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Thread: Jokes & Funnies

  1. #1351
    Join Date: Jun 2014

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex_UK View Post
    That's the one I went to, and there was a baguette in a cage. The keeper told me it was bread in captivity.
    Dough!
    I just dropped in, to see what condition my condition was in

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  2. #1352
    Join Date: Nov 2013

    Location: Powys

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    I'm David.

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  3. #1353
    Join Date: Feb 2013

    Location: W Lothian

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    I'm Grant.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mr sneff View Post
    Good one... Is there a camera in my house? Lol
    Regards,
    Grant .... ؠ ......Don't be such a big girl's blouse

    I've said it before and I'll say it again: democracy simply-doesn't-work
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    Oh my god! There's nothing wrong with the bidet is there?

    “Nothing discloses real character like the use of power. It is easy for the weak to be gentle. Most people can bear adversity. But if you wish to know what a man really is, give him power. This is the supreme test. It is the glory of Lincoln that, having almost absolute power, he never abused it, except on the side of mercy".

    “You see these dictators on their pedestals, surrounded by the bayonets of their soldiers and the truncheons of their police ... yet in their hearts there is unspoken fear. They are afraid of words and thoughts: words spoken abroad, thoughts stirring at home -- all the more powerful because forbidden -- terrify them. A little mouse of thought appears in the room, and even the mightiest potentates are thrown into panic.”

    "You don't have free will. You have the appearance of free will.”

    “There's a war out there, old friend. A world war. And it's not about who's got the most bullets. It's about who controls the information. What we see and hear, how we work, what we think... it's all about the information!”


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  4. #1354
    Join Date: Apr 2012

    Location: N E Kent

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    I'm Geoff.

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    +1 Good one!
    It is impossible for anything digital to sound analogue, because it isn't analogue!

  5. #1355
    Join Date: Jan 2019

    Location: Kent UK

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    I'm Martin.

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    Boom

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  6. #1356
    Join Date: Jan 2013

    Location: North East

    Posts: 12,011
    I'm Alan.

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    David Beckham gets into a taxi and he sees the driver looking at him in the rear view mirror.....

    OK give us a clue mate, he says

    Beckham says I had a glittering career at Manchester United, I married a Spice Girl and got over 100 caps playing football for England, is that enough?

    Driver says....No you thick cunt... where to?
    'ANDSOME IN THE SUMMER..'ORIBBLE IN THE WINTER. Barney Milne

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  7. #1357
    Join Date: Jan 2019

    Location: Kent UK

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    I'm Martin.

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    Love is blind

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  8. #1358
    Alex_UK's Avatar
    Alex_UK is offline Spotify + Facebook Moderator / Chilled-Out Wino and only here for the shilling
    Join Date: Aug 2009

    Location: Sunny Suffolk, UK

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    I'm WrappingALilacCurtainAroundMyBobby.

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    Q/ What do you call a Canadian popstar with a small penis?
    A/ Justin Beaver
    Alex

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  9. #1359
    Join Date: Jan 2013

    Location: North East

    Posts: 12,011
    I'm Alan.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alex_UK View Post
    Q/ What do you call a Canadian popstar with a small penis?
    A/ Justin Beaver
    very good....I like short jokes...
    'ANDSOME IN THE SUMMER..'ORIBBLE IN THE WINTER. Barney Milne

    Cambridge Audio CXN, Seagate nas drive, Michell Gyrodec SE, SME309, Benz M2 Ruby cantilever, Denon DL103, Primare R32, Densen D20, Densen D30, Cambridge Audio 840A V2 integrated, Pioneer SX-N30AE Network Stereo Receiver, Roksan Darius speakers, Technics speakers, Canon speakers, Bastanis Dragonfly Horns, REL Storm III sub, Target R1 speaker stands, Atacama Equinox.

  10. #1360
    Join Date: Jul 2017

    Location: Kent

    Posts: 550
    I'm Paul.

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    Sounds about right

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