Jokes & Funnies

[Ian7633]

[Ian7633]

[mad-moon]

I caught my friend drinking brake fluid yesterday...he confessed to drinking it for over two years. He said he could stop anytime he wanted to...

[struth]

May all your doughnuts look like fanny's

[Beobloke]

I went to a fortune teller last week and she said I was going to come into some money.

I thought “What a load of nonsense” but then I shagged a girl called Penny last night.

[Audio Al]

I went to a fortune teller last week and she said I was going to come into some money.


And I thought you were having a wa-k in the till

[Oddball]

George and his wife Betty went to the air show every year.
And every year George would say,
'Betty, I'd just love a ride in that helicopter'
Betty always replied,
'I know George, but that helicopter ride is fifty quid,
And fifty quid is fifty quid!!!!'
One year George and Betty went to the show, and George said,
'Betty, I'm 70 years old.
If I don't ride in that helicopter now, who knows, I might never get another chance'
Betty replied,
"George you know that helicopter ride is fifty quid, and fifty quid is fifty quid'.
The pilot overheard the couple and said,
'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride.
If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!
But if you say one word its fifty quid.'
George and Betty agreed and up they went.
The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.
He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,
But still not a word...
When they landed, the pilot turned to George and said,
'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.
I'm impressed!'
George replied,
'Well, to tell you the truth,
I almost said something when Betty fell out,
But you know,
"Fifty quid is fifty quid!'

[guy]

^^^ beautiful

[Ian7633]

[Ali Tait]