Jokes & Funnies

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The Grand Wazoo

We had a power cut this morning and my PC, laptop, TV, DVD, iPad & hifi were all shut down.

Then I discovered that my iPhone battery was flat and what's more, it was raining outside, so I couldn't even go and play golf.

I went into the kitchen to make some coffee and then I remembered that this also needs power, so I sat and talked with my wife for a few hours.

And do you know what? She actually seems like a nice person

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You never struck me as a golf player Chris - but then what do I know!

Hah!
No, and nor do I own an ipad or iphone, I'm not bothered by rain, and what's more I've always known my wife is a nice person!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The Grand Wazoo

Hah!
No, and nor do I own an ipad or iphone, I'm not bothered by rain, and what's more I've always known my wife is a nice person!

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Wait till you meet her again
:)

Q. How does one get a fat girl into bed?

A. Piece o' cake

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hudz

Q. How does one get a fat girl into bed?

A.Piece o' cake

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:lol:

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y19...RKCQAAj-E-.jpg

Al, there's yer new avatar! :lol: :lol:

Marco.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GLKlzWuNbW...I/s1600/ss.jpg

:)

Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken wall at 10 Downing Street. One from London, another from Bristol and the third, Liverpool.

They go with a government official to examine the wall.

The London contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil.

'Well', he says, 'I figure the job will run about £900: £400 for materials, £400 for my crew and £100 profit for me.'

The Bristol contractor also does some measuring and figuring, and then says, 'I can do this job for £700: £300 for materials, £300 for my crew and £100 profit for me.'

The Liverpool contractor doesn't measure or do figures but leans over to the Government official and whispers, "£2,700"

The official, incredulous, says, 'You didn't even measure like the other guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?'

The Liverpool contractor whispers back, '£1000 for me, £1000 for you, and we hire the guy from Bristol to fix the wall.'

'Done!' replies the government official.