Jokes & Funnies

[Dominic Harper]

Actually I was thinking what if there is no sister Then I stopped myself from thinking about the mother

Sorry Natalie, good job I'm free & single innit

Mark your sicker than I am lololololol

BTW, I watched Tiesto live on sky HD music one night lat week. Absolutly superb

Natalie

[DaveK]

Fancy a bit of variety in the bedroom?
Try the rodeo.
Adopt the doggy position,cup a breast in each hand,whisper in her ear"These feel just like your sisters".
If you can stay on for eight seconds or longer your doing well.

If you change the word 'sister's' for 'brother's' I understand the record is 5 seconds
Dave

[snuffbox]

On Valentines Day you'ld think a women would want to be woken up with a card roses cup of tea and a serious session of cunnilingus?

But Oh No............not my mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[morris_minor]

[Dominic Harper]

On Valentines Day you'ld think a women would want to be woken up with a card roses cup of tea and a serious session of cunnilingus?

But Oh No............not my mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG! THAT IS SO SICK

Natalie

[Barry]

On Valentines Day you'ld think a women would want to be woken up with a card roses cup of tea and a serious session of cunnilingus?

But Oh No............not my mother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paul, aren't you confusing Valentine's Day with Mothering Sunday?

The way things are going, our jokes page is becoming as 'blue' as that of Hi Fi Wigwam!

I used to think the 'laddish' humour might be offensive to our female members, but it would seem AoS's resident Agony Aunt doesn't mind (too much)!

[Artifolk]

At the Library today i learned that i could have my Penis enlarged. At that moment however i was kicked out for inappropriate use of the photocopier.

[snuffbox]

[Artifolk]

I'll never forget how happy i was when i saw the missus walking down the aisle towards me.
My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable.
It seemed to take an age but eventually there see was, stood beside me.
I gave her a cheek wink and said... "Get the trolley ere love, they're doing three cases of Stella for the price of two"

[snuffbox]

A guy, a sheep, and a dog are the survivors of a terrible shipwreck, and they find themselves stranded on a desert island. After being there awhile, they get into a ritual of going to the beach every evening to watch the sun go down. One particular evening the sky was red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle – a perfect night for romance!

Well, soon that sheep started looking better and better to the guy, and after all it had been a long time since he'd had any sex... so he leaned toward the sheep and put his arm around it. The dog though, became jealous and growled fiercely at the guy, until he removed his arm from the sheep. Every time he tried to approach the sheep, the dog would start growling again. So he resigned himself and they continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but no more cuddling.

A few weeks passed by, and lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was a beautiful young woman. She was in a pretty bad way when they rescued her but they slowly nursed her back to good health.

When she was feeling strong enough, they decided to introduce her to their evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening, red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm gentle breeze; perfect for a night of romance.

Unsurprisingly under the circumstances, the guy started feeling really horny again; but he was desperately worried about how the dog would react. So he came up with a cunning plan.

He leaned toward the girl and and whispered in her ear...
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“If you're up to it, would you fancy taking the dog for a walk?”
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