Everything is somebody else's fault

[Primalsea]

Not seen a Viz for years! Good memories there. My brother used to buy the annuals, they had strange names - The Sausage Sandwich was one. Ironically probably a great character for Viz would be a Mother that gets her kids to have accidents in just so she can sue whoever premises it happened on.

[thingfish]

Aye VIZ is class, used to love reading VIZ Top Tips............Some quality advise.
.

DRIVERS: Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone while driving. Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you are listening to the sea.

MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire - then turn it down three notches. This saves your wife having to do it.

DON'T waste money on expensive iPods. Simply think of your favourite tune and I hum it. If you want to "switch tracks", simply think of another song you like and hum that instead.

GAMBLERS: For a new gambling opportunity, try sending £50 to yourself by Royal Mail.

Etc etc etc .........

[Marco]

Haha - love it, especially that last one!

As for this, though....

MEN: When listening to your favourite CD, simply turn up the sound to the volume you desire - then turn it down three notches. This saves your wife having to do it.

NOT if she wants to keep all her fingers!!

Marco.

[Firebottle]

An era when women looked like women (and embraced their femininity), rather than, well............

Marco.

Sex dolls, that's what they all look like now, plastic with everything.

[Marco]

Indeed, falsified to the max; either that or foulmouthed, pint-swilling, tattooed, tracksuit-wearing, 'ladettes', with about as much femininity as Tom Jones' chest wig!

Or vacuous 'Love Island' fodder.... Wouldn't touch any of it with a bargepole!

Marco.

[struth]

Indeed its refreshing to see a youngish woman who takes the trouble to look her best, but that charge could be landed at young men too. as they get older its just gonna get worse, especially with those tattoos

[Shovel_Knight]

All the more reason why I'd never set foot in one of those places!

Strictly for chavs and the lower orders....

Marco.

I have to admit I've been to Starbucks, in fact I frequented this place when I was living in the US.

The key to Starbucks success is the fact that Americans simply do not understand coffee, which is a bit surprising considering that they chug it in ungodly amounts. Your average American coffee tastes like it was previously used to mop the floor. Against this background, Starbucks looks pretty decent because their basic offerings are actually drinkable.

I lived in a small town about 7 miles from DC and we had just two coffee places: Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts. Starbucks was by far the better of the two. There were some good places in DC, but few and far between. It was 6 years ago, so maybe things are different now but I have my doubts.

Obviously, there's no reason to ever visit Starbucks or its likes if you're in Europe. An average European city has more decent coffee places than the whole American East Coast.

[mad-moon]

Indeed, falsified to the max; either that or foulmouthed, pint-swilling, tattooed, tracksuit-wearing, 'ladettes', with about as much femininity as Tom Jones' chest wig!

Or vacuous 'Love Island' fodder.... Wouldn't touch any of it with a bargepole!

Marco.

Unless you had a pork pie in one hand and a pint in the other.....being ridden reverse cowgirl by a bird with a scalded arm....taking your last few breaths before pegging it....with a smile on your face....

[Firebottle]

Don't tell all of us your dreams Alan, they won't come true then

[Primalsea]

Unless you had a pork pie in one hand and a pint in the other.....being ridden reverse cowgirl by a bird with a scalded arm....taking your last few breaths before pegging it....with a smile on your face....

Well, as exit visas go that’s got to be up there. I mean, you are planning on finishing the pie and pint first? It would be weird otherwise.