Torch batteries dead
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Torch batteries dead
Torchy is dead!
poor battery boy
he's pretty dim
long-live iPhone boy
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and android girl
Giving Cyber Sex
on the airways
Surfing like’n Alien
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fast broad band
Deleting browser history
wipe the slate
ghosts in machine
Haunting is daunting
Hairy is scary
Bald is cauld
cheap and cheerful
poor is-the pits
Down and out
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On your arse
are latex pants
heat shrink fit
cause excess sweat
Water filled balloon
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Gives good soaking
Clean as whistle
dry cleaned suit
Suits you Sir!
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Check the lining
drink the contents
adorning delightful visage
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a buxom trollop
with willing lips
sucks iced pole
the slippery slope
before the grope
yo bro innit
quieter than quiet
loft my falf-teef
snappers gotta-yir ass
Dirty paparazzi perverts
Need locking up
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ten years after
Hounding the public
at Cricklewood Green
while shining balls
Full to maximum
low on fuel
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running on fumes
fart gas rules!