A passenger plane travelling from Sydney to California is suddenly hit with a severe engine problem and plummets into the Pacific Ocean.

The impact is such that the plane is ripped apart leaving few survivors. After hours of swimming Bruce spies an island and drags himself up onto the sandy shores.

Though he is half drowned, injured and aware that he is thousands of miles from home, he cannot but admire the beauty of the island he has found himself on.

Looking down the beach he sees a figure lying in the surf….. another survivor from the crash. He runs over and sees that she is not breathing, so quickly he gives her the kiss of life. After several attempts she coughs into life.

Then she wipes the hair from her face he now can see who it is...its Kylie Minogue!

Forever grateful to him for saving her life, they strike up an immediate bond, and over the following weeks, while stranded on the island, they fall madly in love.

One day Kylie is walking down the beach and notices her new found love sitting on the rocks by the beach, staring out to sea, with a look of sorrow on his face. She wanders over to him, and asks what is wrong. "Kylie," he says, "The last few weeks have been the greatest of my life. We've found this island paradise. We have all the food and water we could require, and I have you, but still I can't help feeling there's something missing."

Kylie replies: "What Bruce, my darling? What is it that you need? I'll do anything I can to help your life be complete".

"Weeeell.......... there is one thing. Would you mind putting on my shirt?"
"OK"
"And my trousers?"
"………………errrrr………..OK"

At this point he gets up and grabs some charcoal from the last night’s fire, and draws a neat moustache on her lips. "OK... That's it, it looks perfect. Now can you start to walk around the island, and I'll set off the other way and meet you half way."

"………..errrrrrrrrrr………..OK dear………………. if you’re sure it will make you happy"

So off they set. After an hour walking he eventually sees her in the distance, heading towards him along the beach, at which point he breaks into a sprint, runs up to her, grabs her by the shoulders and shouts:

"G’day mate….. you'll never believe who I'm shagging”