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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #981
    Join Date: Jul 2014

    Location: Shropshire

    Posts: 2,433
    I'm Anto.

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    Very good Grant

    A 90 odd yr old man accused of groping???

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/n...ualt/81689368/

    It gets funnier the more you read on
    I only ride 'em, I don't know what makes 'em work

  2. #982
    Join Date: Feb 2011

    Location: Ramsbottom

    Posts: 637
    I'm Alan.

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    The missus atacked me with the vacuum cleaner last night, I said " hey, you're Dyson with death there"

    it's not the first time, a guy attacked me with a razor once...................... good job it wasn't plugged in.
    My system,

    Cartridges Lyra Delos, Audio Technica AT33EVmc, AT 24 mm
    Turntable Thorens TD 124 Mk2, in a Jim Campbel plinth,Audio Technica 1503 Mk3 arm
    CD player Technics SL-PG490
    Cassette deck Yamaha KX 530
    Moving Coil Amp Albarry MCA 11
    Pre-amplifier Albarry AP 11 (battery powered)
    Power amps Albarry M1108 Mono-blocs
    Speakers Allison 3 Corner units, Allison 6 stand mounted cubes
    Interconnects AVT Matrix 6 and OFC short ones
    Mains distribution Music Works Recoil 6 gang and mains leads
    Tables MusicWorks ReVo acrylic stand, Quadraspire Acrylic shelves (cryo'd legs) acrylic Response Mini under mains block.
    Speaker cable Chord Rumour (Cryo'd)
    RCM Okki Nokki
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/1586...homepage_panel

  3. #983
    Join Date: Nov 2013

    Location: Powys

    Posts: 1,225
    I'm David.

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  4. #984
    Join Date: Nov 2013

    Location: Powys

    Posts: 1,225
    I'm David.

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  5. #985
    Join Date: Feb 2013

    Location: W Lothian

    Posts: 98,920
    I'm Grant.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mr sneff View Post
    lol.... nice one David
    Regards,
    Grant .... ؠ ......Don't be such a big girl's blouse

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply-doesn't-work
    .... ..... ...... ...... ................... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....
    FIIO K7 BT, M11 PLUS, BTR7, KA5 - OPPO BDP-103D - PANASONIC UB450 - PANASONIC 4K ULTRA HD TV - PIXEL 6 - AVANTREE LR BLUETOOTH - 2* X600 SOUNDCORE - HEADPHONES INCLUDE, FIIO, NURAPHONES', FOCAL, OPPO, BOSE, CAMBRIDGE, BOWER & WILKINS, DEVIALET, MARSHALL, SONY, MITCHELL & JOHNSTON - 2*ZBOOK'S- MERCURY BD ROM, ROON, QOBUZ, TIDAL, PLEX, CYBERLINK, JRIVER - MULTI HDD'S -

    Oh my god! There's nothing wrong with the bidet is there?

    “Nothing discloses real character like the use of power. It is easy for the weak to be gentle. Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power. This is the supreme test. It is the glory of Lincoln that, having almost absolute power, he never abused it, except on the side of mercy".

    “You see these dictators on their pedestals, surrounded by the bayonets of their soldiers and the truncheons of their police ... yet in their hearts there is unspoken fear. They are afraid of words and thoughts: words spoken abroad, thoughts stirring at home -- all the more powerful because forbidden -- terrify them. A little mouse of thought appears in the room, and even the mightiest potentates are thrown into panic.”

    "You don't have free will. You have the appearance of free will.”

    “There's a war out there, old friend. A world war. And it's not about who's got the most bullets. It's about who controls the information. What we see and hear, how we work, what we think... it's all about the information!”


    ***SMILE, BE HAPPY***

  6. #986
    Join Date: Nov 2014

    Location: Caterham,Surrey

    Posts: 68
    I'm Stewart.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Oddball View Post
    Very good Grant

    A 90 odd yr old man accused of groping???

    http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/n...ualt/81689368/

    It gets funnier the more you read on


    Reminds me of the story of another old man accused of harassing the females in an old peoples home.
    He was taken to the senior managers office to explain himself & the manager said 'You do realise that Mrs Jones is 83 years old & has acute angina!'

    He replied with a grin on his face, 'You're telling me!!'

  7. #987
    Join Date: Jul 2014

    Location: Shropshire

    Posts: 2,433
    I'm Anto.

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    Mind out when you drive that mower

    https://www.facebook.com/PFCMagazine/
    I only ride 'em, I don't know what makes 'em work

  8. #988
    Join Date: Nov 2011

    Location: Newcastle UK

    Posts: 3,749
    I'm Rich.

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    Top tip - Recreate the experience of a self catering foreign holiday by visiting a branch of Lidl in another town on a warm day.
    One of these days... I'm going to cut you into little pieces.

  9. #989
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Wrexham, North Wales, UK

    Posts: 110,465
    I'm AudioAl'sArbiterForPISHANTO.

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    Ha - like it... You can be anywhere you want in Europe, inside Lidl, as every branch looks the same!

    Fancy a trip to Italy? Go to Lidl in Italian week, or a 'Weekend in Paris'? Then go there in French week, buy a baguette and sit in the car park....... Job done - just think of the money you'd save!!

    Marco.
    Main System

    Turntable: Heavily-modified Technics SL-1210MK5G [Mike New bearing/ETP platter/Paul Hynes SR7 PSU & regulator mods]. Funk Firm APM Achromat with Nagaoka GL-601 Crystal Record Weight. Isonoe feet & boots. Ortofon RS-212D tonearm with Denon DL-103GL, in a Denon PCL-300 headshell, fitted with Funk Firm Houdini and Kondo SL-115 pure-silver cartridge leads.

    Paul Hynes MC head amp/SR5 PSU. Also modded Lentek head amp and Denon AU-310 SUT.

    Other Cartridges: Nippon Columbia (NOS 1987) Denon DL-103. USA-made Shure SC35C with NOS stylus. Goldring G820 with NOS stylus. Shure M55E with NOS stylus.

    CD Player: Audiocom-modified Sony X-777ES/DAS-R1 DAC.

    Tape Deck: Tandberg TCD 310, fully restored and recalibrated as new by RDE, plus upgraded with heads from the TCD-420a. Also with matching TM4 Norway microphones.

    Preamps: Heavily-modified Croft Charisma-X. Power Amps: Tube Distinctions Copper Amp, fitted with Tungsol KT-150s. Quad 306.

    Cables & Sundries: Mark Grant HDX1 interconnects and digital coaxial cable, plus Mark Grant 6mm UP-LCOFC Van Damme speaker cable. MCRU 'Ultimate' mains leads. Lehmann clone headphone amp with vintage Koss PRO-4AAA headphones.

    Tube Distinctions digital noise filter. VPI HW16.5 record cleaning machine.

    Speakers: Tannoy 15MGs in Lockwood cabinets with modified crossovers. 1967 Celestion Ditton 15.

  10. #990
    Join Date: Nov 2011

    Location: Newcastle UK

    Posts: 3,749
    I'm Rich.

    Default

    Came home last night to find my wife had left a note by the hifi saying "it's not working, I've had enough and I'm leaving".

    So I put on an LP, turned the volume up and it sounded perfect.

    What the hell is she talking about?
    One of these days... I'm going to cut you into little pieces.

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