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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1371
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: gone

    Posts: 11,519
    I'm gone.

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    .

  2. #1372
    Join Date: Jan 2008

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    Posts: 11,519
    I'm gone.

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  3. #1373
    Join Date: Oct 2018

    Location: Forest of Dean

    Posts: 643
    I'm Gary.

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    Why indeed?
    Marantz CD63 KI Signature
    Project Debut II
    Pioneer A656 Reference
    Epos M5s
    Atacama Stands
    Maplin speaker cable cos I can't hear a difference
    Various interconnects as above

  4. #1374
    Join Date: Oct 2018

    Location: Forest of Dean

    Posts: 643
    I'm Gary.

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    Marantz CD63 KI Signature
    Project Debut II
    Pioneer A656 Reference
    Epos M5s
    Atacama Stands
    Maplin speaker cable cos I can't hear a difference
    Various interconnects as above

  5. #1375
    Join Date: Jan 2009

    Location: Essex

    Posts: 31,853
    I'm openingabottleofwine.

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    Courtesy of Colin (Wonfor):

    Barry

  6. #1376
    Join Date: Nov 2013

    Location: Powys

    Posts: 1,199
    I'm David.

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    The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church
    in Ireland . One day he was walking down the High Street and he
    noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub
    drinking beer.
    The Reverend wasn't happy. He walked through the open
    door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.

    'Mrs Fitzgerald,' he said sternly. 'This is no place for a member
    of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?'

    'Sure,' she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
    When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave
    back and forth.


    The Reverend realised that she'd had far too much to drink and
    grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost
    their Balance and tumbled to the floor.


    After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend wound up
    on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.


    The pub landlord looked over and said, 'Oi Mate, we won't have
    any of that carrying on in this pub.'

    The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, 'But you
    don't understand, I'm Pastor Flapps.'

    The landlord nodded and said,
    'Oh well, if you're that far in, you might as well finish.'

  7. #1377
    Join Date: Jan 2009

    Location: Essex

    Posts: 31,853
    I'm openingabottleofwine.

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    There is nothing new in this world - what goes around, comes around. Here is the eighth post on this thread (made 21.03.08), courtesy of Marco

    Quote Originally Posted by Marco View Post

    Meanwhile, here's a little joke-ette:

    Rev John Flapps sees a lady church member getting drunk in the pub. He tries to take her home but they fall and he ends up on top of her. The landlord says:

    "Oi mate you can't do that in here!".

    The Rev replies: "You don't understand, I'm Pastor Flapps".

    The landlord replies: "Well if you're that far in you may as well finish!"

    Marco.
    I thought it sounded familiar.
    Barry

  8. #1378
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Wrexham, North Wales, UK

    Posts: 110,012
    I'm AudioAl'sArbiterForPISHANTO.

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    Ha - that was a long time ago!

    Confucious he say… Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.

    Marco.
    Main System

    Turntable: Heavily-modified Technics SL-1210MK5G [Mike New bearing/ETP platter/Paul Hynes SR7 PSU & reg mods]. Funk Firm APM Achromat/Nagaoka GL-601 Crystal Record Weight/Isonoe feet & boots/Ortofon RS-212D/Denon DL-103GL in Denon PCL-300 headshell with Funk Firm Houdini/Kondo SL-115 pure-silver cartridge leads.

    Paul Hynes MC head amp/SR5 PSU. Also modded Lentek head amp/Denon AU-310 SUT.

    Other Cartridges: Nippon Columbia (NOS 1987) Denon DL-103. USA-made Shure SC35C with NOS stylus. Goldring G820 with NOS stylus. Shure M55E with NOS stylus.

    CD Player: Audiocom-modified Sony X-777ES/DAS-R1 DAC.

    Tape Deck: Tandberg TCD 310, fully restored and recalibrated as new, by RDE, plus upgraded with heads from the TCD-420a. Also with matching TM4 Norway microphones.

    Preamps: Heavily-modified Croft Charisma-X. LDR Stereo Coffee. Power Amps: Tube Distinctions Copper Amp fitted with Tungsol KT-150s. Quad 306.

    Cables & Sundries: Mark Grant HDX1 interconnects and digital coaxial cable, plus Mark Grant 6mm UP-LCOFC Van Damme speaker cable. MCRU 'Ultimate' mains leads. Lehmann clone headphone amp with vintage Koss PRO-4AAA headphones.

    Tube Distinctions digital noise filter. VPI HW16.5 record cleaning machine.

    Speakers: Tannoy 15MGs in Lockwood cabinets with modified crossovers. 1967 Celestion Ditton 15.


    Protect your HUMAN RIGHTS and REFUSE ANY *MANDATORY* VACCINE FOR COVID-19!

    Also **SAY NO** to unjust 'vaccine passports' or certificates, which are totally incompatible with a FREE society!!!


  9. #1379
    Audio Al is offline Pishanto Specialist & Super-Daftee
    Join Date: May 2012

    Location: Dagenham Essex

    Posts: 11,215
    I'm Allen.

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    My ex wife was cought driving at 70mph down the A12 knitting

    The police pulled along side on lane 2 a shouted " pull over "

    My wife shouted back " No it's a scarf "
    [

  10. #1380
    Join Date: Dec 2010

    Location: North Lincs

    Posts: 193
    I'm Keith.

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    A man died after falling into a vat of coffee.

    His wife said " he didn't suffer. It was instant."

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