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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1171
    Join Date: Oct 2015

    Location: Woodmancote, West Sussex

    Posts: 1,629
    I'm Ian.

    Default

    Russell, that's so funny
    Turntable
    Toshiba SR-370/Mission 774/Van Damme cable with MS Starline plugs/Ortofon Quintet Black
    CD
    Cambridge CXC transport/modified Musical Fidelity X-DAC/modified Musical Fidelity X-10 V3 tube buffer
    Network Player
    Cambridge NP30
    Amplifier
    Denon HA-500 head amp/Nakamichi CA-5E pre-amp/Chinese passive RVC/Proton AA-1150 DMC power amp
    Speakers
    Mordaunt Short Signifer on original factory stands
    Cables
    Mogami with Rean Neutrik plugs/NVA LS5
    Headphones
    Sennheiser HD600/Sennheiser HD650/Koss Pro4 AA

  2. #1172
    Join Date: Apr 2015

    Location: Central Virginia

    Posts: 1,736
    I'm Russell.

    Default

    That’s my ex to a tee!

    Russell

  3. #1173
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Norwich

    Posts: 1,064
    I'm Mike.

    Default

    I went to my G.P. with problems down under. After initial tests, she told me that I'd have to stop masturbating. When I asked why, she said
    "Because I'm trying to examine you !".

  4. #1174
    Join Date: Apr 2012

    Location: N E Kent

    Posts: 51,624
    I'm Geoff.

    Default

    Last time I went to the doctor, he said "if you take it easy and stop smoking and drinking, you may make it back to your car".

  5. #1175
    Join Date: May 2009

    Location: Somerset, UK

    Posts: 717
    I'm King.

    Default

    A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says, "Error. Not long enough."
    King

  6. #1176
    Join Date: May 2009

    Location: Somerset, UK

    Posts: 717
    I'm King.

    Default

    Trump has two parts of brain,"left" and "right". In the left side, there 's nothing right. In the right side, there's nothing left.
    King

  7. #1177
    Join Date: Feb 2013

    Location: W Lothian

    Posts: 99,005
    I'm Grant.

    Default Jokes & Funnies

    Clever man. Pity he is such an asshole
    Regards,
    Grant .... ؠ ......Don't be such a big girl's blouse

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply-doesn't-work
    .... ..... ...... ...... ................... ..... ..... ..... ..... .....
    FIIO K7 BT, M11 PLUS, BTR7, KA5 - OPPO BDP-103D - PANASONIC UB450 - PANASONIC 4K ULTRA HD TV - PIXEL 6 - AVANTREE LR BLUETOOTH - 2* X600 SOUNDCORE - HEADPHONES INCLUDE, FIIO, NURAPHONES', FOCAL, OPPO, BOSE, CAMBRIDGE, BOWER & WILKINS, DEVIALET, MARSHALL, SONY, MITCHELL & JOHNSTON - 2*ZBOOK'S- MERCURY BD ROM, ROON, QOBUZ, TIDAL, PLEX, CYBERLINK, JRIVER - MULTI HDD'S -

    Oh my god! There's nothing wrong with the bidet is there?

    “Nothing discloses real character like the use of power. It is easy for the weak to be gentle. Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power. This is the supreme test. It is the glory of Lincoln that, having almost absolute power, he never abused it, except on the side of mercy".

    “You see these dictators on their pedestals, surrounded by the bayonets of their soldiers and the truncheons of their police ... yet in their hearts there is unspoken fear. They are afraid of words and thoughts: words spoken abroad, thoughts stirring at home -- all the more powerful because forbidden -- terrify them. A little mouse of thought appears in the room, and even the mightiest potentates are thrown into panic.”

    "You don't have free will. You have the appearance of free will.”

    “There's a war out there, old friend. A world war. And it's not about who's got the most bullets. It's about who controls the information. What we see and hear, how we work, what we think... it's all about the information!”


    ***SMILE, BE HAPPY***

  8. #1178
    Join Date: Jul 2014

    Location: Shropshire

    Posts: 2,420
    I'm Anto.

    Default

    A man called Simon goes on Stars in their eyes & Mathew Kelly notices he's in a wheelchair.
    Mathew asks, what happened ?
    I was in a car crash with my Uncle. He died & I had to have my legs amputated. But they saved my uncle's legs & grafted them onto me, in six months time I will be able to walk again.
    That's amazing say's Mathew. Who are you going to be for us tonight then ?
    Tonight Mathew I'm going to be,
    Simon & Half Uncle.
    I only ride 'em, I don't know what makes 'em work

  9. #1179
    Join Date: Nov 2013

    Location: Powys

    Posts: 1,199
    I'm David.

    Default

    Had a really encouraging first day as a sound engineer, I got amazing feedback.

  10. #1180
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Norwich

    Posts: 1,064
    I'm Mike.

    Default

    Which main London railway terminus is used by Billingsgate to send out lobsters and crabs to the provinces ?

    King's Crustacean.


    I spent all day Sunday sending distress calls and really developed a flare for it.


    Conjunctivitis.com really is a site for sore eyes.


    I've just got myself a new dry-wipe white board. It really is remarkable !


    What would happen if the Universe exploded ?

    No matter.

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