+ Reply to Thread
Page 27 of 182 FirstFirst ... 1725262728293777127 ... LastLast
Results 261 to 270 of 1814

Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #261
    Join Date: Sep 2009

    Location: France

    Posts: 3,209
    I'm notAlone.

    Default

    The "selective audition" syndrome is widespread among men, although it remains a mystery for most women.

    For instance, when a woman says:

    "Listen ! This mess is unbearable ! You and me, we'll clean it all together. Look, all your clothes are lying on the floor and if we do not wash them immediately, soon you'll have you walk naked. You help me a bit with this mess on the bed, and put some order now, I mean immediately! "

    most men hear:

    "Listen !.. Blablablabla .. you and me ...Blablablabla ... together ... Blablablabla... naked ...Blablablabla... on the bed ... Blablablabla...now .... Blablablabla... immediately! "

    To date, no therapy seems to effectively treat this audition impairing.

    Apparently, men focus their attention on the essential part.
    Dimitri.

    In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    George Orwell

  2. #262
    Alex_UK's Avatar
    Alex_UK is offline Spotify + Facebook Moderator / Chilled-Out Wino and only here for the shilling
    Join Date: Aug 2009

    Location: Sunny Suffolk, UK

    Posts: 15,952
    I'm WrappingALilacCurtainAroundMyBobby.

    Default Video exclusive!

    Is one of our members currently starring in the new Miike Snow video?

    Could this be Beechwoods, fettling one of his latest R2R additions?

    Maybe Dave Cawley just discovering the latest Techie tweak?

    Stan working on his latest creation?

    Maybe this is what you find if you enter that door, between those two big Lockwood cabinets????

    Unless anyone else has any suggestions???!!!

    Alex

    Main System: Digital: HP Laptop/M2Tech Hiface/Logitech Media Server/FLAC; Marantz SA7001 KI Signature SACD Player and other digital stuff into Gatorised Beresford Caiman DAC Vinyl: Garrard 401/SME 3009 SII Improved/Sumiko HS/Nagaoka MP-30
    Amplifier: Rega Brio R. Speakers: Spendor SP1. Cables: Various, mainly Mark Grant.
    Please see "about me" for the rest of my cr@p! Gallery


    A.o.S. on Facebook - A.o.S. on Spotify - A.o.S. on Twitter

    There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing Aristotle

  3. #263
    Join Date: May 2008

    Location: Bristol, UK

    Posts: 9,962
    I'm Nick.

    Default

    great video! I'd say it has to be Dave 'cos the main featured reel to reel looks just like the black Akai GX-625 featured in his recent Private Exhibitions post. And besides, my hair's shorter
    Nick
    My system...


    Follow AOS on Twitter: @AoS_Forum

  4. #264
    Alex_UK's Avatar
    Alex_UK is offline Spotify + Facebook Moderator / Chilled-Out Wino and only here for the shilling
    Join Date: Aug 2009

    Location: Sunny Suffolk, UK

    Posts: 15,952
    I'm WrappingALilacCurtainAroundMyBobby.

    Default Why I'm in a hotel room in Nottingham...

    I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.
    We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

    I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".


    "Wow!" I was flabbergasted.


    "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

    She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".


    "Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"


    She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.


    She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.


    Anyway, she giggled and said, "Well, I've put on a few pounds myself!"


    So I told her to f*ck off.

    Alex

    Main System: Digital: HP Laptop/M2Tech Hiface/Logitech Media Server/FLAC; Marantz SA7001 KI Signature SACD Player and other digital stuff into Gatorised Beresford Caiman DAC Vinyl: Garrard 401/SME 3009 SII Improved/Sumiko HS/Nagaoka MP-30
    Amplifier: Rega Brio R. Speakers: Spendor SP1. Cables: Various, mainly Mark Grant.
    Please see "about me" for the rest of my cr@p! Gallery


    A.o.S. on Facebook - A.o.S. on Spotify - A.o.S. on Twitter

    There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing Aristotle

  5. #265
    Join Date: Sep 2009

    Location: France

    Posts: 3,209
    I'm notAlone.

    Default

    Dimitri.

    In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    George Orwell

  6. #266
    Join Date: Jan 2009

    Location: Essex

    Posts: 31,965
    I'm openingabottleofwine.

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alex_UK View Post
    I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around.
    We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.

    I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that "old magic".


    "Wow!" I was flabbergasted.


    "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now", I said, "I'm a bit older and a bit greyer and balder than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have."

    She just giggled and said she was sure I would "rise to the challenge".


    "Yeah." I said. "Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!"


    She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.


    She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.


    Anyway, she giggled and said, "Well, I've put on a few pounds myself!"


    So I told her to f*ck off.

    Oh yes ! True or not, I would love to tell any of the former girlfriends of mine who had fucked me up, to go and do the same. These days I'm now a lot more 'laid back' and mellower, so I probably wouldn't be so aggressive.

    Regards
    Barry

  7. #267
    Join Date: Sep 2009

    Location: France

    Posts: 3,209
    I'm notAlone.

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by barry.d.hunt View Post
    Oh yes ! True or not, I would love to tell any of the former girlfriends of mine who had fucked me up, to go and do the same. These days I'm now a lot more 'laid back' and mellower, so I probably wouldn't be so aggressive.

    Regards
    This is not being aggressive : it's being sincere !
    Dimitri.

    In a time of deceit telling the truth is a revolutionary act.
    George Orwell

  8. #268
    Join Date: May 2008

    Location: Lancaster(-ish), UK

    Posts: 16,937
    I'm ChrisB.

    Default

    Anyone with an interest in landlord / tenant relations should read this for tips on how to conduct a thoroughly professional and business like contractual arrangement.
    Anyone else should read this for a couple of good belly laughs.

    http://www.fridayoffcuts.com/pix/The%20Landlord.pdf

    Love the subject line of the final email - 'Nom nom nom' !!!

  9. #269
    Join Date: Jul 2009

    Location: Birmingham, UK

    Posts: 2,238
    I'm Dan.

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Grand Wazoo View Post
    Anyone with an interest in landlord / tenant relations should read this for tips on how to conduct a thoroughly professional and business like contractual arrangement.
    Anyone else should read this for a couple of good belly laughs.

    http://www.fridayoffcuts.com/pix/The%20Landlord.pdf

    Love the subject line of the final email - 'Nom nom nom' !!!
    That is absolute genius....

  10. #270
    Alex_UK's Avatar
    Alex_UK is offline Spotify + Facebook Moderator / Chilled-Out Wino and only here for the shilling
    Join Date: Aug 2009

    Location: Sunny Suffolk, UK

    Posts: 15,952
    I'm WrappingALilacCurtainAroundMyBobby.

    Default

    Yep, awesome!
    Alex

    Main System: Digital: HP Laptop/M2Tech Hiface/Logitech Media Server/FLAC; Marantz SA7001 KI Signature SACD Player and other digital stuff into Gatorised Beresford Caiman DAC Vinyl: Garrard 401/SME 3009 SII Improved/Sumiko HS/Nagaoka MP-30
    Amplifier: Rega Brio R. Speakers: Spendor SP1. Cables: Various, mainly Mark Grant.
    Please see "about me" for the rest of my cr@p! Gallery


    A.o.S. on Facebook - A.o.S. on Spotify - A.o.S. on Twitter

    There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing Aristotle

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •