Noisy Food

[Puffin]

It would stop if you shot her.

Marco.

Nah...I've tried that

[twickers]

Bit left field but do you find noisy food annoying?

Things like Japanese Rice Crackers, Crunchy Apples, Boiled Sweets etc. It drives me a bit mad hearing people eat these foods. Her indoors was crunching Rice Crackers at the weekend and it sounded like she was devouring some old bones, Tonight it was a very crisp apple with the same noise level being emitted. Should I see a psychiatrist

If the misses is devouring my bone, I never complain. No matter how much noise she makes.

[Puffin]

Dear Rob from Surrey

This malaise afflicts many. There are several possible solutions.
● Place a sign at your front door: 'Guests must eat with their mouth closed' or 'Quarantine area: Mad Husband Disease'
● Purchase 'er indoors a holiday to New Caledonia (opps I forgot to get a return ticket)
● Play Diana Krall music - this always works but the cure may be worse than the disease
● Keeps loads of English Wine Gums handy
Whatever you do don't see a shrink. They are all nutters as you can tell from the fact they have beards and wear pajamas to bed. You will get some daft advice like 'Go and get a job in a canning factory so when you get home you will have relative peace' when what you really want is a piece of your relative.

Best Wishes from Aunt Agatha

Brilliant! LOL

[Ninanina]

If the misses is devouring my bone, I never complain. No matter how much noise she makes.

Yr sooo funny... he he he ...

[Ninanina]

If you want the MOST crunchy thing ever, and the loudest to eat try these:

http://krisprolls.com/

They are also very tasty indeed, just very very noisy....!!!!

[walpurgis]

A few sticks of celery and a pack of french toast should do the job!

[cloth-ears]

This is the funniest thing I have seen in ages, probably because I rarely ever go to the cinema, but was there on Sat.

I wish I could say it was mine but it’s one of Steven Wright’s. He always makes me laugh

[Puffin]

I wish I could say it was mine but it’s one of Steven Wright’s. He always makes me laugh

I loved his "I woke up this morning to find that someone had entered my apartment, stolen all the furniture and replaced it with exact replica's"

[pjdowns]

Bit left field but do you find noisy food annoying?

Things like Japanese Rice Crackers, Crunchy Apples, Boiled Sweets etc. It drives me a bit mad hearing people eat these foods. Her indoors was crunching Rice Crackers at the weekend and it sounded like she was devouring some old bones, Tonight it was a very crisp apple with the same noise level being emitted. Should I see a psychiatrist

This is something I wholeheartedly agree with you on Rob... noisy food (and noisy eaters in general) are extremely annoying

[cloth-ears]

I loved his "I woke up this morning to find that someone had entered my apartment, stolen all the furniture and replaced it with exact replica's"

Yes, and when I told my friend he said “who are you”. The man's a genius