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Yes - simply brilliant. The librarian certainly knows their books.
Clever. :)
https://i.ibb.co/Th5YC5z/FB-IMG-1587667310745.jpg
Works better if the image is smaller......
Haha - I took me a moment or two before I got it.
I'm no use at optical illusions. All I see is cats
Excellent !!!! Is that Marco's Mrs ?Quote:
Originally Posted by mr sneff
Love it, at least it has a decent size speaker!
I've heard that since sporting events have been cancelled they are televising the World Origami championships. It's on paper view.
It'll soon fold......
I see ive missed some beauties there keep em coming.
This made me laugh more than it should! Perhaps Lock Down is getting to me more than I thought!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5N4mGP8zng
:lol: No, it is a good 'un, had it on my phone for a while, sent it to everyoneQuote:
Originally Posted by Alex_UK
terrible:rolleyes:
:D
Excellent !! :D:D
Brilliant!Quote:
Originally Posted by Barry
This https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-LTRwZb35A is brilliant too!
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
***
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
***
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
***
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
***
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
***
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
***
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
***
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
***
P: IFF inoperative on OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
***
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
***
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
***
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
***
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
***
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
***
And the best one for last:
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
Haha good one
Love it Ali.
:lol:
Yeah I liked it. :lol:
While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with a very beautiful woman who asked, "Are you okay?
As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low-cut blouse with a cleavage to die for.
"I'm okay I think." I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look.
She said, "Get in and I'll take you home, so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head."
"That's nice of you," I answered, "But I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated, "I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just few miles away and, after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said, "I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset so I'd better go now."
Don't be silly!" she said with a smile. "Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"My guess is that she's still in the ditch."
Michael Gove needed some good news on the Andrew Marr show. Someone said that some Turkish gowns were available and his eyes lit up with delight.
Some complaints to the Council.
My bush is really overgrown round the front & my back passage has fungus growing in it.
It's the dog mess I find hard to swallow.
I want some repairs done to my cooker as it back fired and burnt my knob of.
Their 18 yr old is continually banging his balls against my fence.
More complaints to the Council.
I wish to complain that my farther hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
I request to remove my draws in the kitchen.
The toilet is blocked and we cannot have a bathe until it is unblocked.
50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster & 50% are plain filthy.
I'm still having problems with smoke in my new draws
:lol:
These rules already in place on most council estates.
:lol:
:rfl:
cant help thinking dog would of preffered being in a better quality lager box even if it looses the pun.
Could do i think my dog caught corona (ah mebbe not they stopped making it)
Smurf Sex.
* This kind of sex happens when you first meet
someone and you both have sex until you are
blue in the face.
Kitchen Sex.
* This is when you have been with your partner
for a short time and you are so needy you will
have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
Bedroom Sex.
* This is when you have been with your partner
for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and
you usually have sex only in your bedroom.
Hallway Sex.
* This is when you have been with your partner
for too long. When you pass each other in the
Hallway you both say 'screw you.'
Religious Sex.
* Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun
in the afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)
Courtroom Sex.
* This is when you cannot stand your wife any
more. She takes you to court and screws you
in front of everyone.
And last, but not least,
Canada Pension Sex.
* You get a little each month,
but not enough to enjoy yourself.
Posh people keep their potatoes in sex.
:D
Like it David.:lol:
:rfl:
Aarrr[emoji1787]https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...6735006d79.jpg
Sent from my SM-G975F using Tapatalk
:lol:
A young couple took their young son to the doctor.
With some hesitation, they explained that, although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis.
After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem."
The next morning, when the boy arrived at breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table.
"Gee, mom," he exclaimed. "For me?"
"Just take two," his mother replied. "The rest are for your father."
I'm really angry! This morning a huge German Shepherd did a huge poo on my front lawn...
To make matters worse, he brought his dog!