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Thread: slips of the tongue

  1. #1
    Join Date: Feb 2013

    Location: W Lothian

    Posts: 99,005
    I'm Grant.

    Default slips of the tongue

    May all your doughnuts look just like Fanny's
    famous slip from Johnny to Fanny Craddock.




    David Frost to the 1970s sex goddess Raquel Welch: "Raquel, before I get into you, I must pause for this commercial break.''

    Football, and Jimmy Magee told viewers: "Brady's been playing inside Platini's shorts all night."

    Win McMurry commented on one of Tiger Woods injuries: "Woods says he's been playing with a bad neck for about a month -- and thinks it could be a bulging dick.''

    At the BBC News Channel, newsreader Peter Sissons was caught out when he did not realise a camera was on him as a clip of the Weakest Link presenter Anne Robinson was shown. Live on air he remarked, somewhat ungallantly: "That's not Anne Robinson, is it? Jesus Christ! She's even got new tits!"


    In his Just-A-Minute Quiz on 2FM Larry Gogan asked a contestant: "Name the BBC Grand Prix commentator? I'll give you a hint -- it's something you suck.''

    Contestant: "Oh, Dickie Davies.'' (Murray Walker was the correct answer).

    BBC commentator Harry Carpenter after the 1977 Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race: "Ah, isn't that nice? The wife of the Cambridge president is kissing the cox of the Oxford crew."

    Regards,
    Grant .... ؠ ......Don't be such a big girl's blouse

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply-doesn't-work
    .... ..... ...... ...... ................... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....
    FIIO K7 BT, M11 PLUS, BTR7, KA5 - OPPO BDP-103D - PANASONIC UB450 - PANASONIC 4K ULTRA HD TV - PIXEL 6 - AVANTREE LR BLUETOOTH - 2* X600 SOUNDCORE - HEADPHONES INCLUDE, FIIO, NURAPHONES', FOCAL, OPPO, BOSE, CAMBRIDGE, BOWER & WILKINS, DEVIALET, MARSHALL, SONY, MITCHELL & JOHNSTON - 2*ZBOOK'S- MERCURY BD ROM, ROON, QOBUZ, TIDAL, PLEX, CYBERLINK, JRIVER - MULTI HDD'S -

    Oh my god! There's nothing wrong with the bidet is there?

    “Nothing discloses real character like the use of power. It is easy for the weak to be gentle. Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power. This is the supreme test. It is the glory of Lincoln that, having almost absolute power, he never abused it, except on the side of mercy".

    “You see these dictators on their pedestals, surrounded by the bayonets of their soldiers and the truncheons of their police ... yet in their hearts there is unspoken fear. They are afraid of words and thoughts: words spoken abroad, thoughts stirring at home -- all the more powerful because forbidden -- terrify them. A little mouse of thought appears in the room, and even the mightiest potentates are thrown into panic.”

    "You don't have free will. You have the appearance of free will.”

    “There's a war out there, old friend. A world war. And it's not about who's got the most bullets. It's about who controls the information. What we see and hear, how we work, what we think... it's all about the information!”


    ***SMILE, BE HAPPY***

  2. #2
    Join Date: Mar 2014

    Location: KY - Scotland

    Posts: 5,465
    I'm Mike.


  3. #3
    Join Date: Nov 2013

    Location: HAMPSTEAD

    Posts: 1,156
    I'm brian.

    Default

    David Coleman: the great Juantorena ( cuban runner) opens his legs and shows his class. Quality.

  4. #4
    Join Date: Mar 2014

    Location: KY - Scotland

    Posts: 5,465
    I'm Mike.

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tapid View Post
    David Coleman: the great Juantorena ( cuban runner) opens his legs and shows his class. Quality.
    Yip remember that one, a classic

    Mind you his stride was something ridiculous like 8ft or something, what a runner

  5. #5
    Join Date: Nov 2013

    Location: HAMPSTEAD

    Posts: 1,156
    I'm brian.

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeyb View Post
    Yip remember that one, a classic

    Mind you his stride was something ridiculous like 8ft or something, what a runner
    Yeah he could win a race in a few strides, amazing athlete, freak of nature.

  6. #6
    Join Date: Feb 2013

    Location: W Lothian

    Posts: 99,005
    I'm Grant.

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeyb View Post
    Yip remember that one, a classic

    Mind you his stride was something ridiculous like 8ft or something, what a runner
    thats a big un

    a cheetah does 22 ft, so dont try and outrun one, just outrun your mate
    Regards,
    Grant .... ؠ ......Don't be such a big girl's blouse

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply-doesn't-work
    .... ..... ...... ...... ................... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....
    FIIO K7 BT, M11 PLUS, BTR7, KA5 - OPPO BDP-103D - PANASONIC UB450 - PANASONIC 4K ULTRA HD TV - PIXEL 6 - AVANTREE LR BLUETOOTH - 2* X600 SOUNDCORE - HEADPHONES INCLUDE, FIIO, NURAPHONES', FOCAL, OPPO, BOSE, CAMBRIDGE, BOWER & WILKINS, DEVIALET, MARSHALL, SONY, MITCHELL & JOHNSTON - 2*ZBOOK'S- MERCURY BD ROM, ROON, QOBUZ, TIDAL, PLEX, CYBERLINK, JRIVER - MULTI HDD'S -

    Oh my god! There's nothing wrong with the bidet is there?

    “Nothing discloses real character like the use of power. It is easy for the weak to be gentle. Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power. This is the supreme test. It is the glory of Lincoln that, having almost absolute power, he never abused it, except on the side of mercy".

    “You see these dictators on their pedestals, surrounded by the bayonets of their soldiers and the truncheons of their police ... yet in their hearts there is unspoken fear. They are afraid of words and thoughts: words spoken abroad, thoughts stirring at home -- all the more powerful because forbidden -- terrify them. A little mouse of thought appears in the room, and even the mightiest potentates are thrown into panic.”

    "You don't have free will. You have the appearance of free will.”

    “There's a war out there, old friend. A world war. And it's not about who's got the most bullets. It's about who controls the information. What we see and hear, how we work, what we think... it's all about the information!”


    ***SMILE, BE HAPPY***

  7. #7
    Join Date: Feb 2017

    Location: Surrey, UK

    Posts: 506
    I'm Mark.

    Default

    Dimbleby made very few mistakes in his lengthy overseeing of Question Time but it was hilarious when he addressed the foreign sec. who had just made headlines regarding his adulterous affairs as 'Robin Cock'.

  8. #8
    Join Date: Jul 2014

    Location: Shropshire

    Posts: 2,420
    I'm Anto.

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    Sunday Brunch around a month ago , channel 4 - The alluring Kate Humble , Tony Blackurn and Boyzone were standing watching the raven haired woman from South America discussing sparkling wines - a Brazilian one a Californian one and one from Timbucktoo or somewhere .
    They had a glass of each and were asked whch they preferred ?
    Kate Humble said she liked the Brazilain - to which Keating , Duffy and Lynch roar their heads off whilst the innocent Humble doesnt get the joke !!

    Sniggering like schoolboys all around and then she gives them a double take !!!-- Priceless tv .
    Still pissing themselves few minutes later
    I only ride 'em, I don't know what makes 'em work

  9. #9
    Join Date: Jan 2013

    Location: North East

    Posts: 12,011
    I'm Alan.

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    My pal has just bought his partner a new tablet. He was telling me about it, saying he'll have to take it back, he says she wants a seven incher because she can't handle the ten incher because she has pain in her hands...the penny dropped a few moments later and we had a good laugh.....sorry Vince..I had to share this....
    'ANDSOME IN THE SUMMER..'ORIBBLE IN THE WINTER. Barney Milne

    Cambridge Audio CXN, Seagate nas drive, Michell Gyrodec SE, SME309, Benz M2 Ruby cantilever, Denon DL103, Primare R32, Densen D20, Densen D30, Cambridge Audio 840A V2 integrated, Pioneer SX-N30AE Network Stereo Receiver, Roksan Darius speakers, Technics speakers, Canon speakers, Bastanis Dragonfly Horns, REL Storm III sub, Target R1 speaker stands, Atacama Equinox.

  10. #10
    Join Date: Nov 2013

    Location: Powys

    Posts: 1,199
    I'm David.

    Default

    An elderly, not computer savvy, friend of mine was sent, some years ago, by her son to get him some new floppy discs from the local office supplies shop. Imagine the salesman's face when she asked, "have you got a floppy dick?"

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