Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus asks for a table for 26.
The head waiter says, “But there’s only 13 of you.”
Jesus says, “Yeah, we’re all going to sit on the same side.”
Senior Member
Location: Powys
Posts: 1,225
I'm David.
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus asks for a table for 26.
The head waiter says, “But there’s only 13 of you.”
Jesus says, “Yeah, we’re all going to sit on the same side.”
Trade: Magazine Journalist
Location: Hampshire, UK
Posts: 3,687
I'm Adam.
I’m a bit worried today as I can’t stop singing Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin songs.
I think I may have Croonervirus.
Engineers: fixing problems you didn't know you had in ways you don't understand.
Pishanto Specialist & Super-Daftee
Location: Dagenham Essex
Posts: 11,184
I'm Allen.
Originally Posted by Beobloke
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Senior Member
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 2,433
I'm Anto.
Doing my weekly shop in morrisons today. I was horrified to find they had no toilet paper at all.
Reluctantly I headed for the checkout and asked if they had any. A firm NO was the answer.
Walking back to the toilets with my pants and trousers around my ankles was a walk of shame........
I only ride 'em, I don't know what makes 'em work
Senior Member
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 2,433
I'm Anto.
During my check up I asked my doctor 'Do you think I will live a long and healthy life then?'
He replied 'I doubt it somehow - Mercury is in Uranus right now'.
I said 'I don't go in for any of that astrology nonsense'.
He replied ' neither do I but my thermometer just broke'.........
I only ride 'em, I don't know what makes 'em work
Super Moderator
Location: W Lothian
Posts: 98,920
I'm Grant.
old ones are the best ones
Regards,
Grant.... ؠ ......Don't be such a big girl's blouse
I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply-doesn't-work.... ..... ...... ...... ................... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....
FIIO K7 BT, M11 PLUS, BTR7, KA5 - OPPO BDP-103D - PANASONIC UB450 - PANASONIC 4K ULTRA HD TV - PIXEL 6 - AVANTREE LR BLUETOOTH - 2* X600 SOUNDCORE - HEADPHONES INCLUDE, FIIO, NURAPHONES', FOCAL, OPPO, BOSE, CAMBRIDGE, BOWER & WILKINS, DEVIALET, MARSHALL, SONY, MITCHELL & JOHNSTON - 2*ZBOOK'S- MERCURY BD ROM, ROON, QOBUZ, TIDAL, PLEX, CYBERLINK, JRIVER - MULTI HDD'S -
Oh my god! There's nothing wrong with the bidet is there?
“Nothing discloses real character like the use of power. It is easy for the weak to be gentle. Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power. This is the supreme test. It is the glory of Lincoln that, having almost absolute power, he never abused it, except on the side of mercy".
“You see these dictators on their pedestals, surrounded by the bayonets of their soldiers and the truncheons of their police ... yet in their hearts there is unspoken fear. They are afraid of words and thoughts: words spoken abroad, thoughts stirring at home -- all the more powerful because forbidden -- terrify them. A little mouse of thought appears in the room, and even the mightiest potentates are thrown into panic.”
"You don't have free will. You have the appearance of free will.”
“There's a war out there, old friend. A world war. And it's not about who's got the most bullets. It's about who controls the information. What we see and hear, how we work, what we think... it's all about the information!”
***SMILE, BE HAPPY***
Trade: Magazine Journalist
Location: Hampshire, UK
Posts: 3,687
I'm Adam.
I’ve just checked my bank account and all my money is now in Swedish currency.
I think I’ve got Kronervirus.
Engineers: fixing problems you didn't know you had in ways you don't understand.
Moderator & Terminator!
Location: N E Kent
Posts: 51,608
I'm Geoff.
So my wife tells me. I remain unconvinced.old ones are the best ones
It is impossible for anything digital to sound analogue, because it isn't analogue!
Senior Member
Location: Kent UK
Posts: 406
I'm Martin.
Wife was cleaning 12 year old sons bedroom, when she finds a load of serious fetish gear and bondage mags. She asks her husband “what do we do?”
Husband says “I’m no expert but whatever you do don’t spank him.”
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Senior Member
Location: Shropshire
Posts: 2,433
I'm Anto.
Very good Discopants
I only ride 'em, I don't know what makes 'em work
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