Car (or bike) Chat!

[Marco]

Yeah but now you live all the way down there in That London, so I should be safe I would include cockneys in my list of marauders, but they tend to be a lazy bunch who don't think there's anything worth marauding further north than Watford

I like proper cockneys, as they're usually down to earth dudes, just like Scousers, Mancs, Geordies and Glaswegians. The 'southerners' I dislike are the snooty bastards from the 'home counties', and who look down their noses at everyone else...

I've always said that come the peoples' revolution and/or Scottish independence, the Scots should welcome the above into their fold, including everyone else in the north or England, and leave the rest of the fuckers 'darn sarf' to continue being ruled by Boris and the other chinless wonders in Westmonster [typo deliberate], as that's all they deserve!

Marco.

[Pigmy Pony]

I like proper cockneys, as they're usually down to earth dudes, just like Scousers, Mancs, Geordies and Glaswegians. The 'southerners' I dislike are the snooty bastards from the 'home counties', and who look down their noses at everyone else...

I've always said that come the peoples' revolution and/or Scottish independence, the Scots should welcome the above into their fold, including everyone else in the north or England, and leave the rest of the fuckers 'darn sarf' to continue being ruled by Boris and the other chinless wonders in Westmonster [typo deliberate], as that's all they deserve!

Marco.

Absolutely. I know i'm taking the mickey a bit, but I completely agree about the cockneys, scousers etc. You forgot to include the Brummies though, you need them for comedy value, but they must sound like Barry from Auf Wiedersen Pet

[Marco]

Yeah, they can come, too!

Marco.

[Gaz]

Anybody remember a few years ago when a Whale swam up the Thames?

I was shocked and amazed at the unprecedented spectacle on the news

Londoners were actually admitting that they'd never seen something before. (obviously very loudly)

[Pigmy Pony]

Anybody remember a few years ago when a Whale swam up the Thames?

I was shocked and amazed at the unprecedented spectacle on the news

Londoners were actually admitting that they'd never seen something before. (obviously very loudly)

They may be shocked and amazed to hear that I have never seen jellied eels.

A bit like the good people of Hartlepool hanging a monkey, believing it to be a French spy

[Barry]

Returning to charity shops:

I'm often taking CDs and books to them, they are always greatfully received (except Oxfam, whom I will never use again), yet never appear for sale . This is because it is general policy for donations to be sent to a different branch to avoid the embarassment of seeing unwanted gifts for sale, or seeing a donation which was regarded as being quite valuable, being sold for a couple of quid or two.

Regarding lazy buggers who just put things out for collection, rather than take them to a charity shop, well in London that is a common practice and the quality of the stuff thrown out has to be seen to be believed. I have seen pefectly working 37" flat screen TVs, Miele vacuum cleaners, steam irons, food mixers and portable laptop DVD players turfed out despite being in near perfect condition!

And regarding white goods put out with a label saying "free for collection", and being ignored - well that is because it's not obvious they are still working. If you want to put something out for free for collection, just say "working and free for collection".

[Marco]

Yes it's only Steve's cack they don't want!

Last time he tried to palm them off with a couple of pairs of what he assured staff were only 'lightly soiled' Y-fronts, whereupon closer inspection revealed gussets tainted by more ingrained skid-marks than those commonly found on the outside lane of the M1.....

Marco.

[Beobloke]

On the subject of disposal, I always remember with a smile the twice-yearly clear out we used to have at Audio Partnership. Obviously we used to have lots of samples of new Mordaunt Short, Cambridge Audio, Gale, TDL etc. units from the factory in China that we used for tuning, evaluation and QC. We also used to occasionally buy competitors' products for benchmarking.

When all of these these were finished with, anything usable would be offered for sale to staff and some given away to charity but the stuff that had no value and could not be repaired, or really wasn't worth the hassle, went in a skip that we would hire once every six to eight months. It would arrive one day and be left on the road outside AP headquarters (about half a mile from London Bridge) we would fill it, and it would be collected the next day.

However, I can pretty much guarantee that when we arrived at work on the second day, the skip would be damn near empty!

(and have at least one mattress in it...)

[Pigmy Pony]

Hey, they were getting my grundies for free, I don't see why I should have to wash them too - my ownership ended the minute I peeled them off my clagnut-coated nether regions!

I think my "cack" books were too highbrow for them - they did mention that some guy regularly came into their Wrexham branch with books that had pictures in them, and once they'd tippexed out the willy drawings they were good as new, have I nothing like that?

This is the trouble with living in a posh part of a cack town, I'm widely misunderstood

[Pigmy Pony]

Me and Mrs.Pony went into the local Toyota dealership yesterday, she wanted a proper look at the C-HR. They had one in the showroom, a "2020" model, which won't even be available until January, She sat in it, loved the seat, driving position and was impressed with all the gadgets: "Ooh, it's got heated seats! And it's automatic! And cameras! And it's what? 180bhp? That should be plenty! How much is it? £32,000? Well we're not getting that anytime soon".

They're buggers aren't they - show you want you want, then make it unaffordable It hasn't put her off though, it'll just take a while. Or a lottery win.