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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #821
    Join Date: Jan 2009

    Location: Essex

    Posts: 37,689
    I'm openingabottleofwine.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Grand Wazoo View Post
    We had a power cut this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & hifi were all shut down.

    Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and what's more, it was raining outside, so I couldn't even go and play golf.

    I went into the kitchen to make some coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I sat and talked with my wife for a few hours.

    And do you know what? She actually seems like a nice person
    You never struck me as a golf player Chris - but then what do I know!
    Barry

  2. #822
    Join Date: May 2008

    Location: Lancaster(-ish), UK

    Posts: 16,936
    I'm ChrisB.

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    Hah!
    No, and nor do I own an ipad or iphone, I'm not bothered by rain, and what's more I've always known my wife is a nice person!

  3. #823
    Join Date: Apr 2011

    Location: Surrey

    Posts: 4,157
    I'm Mike.

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Grand Wazoo View Post
    Hah!
    No, and nor do I own an ipad or iphone, I'm not bothered by rain, and what's more I've always known my wife is a nice person!
    Wait till you meet her again
    TAD CD / DAC / Pre, Technics 1210, MCRU PSU, Mike New Bearing & Platter, Stillpoints LP1 weight, Speedy Steve Ebony armboard, Fidelity Research FR64FX arm, Ortofon SPU. Aurorasound VIDA Phono Pre Amp, TAD Power Amp, TAD E1 speakers. Coherent RTZ 3 Grounding box, Coherent grounding cables, Creaktiv racks. Coherent Mains Cables. SR Blue Fuse. Interconnects : Coherent and Yannis 223.5 Connect Litz. Coherent speaker cable. Audio Magic Transcendence Conditioner. Coherent mains socket. Mains Filters : , PS Audio Harvesters, Russ Andrews Purifiers, Tacima, Vertex. Black Ravioli and RDC supports. Electric Beach S1NX platforms for TAD CD and Technics. Ferrite chokes everywhere except the above. Ears, brain

    Mike

  4. #824
    Join Date: Oct 2013

    Location: Hartlepool

    Posts: 325
    I'm Martin.

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    Q. How does one get a fat girl into bed?

    A. Piece o' cake
    Last edited by Hudz; 01-04-2014 at 22:47.

  5. #825
    Join Date: Apr 2011

    Location: Surrey

    Posts: 4,157
    I'm Mike.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Hudz View Post
    Q. How does one get a fat girl into bed?

    A.Piece o' cake
    TAD CD / DAC / Pre, Technics 1210, MCRU PSU, Mike New Bearing & Platter, Stillpoints LP1 weight, Speedy Steve Ebony armboard, Fidelity Research FR64FX arm, Ortofon SPU. Aurorasound VIDA Phono Pre Amp, TAD Power Amp, TAD E1 speakers. Coherent RTZ 3 Grounding box, Coherent grounding cables, Creaktiv racks. Coherent Mains Cables. SR Blue Fuse. Interconnects : Coherent and Yannis 223.5 Connect Litz. Coherent speaker cable. Audio Magic Transcendence Conditioner. Coherent mains socket. Mains Filters : , PS Audio Harvesters, Russ Andrews Purifiers, Tacima, Vertex. Black Ravioli and RDC supports. Electric Beach S1NX platforms for TAD CD and Technics. Ferrite chokes everywhere except the above. Ears, brain

    Mike

  6. #826
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Ayrshire

    Posts: 1,359
    I'm OneOfTheSevenModsWhoToldMarcoNotToLiftHarry'sBan.

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    ATB

    David

  7. #827
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Wrexham, North Wales, UK

    Posts: 110,448
    I'm AudioAl'sArbiterForPISHANTO.

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    Al, there's yer new avatar!

    Marco.
    Main System

    Turntable: Heavily-modified Technics SL-1210MK5G [Mike New bearing/ETP platter/Paul Hynes SR7 PSU & regulator mods]. Funk Firm APM Achromat with Nagaoka GL-601 Crystal Record Weight. Isonoe feet & boots. Ortofon RS-212D tonearm with Denon DL-103GL, in a Denon PCL-300 headshell, fitted with Funk Firm Houdini and Kondo SL-115 pure-silver cartridge leads.

    Paul Hynes MC head amp/SR5 PSU. Also modded Lentek head amp and Denon AU-310 SUT.

    Other Cartridges: Nippon Columbia (NOS 1987) Denon DL-103. USA-made Shure SC35C with NOS stylus. Goldring G820 with NOS stylus. Shure M55E with NOS stylus.

    CD Player: Audiocom-modified Sony X-777ES/DAS-R1 DAC.

    Tape Deck: Tandberg TCD 310, fully restored and recalibrated as new by RDE, plus upgraded with heads from the TCD-420a. Also with matching TM4 Norway microphones.

    Preamps: Heavily-modified Croft Charisma-X. Power Amps: Tube Distinctions Copper Amp, fitted with Tungsol KT-150s. Quad 306.

    Cables & Sundries: Mark Grant HDX1 interconnects and digital coaxial cable, plus Mark Grant 6mm UP-LCOFC Van Damme speaker cable. MCRU 'Ultimate' mains leads. Lehmann clone headphone amp with vintage Koss PRO-4AAA headphones.

    Tube Distinctions digital noise filter. VPI HW16.5 record cleaning machine.

    Speakers: Tannoy 15MGs in Lockwood cabinets with modified crossovers. 1967 Celestion Ditton 15.

  8. #828
    Join Date: Jun 2010

    Location: Southampton

    Posts: 1,623
    I'm drunk.


  9. #829
    Join Date: Apr 2011

    Location: Surrey

    Posts: 4,157
    I'm Mike.

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    TAD CD / DAC / Pre, Technics 1210, MCRU PSU, Mike New Bearing & Platter, Stillpoints LP1 weight, Speedy Steve Ebony armboard, Fidelity Research FR64FX arm, Ortofon SPU. Aurorasound VIDA Phono Pre Amp, TAD Power Amp, TAD E1 speakers. Coherent RTZ 3 Grounding box, Coherent grounding cables, Creaktiv racks. Coherent Mains Cables. SR Blue Fuse. Interconnects : Coherent and Yannis 223.5 Connect Litz. Coherent speaker cable. Audio Magic Transcendence Conditioner. Coherent mains socket. Mains Filters : , PS Audio Harvesters, Russ Andrews Purifiers, Tacima, Vertex. Black Ravioli and RDC supports. Electric Beach S1NX platforms for TAD CD and Technics. Ferrite chokes everywhere except the above. Ears, brain

    Mike

  10. #830
    Join Date: Jun 2010

    Location: Southampton

    Posts: 1,623
    I'm drunk.

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    Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken wall at 10 Downing Street. One from London, another from Bristol and the third, Liverpool.

    They go with a government official to examine the wall.

    The London contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

    'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about £900: £400 for materials, £400 for my crew and £100 profit for me.'

    The Bristol contractor also does some measuring and figuring, and then says, 'I can do this job for £700: £300 for materials, £300 for my crew and £100 profit for me.'

    The Liverpool contractor doesn't measure or do figures but leans over to the Government official and whispers, "£2,700"

    The official, incredulous, says, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'

    The Liverpool contractor whispers back, '£1000 for me, £1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Bristol to fix the wall.'

    'Done!' replies the government official.

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