Dads.

[struth]

I sincerely hope he and you all enjoy xmas.

[Bigman80]

My sincere thanks to everyone who shared their thoughts and feelings on this thread, it has been comforting and supportive. I haven't been emotionally able to reply to everything I read but every word was appreciated.

Dad has cancer in most of his major organs and emphysema, they are letting him come home tomorrow so he can spend christmas with mum and the family, he is coming home with half the hospital by the look of it, but as it is helping him to live pain free and keeping his breathing less laboured we are happy. It looks like his last christmas won't be as bad as first feared, as he is in good spirits and has his wicked sense of humour back. I'm betting that under the circumstances we'll be sharing a glass of scotch or two as well.

In a twisted sort of way, how the last 4 weeks have unfolded has been a blessing, we know we are going to lose him and it's going to hurt like hell, but we have been given the chance to prepare for it as much as is emotionally possible, it sinks in a bit more everyday, and we do get to have dad in much better spirits and suffering much less than he has been for a long time. There is no way to lose someone you care about that doesn't fill you with pain, but being given a chance to take a breath of comfort before being submerged in grief has been a gift.

The only kindness is knowing the time you have with him is so important. Have a great Christmas

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[dave2010]

This is a difficult thread to reply to. I suspect that most dads are OK - even if they do seem awkward sometimes - and they will appreciate discussion and expressions of emotional support and involvement etc. However generalities don't always work - and I know of and have heard of some "difficult" cases where there is perhaps nothing which can reasonably, or even with extreme efforts, be done to make "contact". Hopefully thse are rare, but they do happen.

Where there are difficulties they could possibly lead to feelings of guilt on the part of other relatives, though they may eventually have to let these go.

Keep trying and hope for a breakthrough. Good luck, and I hope you have a Happy Christmas.