Jokes & Funnies

[morris_minor]

[twickers]

[twickers]

Saw this on the wam earlier.

[Sand Dancin Donkey Walker]

Thought this was good,




Andy - SDDW

[The Grand Wazoo]

I was walking past the bank in the High Street the other day and there was a little old lady standing by the cashpoint machine. She looked confused and asked me if I could help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.

[Alex_UK]

[Straff]

Do a Google image search for 'David Cameron side view' and see what comes up first.

[synsei]

This one tickled me

[Gordon Steadman]

My brother in law just sent me this.

By Pam Ayres of course
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY (a husbands point of view)

The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag; T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey"
Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed, An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope; And her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And began to strip, Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week; Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer; And things then from bad to worse;she toppled of her Zimmer! She struggled back upon her feet; A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said I am a dominater!! Now if you knew our Mabel You'd see just why I spluttered,
I 'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered, She stood there nude and naked bent forward just a bit;
I went to hold her, sensual like a nd stood on her left tit! Mabel screamed,her teeth shot out; My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out: "Step on the other one!! Well readers, I can tell no ore; Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned fifty shades of grey.

[synsei]

My brother in law just sent me this.

By Pam Ayres of course
FIFTY SHADES OF GREY (a husbands point of view)

The missus bought a Paperback, down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag; T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey"
Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed, An hour later she appeared; The sight filled me with dread...
In her left she held a rope; And her right a whip! She threw them down upon the floor, And began to strip, Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek; But Mabel hasn't weathered well; She's eighty four next week; Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer; And things then from bad to worse;she toppled of her Zimmer! She struggled back upon her feet; A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said I am a dominater!! Now if you knew our Mabel You'd see just why I spluttered,
I 'd spent two months in traction For the last complaint I'd uttered, She stood there nude and naked bent forward just a bit;
I went to hold her, sensual like a nd stood on her left tit! Mabel screamed,her teeth shot out; My God what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned then shouted out: "Step on the other one!! Well readers, I can tell no ore; Of what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair, Turned fifty shades of grey.

Pure class...