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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1581
    Join Date: Apr 2013

    Location: Easington Lane

    Posts: 4,656
    I'm Vince.

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    Who's the worlds greatest athlete. The guy who finishes 1st and 3rd in a wanking contest.

  2. #1582
    Join Date: May 2016

    Location: Milton Keynes

    Posts: 3,703
    I'm Andrew.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Audio Al View Post
    1587387604453 by , on Flickr
    Love it


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  3. #1583
    Join Date: Apr 2011

    Location: London

    Posts: 4,411
    I'm Robert.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Vince View Post
    Who's the worlds greatest athlete. The guy who finishes 1st and 3rd in a wanking contest.
    Judging by Diane's face, she just heard ya joke Vince .....
    My System:
    Amplification - Sansui AU-alpha 707 DR
    Turntable - Technics SP10 MK2-Technics EPA-250 Tonearm-Yannis Tome 423.5Plus tonearm cable-Eichmann KLEI Absolute Harmony plugs.
    Ortofon Cadenza Black moving coil cartridge-Fritz Gyger S re-tip. Panzerholz plinth.

    CDP - Pioneer PD-91
    Speakers - Spendor D7 on Soundcare SuperSpikes
    QED Silver Spiral speaker cable-airloc banana plugs
    Mains - Ultra Pure silver plated un-switched socket-Missing link EPS 500 silver plated plugs-Hi-Fi Tuning gold plated silver ceramic 13 amp fuses

  4. #1584
    Join Date: Apr 2013

    Location: Easington Lane

    Posts: 4,656
    I'm Vince.

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    What's the last thing that goes through a flys mind when it hits a windscreen?
    It's arse!

  5. #1585
    Join Date: Apr 2013

    Location: Easington Lane

    Posts: 4,656
    I'm Vince.

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    A man was in A & E explaining to the doctor what had happened.
    'I fitted a mirror to our bedroom ceiling, but it came down whilst we were shagging'.
    The doctor asked, 'who was on top'
    'She was' he says.
    'I see' said the doctor. 'She has several cuts to her head, back and legs, but how did she end up dislocating her jaw'?
    'Nobody criticizes my DIY'.

    Th

  6. #1586
    Join Date: Apr 2013

    Location: Easington Lane

    Posts: 4,656
    I'm Vince.

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    I saw a poor old lady fall fall unconscious in the snow today. Well, I assume she was poor, she only had 24 pence in her purse.

  7. #1587
    Join Date: Apr 2013

    Location: Easington Lane

    Posts: 4,656
    I'm Vince.

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    Did you hear about the terrible crash at Spaghetti Junction. 12 people were injured, 3 pasta way.

  8. #1588
    Join Date: Apr 2013

    Location: Easington Lane

    Posts: 4,656
    I'm Vince.

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    How do accountants liven up their office parties?
    They invite an Undertaker.

  9. #1589
    Join Date: Apr 2013

    Location: Easington Lane

    Posts: 4,656
    I'm Vince.

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    A man walks up to a stunning girl at a party and says, 'Hi, the names Bond'
    'Let me guess, James Bond' replies the girl.
    'No,' he says.......'Unibond....I'm here to fill your crack.'

  10. #1590
    Join Date: Apr 2013

    Location: Easington Lane

    Posts: 4,656
    I'm Vince.

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    A woman goes yo the doctors and says,' Doctor I've got an bit of an embarrassing problem. I'll have to take my clothes off to show you.'
    She disrobes behind the screen and the Doctor goes to have a look.
    'Well, what's the problem he asks'
    'There are 2 green circles that have appeared on the inside of my thighs.'
    The doctor examines her and asks, 'have you been having an affair with a Gypsy lately?'
    The woman blushes and replies, 'well, er, yes I have'.
    'Ah,' the doctor says, 'that's the problem, tell him his earrings aren't made of gold'!

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