'Scuse me for wading in here, but I should say that IMO, the 309 is a very stable customer and the 103 shouldn't be a problem tbh.
The 304 is rather more highly compliant and prefers lighter SME's (M2-9) or Rega RB series tonearms (probably the lighter Jelco as well). It's a bit expensive now though for what's on offer and I think a Sumiko BPS, high output mc or not, might comfortably see it off...
It wouldn't hurt to ask SME if they might make a high-mass headshell for the 309, together with a heavier counterweight should one be needed. My own view is that a 103SA would probably be fine in the 309 just as it is, because the tonearm is so well behaved when compared to all the s shaped detachable types, which probably need all the extra mass to tune the resonances down as far as possible - the 103 series isn't actually hugely low in compliance when measured, whetever the subjective results may suggest..
Tear down these walls; Cut the ties that held me
Crying out at the top of my voice; Tell me now if you can hear me