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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1251
    Join Date: Oct 2012

    Location: The Black Country

    Posts: 6,089
    I'm Alan.

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    Slapper with a deformed arse IMHO, jeez I don't see this bum lift craze doing any favours for all the air heads about.


  2. #1252
    Join Date: Dec 2010

    Location: North Lincs

    Posts: 193
    I'm Keith.

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    Good ones Mike

  3. #1253
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Norwich

    Posts: 1,064
    I'm Mike.

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    In my affluent youth I had a pair of trousers made entirely from spiders' silk. Couldn't wear them because the flies kept getting stuck.

    After concerned Devon locals had contacted the police, it was discovered why two grave-diggers had been wandering around Totnes cemetery for so many hours. They'd simply lost the plot.

    A sigh of relief was heard by fellow workers in a Leeds upholstery factory after they'd heard that their colleague, who'd earlier fallen into an industrial machine, was now fully recovered.

  4. #1254
    Join Date: Apr 2018

    Location: South East Cornwall

    Posts: 322
    I'm Dominic.

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    I was waiting to see the doctor in the waiting room and a young woman came in and said "Hiya Dom, what you in here for" I said "It's my cock".

    My next door neighbour came in and he said "Hello Dom, what's your problem mate?" I said "It's my cock".

    Wife's best friend walks in and says "Wotcha Dom, didn't expect to see you here, what's up? I said "It's my cock".

    The receptionist comes over to me and says "Could you please stop telling everyone you are seeing the doctor about your cock, it's not very nice telling people that. Could you please refer to it as your elbow instead!"

    My mate from work walks in and says "Hi Dom, what you in here for?" I said "It's my elbow". He then says "What's wrong with it?" I said "I have real trouble pissing out of it".



    Last time I went to the doctor's the waiting room was really crowded, so the only place I could sit down was next to a heavily pregnant young woman. After 20 minutes I thought I would try to make some small talk with this young woman to help pass the time. I said to said to her "What are you hoping for?" She replied "It's me husband's".
    CD player = Marantz CD6006
    DAC/pre = Rotel RC 1572
    Power amp = ADA PF201
    Speaks = Quadral Chromium Style 6

  5. #1255
    Join Date: Nov 2013

    Location: Powys

    Posts: 1,199
    I'm David.

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  6. #1256
    Join Date: Apr 2011

    Location: Surrey

    Posts: 4,162
    I'm Mike.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike Reed View Post
    I empathise with you ! The name is vaguely familiar, but could be a footballer for all I know/care.


    For a change, I ate three tins of alphabet soup for dinner last evening. Wish I hadn't, though, as it caused a massive vowel movement this morning.

    I do wish I'd bought my baked beans on line, but Heinz' site is a wonderful thing.

    Had a dodgy curry at my local last night and ended up paying for it with violent diarrhoea. With hindsight, I think the chap on the till would have preferred cash.

    I have a weird audiophile friend who can only sleep comfortably on stacks of magazines. To be fair, though, he does have a lot of back issues.

    A rich business friend of Sean Connery tried to buy some of his oil rights from him, but was told that they weren't for shale.

    Wonderful
    TAD CD / DAC / Pre, Technics 1210, MCRU PSU, Mike New Bearing & Platter, Stillpoints LP1 weight, Speedy Steve Ebony armboard, Fidelity Research FR64FX arm, Ortofon SPU. Aurorasound VIDA Phono Pre Amp, TAD Power Amp, TAD E1 speakers. Coherent RTZ 3 Grounding box, Coherent grounding cables, Creaktiv racks. Coherent Mains Cables. SR Blue Fuse. Interconnects : Coherent and Yannis 223.5 Connect Litz. Coherent speaker cable. Audio Magic Transcendence Conditioner. Coherent mains socket. Mains Filters : , PS Audio Harvesters, Russ Andrews Purifiers, Tacima, Vertex. Black Ravioli and RDC supports. Electric Beach S1NX platforms for TAD CD and Technics. Ferrite chokes everywhere except the above. Ears, brain

    Mike

  7. #1257
    Join Date: Jul 2009

    Location: Hampshire, UK

    Posts: 3,662
    I'm Adam.

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    I bought the new "Best of Prince" CD last night. It cost me £20 but I partied like it was £19.99
    Engineers: fixing problems you didn't know you had in ways you don't understand.

  8. #1258
    Join Date: Jan 2008

    Location: Norwich

    Posts: 1,064
    I'm Mike.

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    Local band did a gig on an improvised stage in the market square. It collapsed half way through, causing cancellation and a few minor injuries. The manager said it was simply a stage that new bands go through.

    A prisoner complained about his freezing cell from the draughts at his window so the warder put another bar on.

    I had a long discussion with fellow writers about literature's past, present and future. It was a tense debate !

  9. #1259
    Audio Al is offline Pishanto Specialist & Super-Daftee
    Join Date: May 2012

    Location: Dagenham Essex

    Posts: 11,215
    I'm Allen.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Beobloke View Post
    I bought the new "Best of Prince" CD last night. It cost me £20 but I partied like it was £19.99
    [

  10. #1260
    Join Date: Dec 2017

    Location: Manchester

    Posts: 359
    I'm John.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Ian7633 View Post
    [IMG][/IMG]


    Sent from my SM-G920F using Tapatalk

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