Jokes & Funnies

[mr sneff]

[Scorps]

What's 50 feet long and has 8 teeth? The queue outside Burnley Asda

n me being a burnley fan as well lol

[Pigmy Pony]

n me being a burnley fan as well lol

Would I be digging a deeper hole if I change it to Padiham? Granddaughter's mother lives there, she seems to have a full complement of gnashers, but I suspect it's just home made dentures from teeth she's found

[mr sneff]

My recent attempt to combine nitrous oxide and Oxo cubes has made me a laughing stock.

[Scorps]

no link to padiham u safe on that

on diff note i miss zoo magazine jokes page

there's a a scientific explanation as to why cows have hooves: it's because they lactose

[Scorps]

The inventor of anti-virus software has been charged with muder.
They expect the trial to last 30 days.

[Scorps]

Jokes were taken from a 2015 edition which included this nugget.

[Scorps]

Also mentioned

[IMG][/IMG]

[Audio Al]

98F211B7-C558-4A71-9DD2-E81A67CA570B.jpeg.a87b1352f4efa330031f62c69112e472 by , on Flickr

[Audio Al]

A farmer orders an expensive milking machine. He decides to test it on himself first, so he inserts his manhood into the equipment and turns on the switch.

Soon he realizes that the equipment provides him with more pleasure than his wife does. But when the fun is over, he realizes that he cannot remove the instrument from his tool, anxiously he reads the manual, but does not find any useful information.

He tries every button on the instrument, without success. Finally the farmerdecides to call the customer hotline. "Hello, I just bought a milking cow machine from your company, it works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"
"Don't worry sir", replies the customer service person, "the machine will release automatically once it has collected two litres!"