Is there a problem at AOS?

[Marco]

Perhaps men have approached their feminine side more now. Anyway, as i said before, folk will move on, unfortunate as it can be sometimes.
Its one of the failings of the typed response that it is impersonal hence arguments start that probably wouldnt when face to face contact is established..

Yup, that's a big factor in things, too

Marco.

[Gazjam]

To an extent I think it’s a good thing to respect other people’s “offence level” and not ride roughshod over it by default?

...but only up to the point where you realise they are using it to get there own way.
folks that are “professionally offended” really get on my tits!

As bad as someone stomping all over someone else’s opinions, and to hell with both those.

We’re better as a society if we are more understanding of others.
Like most things in life, all about balance.

[Marco]

To an extent I think it’s a good thing to respect other people’s “offence level” and not ride roughshod over it by default?

...but only up to the point where you realise they are using it to get there own way.
folks that are “professionally offended” really get on my tits!

As bad as someone stomping all over someone else’s opinions, and to hell with both those.

We’re better as a society if we are more understanding of others.
Like most things in life, all about balance.

Exactly! The word is TOLERANCE, and it cuts BOTH ways.

I'm all for respecting other people's "offence level", but not to the point where it stifles reasonable free speech. I simply will NOT 'mamby-pambify' AoS to that sort of extent.

Marco.

[oldius]

At the risk of being offended, the use of 'mamby pambify' is somewhat inflammatory in a thread asking 'What's wrong'. Personally, I always liked it here and never had an issue but times are changing.

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[struth]

indeed it isnt the best phraseology if thats a word... I think people who are rarely offended need to take into account that others may not be so robust... But it does work both ways, and others do have rights too, so i usually say if its a subject that is getting potentially heated, dont read it and leave it to mods to sort out if they feel its over the line.
Few folk here would appreciate a sterile set of boards where everyone agrees with each other.. life isnt like that so why should a forum be any different.
Lots of stuff written here offends me/bores me/annoys me/cracks me up etc.. a bit like life

[scotty38]

........times are changing.

You rang?

[AJSki2fly]

Exactly, but not just politics, the contentious topics where colour, creed, nationalism enter in, cause its just incendiary - guaranteed.

Add to that 'have to have the last word, no matter what types', ego's and personalities that think it's weakness or they've 'lost' if they dont have said last word and it's no wonder it's all just got out of hand too many times - it's not normal.

On top of that lot we've seen, all too often, where grown men who should absolutely know better, lacking what should be a standard maturity, which is to simply know and spot when it's time to just say, 'hey! we'll agree to disagree' rather than insisting on 'being heard'.

We'd probably have not seen the number of overly heated discussions, turning to argument, (not to mention the number of longstanding good guys and enthusiastic, learned hi-fi discussion contributors sadly now departed) if 'men' showed genuine man character by humbling up a bit, for the better good and harmony of the forum, instead of persisting in having the last say. It's selfish and damaging as the ensuing mess and drop out most certainly has a negative effect on other members. It's been going on way too long and has spoiled things

Robbie, I think you have highlighted a very good point, "Add to that 'have to have the last word, no matter what types', ego's and personalities that think it's weakness or they've 'lost' if they dont have said last word". Yes as I said earlier we are all entitled to our opinions but when somebody starts being provocative or attacking another member in an aggressive or derogatory manner it really does lower things, and all becomes rather sad and disappointing, as far as I am concerned anyway. If I see this happening I try and ignore it, but as you said others seem to have stopped contributing presumably for similar reasons, and I miss some of them and their input. I in fact considered having a break myself for these reasons, but have decided to see if things improve, I certainly hope so!

[oldius]

indeed it isnt the best phraseology if thats a word... I think people who are rarely offended need to take into account that others may not be so robust... But it does work both ways, and others do have rights too, so i usually say if its a subject that is getting potentially heated, dont read it and leave it to mods to sort out if they feel its over the line.
Few folk here would appreciate a sterile set of boards where everyone agrees with each other.. life isnt like that so why should a forum be any different.
Lots of stuff written here offends me/bores me/annoys me/cracks me up etc.. a bit like life

Spot on.

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[Marco]

At the risk of being offended, the use of 'mamby pambify' is somewhat inflammatory in a thread asking 'What's wrong'. Personally, I always liked it here and never had an issue but times are changing.

Ha - I deliberately used that phrase to be contentious!

Thing is, I believe that forums should, as far as possible, reflect REAL LIFE, and in real life you simply aren't afforded such protection of your sensibilities. You need to be thick-skinned and resilient to survive, and I'd like to see more evidence of that on forums sometimes, rather than folks 'flouncing' when they don't get it all their own way, or after having read something that has upset them.

In essence, stand up for yourself, rather than run!

Plus, whilst we'll always act upon the reasonable requests of others and make changes if necessary, as that's important, there's also an element of: 'AoS is what it is', like it or lump it, and if you don't like it, then find somewhere else that suits you better. I have absolutely no problem with that, as AoS has never been, or ever will be, a 'catch all' forum.

We have a distinct identity that people will either relate to and wish to be a part of or not - it's therefore ultimately up to people to 'fit in' with us, not us to fit in with them, and I'm just as determined to protect that identity (and our ethos), as I am to be sympathetic towards people's views different from my own, or those of our regular contributors.

Other than that, I also agree with Grant

Marco.

[gninnam]

Being one of the oldest members on the forum you may notice that my post count is very low.
Reason being that a lot of what is posted on here either does not interest me so I may read the first part and never visit it again.
Many times though I come across posts which appear to be created to get peoples backs up.

Many a time I have read something which I feel needs a reply - started to type, then before hitting send, re-read what I type then realise I am being dragged into something that in my everyday life I would have just walked away from - the pen (or keyboard) is mightier than the sword as they say.

I join forums for what they are supposed to be about - HiFi forums for HiFi discussions, car forums for car discussions etc.
If I want to discuss politics, the weather, food etc then I will look for a forum that caters for that.

Would you buy a book on cooking and in the middle find a chapter on how to rebuild your carburettor you would probably return it.
Why forums have to have sections that are not related to what they are supposed to be about has always puzzled me but it is what it is I suppose.

Anywho - if people choose to get upset and leave a forum for whatever reason then so be it.
The only time I have left a forum was when it got to cliquey and I felt posting anything was a complete waste of time (although I did rejoin many years later, still the same clique but I had grown up and ignored that......)

All the best to all on this forum as I do find the HiFi areas to be very informative and generally friendly
(just re-read what I typed before hitting the submit button and I am OK with what I have written!!)