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Thread: The Time has come

  1. #41
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Wrexham, North Wales, UK

    Posts: 96,539
    I'm AudioAl'sArbiterForPISHANTO.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex_UK View Post
    If it makes you feel better, I, the most mild mannered man on the planet (possibly) once smashed a Dual turntable into pieces after wife#1 complained about the way it looked... funniest part was that she gathered all the fragments into a pile and then said “can you fix it?”
    Lol... But seriously, if you've got the type of petty and controlling 'wife' who complains about how a fooking turntable looks, start getting the divorce papers written up!!

    Marco.
    "Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears. - John Lennon

    Protect your HUMAN RIGHTS and REFUSE ANY *MANDATORY* VACCINE FOR COVID-19!

  2. #42
    Join Date: Jun 2014

    Location: Chorley Lancs

    Posts: 6,398
    I'm Steve.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marco View Post
    Lol... But seriously, if you've got the type of petty and controlling 'wife' who complains about how a fooking turntable looks, start getting the divorce papers written up!!

    Marco.
    For most folk though, there needs to be a bit of compromise. Because for most partners (usually female) looks are more important than sounds. In order to get my fairly large speakers through the door without protest, I had to agree to pay silly money for 'special finish'. So a bit of give and take - I gave in to her request, and Zu Audio took the piss
    I just dropped in, to see what condition my condition was in

    T/T: Inspire Monarch, X200 tonearm, Ortofon 2M Black. Phono: Yaqin MS-22B CD: Densen Beat B400 Plus; Headphone/pre: Myryad Z40; Amp: Audion Silver Night 300b stereo
    Speakers: Zu Omen Def. Atlas Equator interconnects, Atlas Hyper 3.0 speaker cables

    T'other system:
    Echo Dot, Amptastic Mini-1, Celestion 5's, BK XLS-200 DF

    A/V:
    Panasonic 42" plasma, Panasonic Blu Ray, Sony a/v amp, MA Radius speakers, REL Storm sub

  3. #43
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Wrexham, North Wales, UK

    Posts: 96,539
    I'm AudioAl'sArbiterForPISHANTO.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony View Post
    For most folk though, there needs to be a bit of compromise...
    Absolutely, and that also means the wives, not just the husbands compromising! Plus, large speakers are different ball game, as they're much more imposing in the room. Any basic looking turntable though, no reasonable person should have an issue with.

    My basic point though, is marry someone who shares the same (or most of the same) passions/interests as you! Then there'll be less scope for disagreements. The fact that Del loves music, pretty much the same stuff I do (played loudly if necessary), likes it to sound good too, and LURVES deep bass, is one of the reasons why we get on so well

    I just don't see the point in marrying someone who isn't 'in tune' with YOU, or worse, who tries to change you and turn you into someone else!!

    Fuck that for a game of soldiers. If I were single right now and looking for a partner or wife, it'd be a case of 'love me, love my hi-fi' (and everything else that makes me, ME), or find someone else.

    Marco.
    "Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears. - John Lennon

    Protect your HUMAN RIGHTS and REFUSE ANY *MANDATORY* VACCINE FOR COVID-19!

  4. #44
    Join Date: Jun 2014

    Location: Chorley Lancs

    Posts: 6,398
    I'm Steve.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marco View Post
    Absolutely, and that also means the wives, not just the husbands compromising! Plus, large speakers are different ball game, as they're much more imposing in the room. Any basic looking turntable though, no reasonable person should have an issue with.

    My basic point though, is marry someone who shares the same (or most of the same) passions/interests as you! Then there'll be less scope for disagreements. The fact that Del loves music, pretty much the same stuff I do (played loudly if necessary), likes it to sound good too, and LURVES deep bass, is one of the reasons why we get on so well

    I just don't see the point in marrying someone who isn't 'in tune' with YOU, or worse, who tries to change you and turn you into someone else!!

    Fuck that for a game of soldiers. If I were single right now and looking for a partner or wife, it'd be a case of 'love me, love my hi-fi' (and everything else that makes me, ME), or find someone else.

    Marco.
    I suppose I shouldn't generalise, but I'm going too anyway... Generally, (I'm told) women want to change their man, while men want their woman to stay the same.

    Not really relevant, but I too always thought the Dual decks were a bit ugly - sorry Alex!

    On the point about marrying someone who shares your interests, how does that work? My interests mostly have a shelf life of 5-6 years, then I lose interest and move onto something else. Time's almost up for me with the hifi, though as with most of my other interests it'll circle back in a few years. My point is, what if you develop an interest which wasn't apparent on your wedding day? No doubt you didn't have your Brabster back then, what if Del said "I'd rather we didn't get that old bus, we'll look like drug dealers"?

    No one can be a 100% perfect match for their partner when it comes to interests, so there will always be an amount of one person drives the decision forward, while the other just goes along with it. In can just imagine how the Brabster sales pitch went - if it was anything like the reply you're about to compose, I can picture Del going "Fine, fine, that sounds like a good idea. now what we having for tea?" You then interpret the lack of opposition as full agreement. Go on, tell me I'm wrong!
    I just dropped in, to see what condition my condition was in

    T/T: Inspire Monarch, X200 tonearm, Ortofon 2M Black. Phono: Yaqin MS-22B CD: Densen Beat B400 Plus; Headphone/pre: Myryad Z40; Amp: Audion Silver Night 300b stereo
    Speakers: Zu Omen Def. Atlas Equator interconnects, Atlas Hyper 3.0 speaker cables

    T'other system:
    Echo Dot, Amptastic Mini-1, Celestion 5's, BK XLS-200 DF

    A/V:
    Panasonic 42" plasma, Panasonic Blu Ray, Sony a/v amp, MA Radius speakers, REL Storm sub

  5. #45
    Join Date: Jan 2020

    Location: South Yorkshire

    Posts: 2,683
    I'm Andre.

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    Chez do not give a crap what things look like. I think its the money wasting i have done over the years that annoys her. Makes me sick to the core when i think about it tbh so i do not stand a chance in an all out cat fight

    However this time i am taking it carefully, no rush, not as if im without music..Patience is a vertue, shame i had very little of it in the past.. Not having the enthusiasm i used to have will help things, i think. Not going overboard with things will also help. I know what a lotta things sound like in standard form so it will be a matter of cosmetic upgrades i will perform like pretty Arm boards & Wires etc.. Next stage is a modified wall shelf for it..
    Last edited by Made in 1968; 08-04-2020 at 12:33.

  6. #46
    Join Date: Nov 2011

    Location: Harold Hill, Romford, Essex

    Posts: 7,563
    I'm watching.

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    Judging by the number of female members on AOS it would take some time to find a partner who would be completely accepting of the sort of sound systems most of us on here have.

    The main reason I haven't moved in with my lady friend is my hifi and all my other 'stuff'. It will happen once we've found a suitable property which will have a dedicated room for my gear. I have downsized a bit, my Legacy Ardens are a couple of inches shorter than the vintage ones they replaced!

  7. #47
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Wrexham, North Wales, UK

    Posts: 96,539
    I'm AudioAl'sArbiterForPISHANTO.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony View Post
    I suppose I shouldn't generalise, but I'm going too anyway... Generally, (I'm told) women want to change their man, while men want their woman to stay the same.
    You may well be right, but neither Del (if I were trying to change her) nor myself would settle for that or it allow it to happen. We're both very determined and strong-willed, free-thinking people, so our view with marriage, even before we met, was that you either found the *right* person, and waited for that to happen, or simply stayed single!

    One of the reasons that divorce today is rife, is because folk simply aren't fussy enough who they marry, or become too seduced by physical appearances and don't consider enough what a person would be like to live with 24/7, 365 under the same roof as you... That's why before we got married, we lived together first for a year, just to see that we could successfully cohabitate without killing each other lol - and if more people did that, rather than just rushing into things, I believe there'd be far less divorces!

    On the point about marrying someone who shares your interests, how does that work?
    Wot - you've never seen how dating sites work? The whole idea is to find someone who's compatible with you, based on certain criteria. Now I didn't meet Del on a dating site (such things weren't even invented then), but the same process can occur naturally, when two people just 'click'. In that respect, the only things realistically that Del and I don't have in common is that she's a veggie/vegan, doesn't like football, and we have some slightly different cultural interests.

    That's about it it! Pretty much with everything else, we're singing from the same hymn sheet

    My interests mostly have a shelf life of 5-6 years, then I lose interest and move onto something else.
    Well, that's where we're very different, then. My core interests and passions such as music, good food/drink, foreign travel, nice cars, football, etc, will be with me for life, as they're fundamentally a part of ME, and so I simply couldn't 'lose interest' in them. And Del's the same with her core interests/passions.

    My point is, what if you develop an interest which wasn't apparent on your wedding day? No doubt you didn't have your Brabster back then, what if Del said "I'd rather we didn't get that old bus, we'll look like drug dealers"?
    Lol... No, the thing is I've always loved nice (generally fast, sporty) cars, or cars that are a bit different from the norm, so although I didn't have the Brabster back then (I didn't even have a car licence, as I passed my test the year after we were married!) she still knew I loved nice cars, and so does she, although her proclivities lean more towards classic cars. And trying hard to think about it, I can't really think of anything major I've developed an interest in after we met, which I wasn't interested in already.

    Possibly antiques/vintage things, old buildings, etc, which weren't as much on my radar before, and which I now love. However, Del got me into that, so it's now simply another interest that we both share and enjoy together.

    No one can be a 100% perfect match for their partner when it comes to interests, so there will always be an amount of one person drives the decision forward, while the other just goes along with it.
    Perhaps in general that's how things go, but not in our relationship.

    The point I was making before about changing someone was that, say in terms of my situation, well my love of hi-fi and music, fine food and wine, for example, was a BIG part of me LONG before I met Del. Therefore, if she wanted to be my wife, she'd have to accept that and learn to live with it. Ditto the other way round, which I'd have equally respected and accepted.

    *That* is what true compromise is about: totally accepting and respecting who someone is, and what was an important part of them, long before you knew them, and not trying to change them!

    Therefore, since we were talking about turntables, all the 'hi-fi and music paraphernalia' I'd acquired over the years long before meeting Del, would subsequently *HAVE* to become part of the home we were going to share, and that would go for Del's stuff too, and which is precisely what happened.

    In terms of making decisions, they're always done together, and only after we BOTH agree. The only time that one of us will drive the decision forward, is when one of us knows more about something than the other, and ultimately will gain more from it (such as the appliances we chose for our new kitchen, which Del largely decided upon, although I still had an input), but NEVER does one of us 'just go along with it', for the sake of a 'quiet life' or whatever, as both of us are too feisty and strong willed to behave that way.

    In can just imagine how the Brabster sales pitch went - if it was anything like the reply you're about to compose, I can picture Del going "Fine, fine, that sounds like a good idea. now what we having for tea?" You then interpret the lack of opposition as full agreement. Go on, tell me I'm wrong!
    Haha... Well, you are! However, I'll be honest and say that she didn't love the car as much as me, but she still liked it and fully understood why I wanted to buy it.

    And since I've bought it and she's been in it, she absolutely LOVES how it drives and handles, and particularly the rather thrilling turn of speed it's capable of! As mentioned above, cars are one of the areas where I know more than she does, so I'll then 'drive the decision forward', but only for my car, not hers!

    As far as that goes, I'll recommend what I think would be good to get, based on her chosen criteria, but she always has the final decision. That's how it's done, mate: showing each other mutual respect/consideration and being willing to give and take, with no-one in the relationship being the overall 'boss'

    That's why I hate all this 'WAF' nonsense, as it's simply the domain of henpecked husbands, married to women who don't know how to compromise!!

    Marco.
    "Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears. - John Lennon

    Protect your HUMAN RIGHTS and REFUSE ANY *MANDATORY* VACCINE FOR COVID-19!

  8. #48
    Join Date: Jan 2020

    Location: South Yorkshire

    Posts: 2,683
    I'm Andre.

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    Fuc Marco you sending me dizzy with that essay

    Chez told me a bit back she used to fancy me when i used to work in a Record shop in Town in the early 80's & she used to Lick the shop window outside every day.. Strange how it actually took her 15 years to get in there I did tell her from the offset that music & Hi-Fi will always come first.

  9. #49
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Wrexham, North Wales, UK

    Posts: 96,539
    I'm AudioAl'sArbiterForPISHANTO.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Made in 1968 View Post
    Fuc Marco you sending me dizzy with that essay
    Lol - I just like Piggurs to know exactly how things are without being under any illusions!

    Marco.
    "Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears. - John Lennon

    Protect your HUMAN RIGHTS and REFUSE ANY *MANDATORY* VACCINE FOR COVID-19!

  10. #50
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Wrexham, North Wales, UK

    Posts: 96,539
    I'm AudioAl'sArbiterForPISHANTO.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Roy S View Post
    Judging by the number of female members on AOS it would take some time to find a partner who would be completely accepting of the sort of sound systems most of us on here have.
    I know where you're coming from Roy, but not really, providing you're not seeking to change the person (your partner) whom you're intending to live with, but rather accepting their 'baggage', as it were, as part of the overall package. Your 'baggage' in this instance being your hi-fi gear.

    Did you have all that stuff before you met your lady friend? If so, well..... I mean, where will her substantial shoe and frock collection be going?

    Therefore, if you're not trying to change someone, or 'obliterate' their past [or accumulated possessions], and instead accepting them 'warts and all', then hi-fi gear, or anything else within reason, doesn't need to be an issue, as long as there's enough space where you're going to put everything!

    Marco.
    "Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears. - John Lennon

    Protect your HUMAN RIGHTS and REFUSE ANY *MANDATORY* VACCINE FOR COVID-19!

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