The Time has come

[Roy S]

Don't tell him Roy! He'll be asking about dress and shoe sizes next...

She's very diminutive Steve but I suppose what would be normal length frocks on her could be worn as mini dresses?

[Marco]

Don't tell him Roy! He'll be asking about dress and shoe sizes next...

Never mind that - any thoughts on my earlier (lengthy) reply to you? Note: when I take the time and effort to post stuff like that, I appreciate an answer!

In any case, Roy and me already swap frocks, and it's got nothing to do with his lady friend!

Marco.

[Roy S]

In any case, Roy and me already swap frocks, and it's got nothing to do with his lady friend!

Yes and I still can't get that stain out of the black silk number

[Marco]

If it's that white one with creamy 'streaks', I'm adamant it was there before I borrowed it!

Marco.

[Pigmy Pony]

You may well be right, but neither Del (if I were trying to change her) nor myself would settle for that or it allow it to happen. We're both very determined and strong-willed, free-thinking people, so our view with marriage, even before we met, was that you either found the *right* person, and waited for that to happen, or simply stayed single!

One of the reasons that divorce today is rife, is because folk simply aren't fussy enough who they marry, or become too seduced by physical appearances and don't consider enough what a person would be like to live with 24/7, 365 under the same roof as you... That's why before we got married, we lived together first for a year, just to see that we could successfully cohabitate without killing each other lol - and if more people did that, rather than just rushing into things, I believe there'd be far less divorces!



Wot - you've never seen how dating sites work? The whole idea is to find someone who's compatible with you, based on certain criteria. Now I didn't meet Del on a dating site (such things weren't even invented then), but the same process can occur naturally, when two people just 'click'. In that respect, the only things realistically that Del and I don't have in common is that she's a veggie/vegan, doesn't like football, and we have some slightly different cultural interests.

That's about it it! Pretty much with everything else, we're singing from the same hymn sheet



Well, that's where we're very different, then. My core interests and passions such as music, good food/drink, foreign travel, nice cars, football, etc, will be with me for life, as they're fundamentally a part of ME, and so I simply couldn't 'lose interest' in them. And Del's the same with her core interests/passions.



Lol... No, the thing is I've always loved nice (generally fast, sporty) cars, or cars that are a bit different from the norm, so although I didn't have the Brabster back then (I didn't even have a car licence, as I passed my test the year after we were married!) she still knew I loved nice cars, and so does she, although her proclivities lean more towards classic cars. And trying hard to think about it, I can't really think of anything major I've developed an interest in after we met, which I wasn't interested in already.

Possibly antiques/vintage things, old buildings, etc, which weren't as much on my radar before, and which I now love. However, Del got me into that, so it's now simply another interest that we both share and enjoy together.



Perhaps in general that's how things go, but not in our relationship.

The point I was making before about changing someone was that, say in terms of my situation, well my love of hi-fi and music, fine food and wine, for example, was a BIG part of me LONG before I met Del. Therefore, if she wanted to be my wife, she'd have to accept that and learn to live with it. Ditto the other way round, which I'd have equally respected and accepted.

*That* is what true compromise is about: totally accepting and respecting who someone is, and what was an important part of them, long before you knew them, and not trying to change them!

Therefore, since we were talking about turntables, all the 'hi-fi and music paraphernalia' I'd acquired over the years long before meeting Del, would subsequently *HAVE* to become part of the home we were going to share, and that would go for Del's stuff too, and which is precisely what happened.

In terms of making decisions, they're always done together, and only after we BOTH agree. The only time that one of us will drive the decision forward, is when one of us knows more about something than the other, and ultimately will gain more from it (such as the appliances we chose for our new kitchen, which Del largely decided upon, although I still had an input), but NEVER does one of us 'just go along with it', for the sake of a 'quiet life' or whatever, as both of us are too feisty and strong willed to behave that way.



Haha... Well, you are! However, I'll be honest and say that she didn't love the car as much as me, but she still liked it and fully understood why I wanted to buy it.

And since I've bought it and she's been in it, she absolutely LOVES how it drives and handles, and particularly the rather thrilling turn of speed it's capable of! As mentioned above, cars are one of the areas where I know more than she does, so I'll then 'drive the decision forward', but only for my car, not hers!

As far as that goes, I'll recommend what I think would be good to get, based on her chosen criteria, but she always has the final decision. That's how it's done, mate: showing each other mutual respect/consideration and being willing to give and take, with no-one in the relationship being the overall 'boss'

That's why I hate all this 'WAF' nonsense, as it's simply the domain of henpecked husbands, married to women who don't know how to compromise!!

Marco.

Fine, fine, I think we broadly agree. Now what we having for tea?

My two core interests (foreign travel and music) have never gone away, although the foreign travel bit is just getting abroad couple of times a year. My other interests (hifi, weightlifting/powerlifting, motorbikes, judo, archery) come and go, then come back again, although the weightlifting and judo are now unlikely to return. So maybe the hifi interest will stick around longer

When I think about it, all these interests existed before I took up with Mrs. P, so my argument falls down there.

No need to reply to this post, I think the other members have suffered enough


Edit: Sorry it took a while to reply - I'm quite a slow reader, also I needed a lie down halfway through

[Roy S]

I'm adamant it was there before I borrowed it!

Hmm, you may be right but it's definitely been added to

[Marco]

Fine, fine, I think we broadly agree. Now what we having for tea?

Pan-fried free-range chicken breast with a fresh lemon and butter sauce, sprinkled with fresh parsley and served with spätzle (Hungarian egg noodles) and fresh spinach.

Is that ok? It'll be on the table in five minutes!

Marco.

[Pigmy Pony]

Wish you'd said sooner, it'll be cold by the time I get there

So it's reheated beef casserole for me, and I think I'll have some HP sauce on it Washed down with some Pepsi Max.

[tapid]

Never mind that - any thoughts on my earlier (lengthy) reply to you? Note: when I take the time and effort to post stuff like that, I appreciate an answer!

In any case, Roy and me already swap frocks, and it's got nothing to do with his lady friend!

Marco.

. Lengthy that was longer than War and Peace

[Made in 1968]

I could have watch the whole of Spartacus quicker than it took me to read it