New product priced far too low to gain credibility?

[Steve Toy]

As for footballers and other famous celebrities, my policy was [and remains] always always to quietly screw up the demo.

Given how undiscerning these types probably are, I really wonder how you could possibly screw the dem other than by turning off the tweeters or just the whole thing (or just doing something that simply relieves them of the tits-'n-arse thrill as well as making the setup strip the paint from your walls. Or do you not let them choose their own music and instead force them to listen to Paverotti?

[Neil McCauley]

Given how undiscerning these types probably are, I really wonder how you could possibly screw the dem other than by turning off the tweeters or just the whole thing (or just doing something that simply relieves them of the tits-'n-arse thrill as well as making the setup strip the paint from your walls. Or do you not let them choose their own music and instead force them to listen to Paverotti?

There are many many ways of deliberately screwing up. Depends on how far you need to go to get them to go elsewhere. The easiest was to wire the system out of phase. Yes, even some footballers could tell. Moving up from this, reversing the left and right channels when playing a piece of music well known to them. A sure fire way was to tell them straight out that I always charge a 20% premium for celebrities.

The effort was devoted to getting them to go to some other hapless retailer. In the Camden Town days, I'd direct them to KJ Leisuresound. Jim Dovey [a very decent chap] was far better at dealing with the neurotic and potentially hysterical than I was.

[Marco]

Haha, you're far too considerate, Howard. I'd simply sell them whatever they wanted, relieving them of their money A.S.A.P (in the most painless way possible) and, kerrrrchinnnggg! - Sink it in my back pocket quicker than you can say "That's Asda price!", then laugh at them afterwards whilst enjoying a rather nice holiday (or whatever) paid for at their expense!

I'm nice that way

Marco.

[Neil McCauley]

Haha, you're far too considerate, Howard. I'd simply sell them whatever they wanted, relieving them of their money A.S.A.P (in the most painless way possible) and, kerrrrchinnnggg! - Sink it in my back pocket quicker than you can say "That's Asda price!", then laugh at them afterwards whilst enjoying a rather nice holiday (or whatever) paid for at their expense!

I'm nice that way

Marco.

Really? You think I didn't try that in the early days?

These people have very nasty lawyers. It doesn't matter how 'correct' you are as a retailer, you still get celebrity s**t. For example, what would you do if a cheque from a celebrity bounced AND at the same time you get a letter from their lawyer telling you than on their client's behalf they taken 'grave offence' that the client has been sold a pair of speakers when surely one individual speaker would do? Moreover they are considering bringing an action for the 'distress' caused to their client.

Of course one could fight it in Court - and win - but look at the amount of time and distraction it would cause to a one-man retailer. And they know it. So I didn't.

[Marco]

Yep, I agree.

Just take a cash payment only on supply of goods from these sorts of people; accept no other form of payment from them unless it's guaranteed by their bank or credit card company, that way the genuine ones without 'issues' will pay up accordingly in return for a nice hi-fi system, consequently you're quids in with no hassle, and the 'loons' will take their 'business' elsewhere...

If you scare them all off then it's business as usual with nothing lost.

Or from your experience does that not work?

Marco.

[Neil McCauley]

Yep, I agree.

Just take a cash payment only on supply of goods from these sorts of people; accept no other form of payment from them unless it's guaranteed by their bank or credit card company, that way the genuine ones without 'issues' will pay up accordingly in return for a nice hi-fi system, consequently you're quids in with no hassle, and the 'loons' will take their 'business' elsewhere...

If you scare them all off then it's business as usual with nothing lost.

Or from your experience does that not work?

Marco.

VERY rich people do not carry cash. Well, not usually £25k's worth. Might be different culturally different in your business though.

I installed a system in the early 1980s for one of the ex wives of a very famous Hollywood film star. She wouldn’t pay. There was no valid reason other than in her view, she could, because she could.

After a month had passed, on the pretext of wanting to adjust the turntable after the settling in period I returned with my wire cutters. This was before the days of IEC detachable power cords. I cut every power cord. I then started to pick up the equipment and walked out with it.

Truly truly, I can still hear her hysterical harridan shriek, right down the stairwell at Cheyne Walk of “Isn’t my effing money good enough for you?” I politely pointed out that it wasn’t. And that was that.

But that's nothing compared to a customer who was a latent racist (as indeed was his dog) and this was only discovered by my initially jovial Carribean installation engineer - when both of them attacked him; the man verbally and the dog physically. All in a day's work I guess.

And yes, I always did my own debt collecting. Why contract it out when you can do it yourself? Right? Lawyers? That's for the other person!

[Marco]

VERY rich people do not carry cash. Well, not usually £25k's worth. Might be different culturally different in your business though.

No, it's exactly the same in my business, too, although I've only very rarely dealt with footballers and such like. I do have some wealthy clients, though.

When I said "cash payment", what I really meant was 'cleared funds' in any shape or form - i.e. whichever way they pay, your money is secure in advance of them receiving any goods.

I'm sure that process would work with some of them, or if not, like I said you're no worse off. If it does work though you could make some very nice sales

Interesting stories, though, so thanks for sharing. I just love dealing with the public sometimes (not)!

Marco.

[Filterlab]

...A sure fire way was to tell them straight out that I always charge a 20% premium for celebrities...

LOL! Fantastic.

[Spectral Morn]

Hi Guys

Over the years I have had dealings with the rich and famous, with no issues from the famous. Tv people, radio people , DJ's, Musicians and the sons of Lords have been great. However the rich ( non-famous) don't get me started, it is a number of these people and their refusal to pay at all, further deposits and balances (mainly in the area of multi room ) are responsible for creating the cash flow issues that led to me being made redundant( the downturn in building was also a factor ). This sort of crap is unforgivable and this sort of crap should be rooted out. Only problem is you might go bust in trying to get your money. Imagine walking into Tesco's and pushing the trolley out without paying,errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I hate this sort of thing. If a workman is worth his pay then pay him and promptly.

Regards D S D L ----- Neil

[DSJR]

The effort was devoted to getting them to go to some other hapless retailer. In the Camden Town days, I'd direct them to KJ Leisuresound. Jim Dovey [a very decent chap] was far better at dealing with the neurotic and potentially hysterical than I was.

Jim Dovey never dealt with clients, as he was ensconced in his inner sanctum "downstairs;" the likes of me did and we knew you rather well I say no more as it was around THIRTY YEARS AGO.........

Seriously though, I can't believe how things have changed in the intervening period. At KJ, we had some lovely well off clients, who were charming, never asked for discounts and never gave us hassle. When I went to work in the "A6" corridor not far from London, the snooty, condescending clients in the town (sorry, village) were unbelievable, although we sold a top line B&O system to a footballer who paid up without question. My years there gave me a complex about acquired money, such people and the homes and areas they live in. All the "old money" in the town tended to keep it in the bank or wherever and never spent huge amounts...