Jokes & Funnies

Not exactly a joke but it did make me laugh

[IMG]http://i63.tinypic.com/igl2k0.jpg[/IMG]

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Originally Posted by Mike Reed

I like that.

I went to my local G.P. and after initial tests, she told me that I'd have to stop masturbating. When I asked why, she said " because I'm trying to examine you".

Used to have a successful racing snail, so to reduce weight for even more speed, I took its shell off. Didn't work, though; simply made him more sluggish.

Bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer last week. No idea what he'd done to them but I was tripping all day.

I told my girlfriend that she drew her eyebrows far too high. She looked surprised.

Conjuctivitis.com really is a site for sore eyes.

It has now been discovered that the two grave-diggers who had been seen wandering aimlessly around the cemetery for hours in south Devon had simply lost the plot.

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I lost it on the medical exam! Took me 15 minutes to catch my breath!

Russell

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Originally Posted by Ian7633

Not exactly a joke but it did make me laugh

http://i63.tinypic.com/igl2k0.jpg

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Oh - that's rather good. I like it.

Don't get the joke especially, of course Ive never heard of her/him/it so that may be crucial

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Originally Posted by struth

Don't get the joke especially, of course Ive never heard of her/him/it so that may be crucial

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The "it" referred to the joke.

Re Kanye West: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanye_West Married to Kim Kardashian - but then you probably haven't heard of her either. :)

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Originally Posted by Barry

The "it" referred to the joke.

Re Kanye West: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kanye_West Married to Kim Kardashian - but then you probably haven't heard of her either. :)

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Nope sorry.

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Originally Posted by struth

Nope sorry.

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No worries - you haven't missed anything!

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Originally Posted by Barry

No worries - you haven't missed anything!

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Don't watch tv so probably why. I gather he's a rapper and she's a slapper

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Originally Posted by struth

he's a rapper and she's a slapper

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:lol: & you're a poet Grant

Quote:

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Originally Posted by struth

Don't get the joke especially, of course Ive never heard of her/him/it so that may be crucial

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I empathise with you ! The name is vaguely familiar, but could be a footballer for all I know/care.


For a change, I ate three tins of alphabet soup for dinner last evening. Wish I hadn't, though, as it caused a massive vowel movement this morning.

I do wish I'd bought my baked beans on line, but Heinz' site is a wonderful thing.

Had a dodgy curry at my local last night and ended up paying for it with violent diarrhoea. With hindsight, I think the chap on the till would have preferred cash.

I have a weird audiophile friend who can only sleep comfortably on stacks of magazines. To be fair, though, he does have a lot of back issues.

A rich business friend of Sean Connery tried to buy some of his oil rights from him, but was told that they weren't for shale.