
With Li-ion batteries there is a finite self discharge. If you keep them in the fridge this is reduced massively.
I suggest a small sealed tub to keep them in.
Another thing to keep in the fridge is super glue. I have some that is years old and still usable.
walpurgis
17-05-2018, 16:14
Might try that Alan. Seems I'm forever charging batteries. :)
Give them a rub on your jumper.
Pieoftheday
17-05-2018, 16:55
I've been watching some daytime TV this week, mostly shite. One program 'ill gotten gains' shows how profits from crime are recovered and put to good use. First story gets so far and the presenter says"we'll show you later what happened" next story starts,half way through "we'll come back to this with the result of the investigation" next story starts!!! And then they return to the other story's bit by bit :steam: just tell one tale at a time for FS!!!
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