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I suspect we're not likely "Subject Matter Experts" here Nina. For what it's worth, I did get my back waxed once (in my above mentioned "bachelor period" as it happens!) and that was excruciating (so I stopped at back, no sack or crack, nooooo siiirrreee!)
That might be true Alex...
I think I will give it a go though... if only to rule it in or out I guess... ;)
Would it be like forest clearance, or more like tidying up the lawn?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninanina
I pulled a nose hair once.. Lol
Also waxed the wife a few times
That was fun... For me lol
:rfl:Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe
Definitely just a tidy up Joe....
My ex wife did her tidying up when in the shower , Then blamed me for all the hair in the plug hole :eek::doh:
Ouch Al.... :doh:Quote:
Originally Posted by Audio Al
I can't shave as my skin is too sensitive for that...apart from legs, they are ok being shaved..
Always happy to 'go there', but I'm by no means an expert, not even a gifted amateur. Although 'lady gardening' as a career move does appeal to me.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninanina
Excuse my ignorance, but does the 'landing strip' include landing lights? Safety has to be paramount - imagine it's night time, no landing lights, and a Being 767 comes in to land, when you were really expecting a Cessna. :eek:
And what's a 'Hollywood' look? Would it include a red carpet like at the Oscars?
https://youtu.be/kuD8sukGLuo
Well that was a rubbish vid sound wise. Oh well
Absolutely, and what happens if the flaps won't open, when the plane's about to land, if they haven't been serviced recently? The starboard release flange needs regular lubricating. And we haven't discussed traffic control... How many planes are allowed to enter the landing strip at once?Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
In any case, I suspect that only jumbo jets are allowed to entry to Bev's airport.
Marco.
a jumbo dont need no stinkin' flaps :eyebrows:Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
You need to learn how to embed YT vids, like so:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
https://youtu.be/kuD8sukGLuo
Daddy will teach you;)
Marco.
Cheers Marco, a great comedy moment I think.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
Apparently it was done 'live', and no special effects, just one painful take.
As many airports have more than one landing strip, the landing lights are extra important - If the jumbo jet accidentally comes into runway 2 without permission from air traffic control the pilot would be in the shit, for sure. :eek:
Ryanair levy a surcharge for using runway two.
No there won't be any landing lights :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
You have to remember there are wide bodied jets as well as jumbo's and either would be a snug fit in my airport :eyebrows:Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
:rfl::rfl: Now that one really cracked me up... :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
And after a 20 mile bike ride today my 'undercarriage' is a bit sore... ouchy.... :doh:
If I were a lady cyclist (and there's more chance of me becoming a lady than a cyclist) I would consider wearing one of those Tena lady jobbies, even if my bladder control was tickety-boo. The woman on the advert seems to like them :) Quite discrete too, which may be a concern when you consider that some frustrated car driver is going to be staring at your backside for some time.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninanina
I used to shoot with some guy who was also a keen road rider, and he once told me that it was common practice to put banana skins down their shorts to cool/lubricate the area. Don't know whether this is true or if he just said it because I was eating a banana at the time. In any case it put me right off bananas, all I can think about is his sweaty arse crack :booty:
I think Tena's are nasty things .. my cycling shorts are padded anyway.. I've just ordered a short cycling skirt which is also padded...Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
:lol: I definitely won't be putting a banana skin down my shorts though.. the idea is to wear no nicks underneath and use Chamois Creme but although I go naked I don't use the creme...:eyebrows:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
Cycling along the towpath yesterday from Putney Bridge to Hammersmith where the boat race starts, a thought suddenly crossed my mind.
Don't know who s in the lead its either Oxford or Cambridge !. Yes, these words were uttered by the revered sports commentator John Snagg
many years ago. Well, as these were the only 2 teams in the race that assumption was always likely to be correct. Some strange thoughts crop up
in the mind when cycling I find. Just ask Bev ;)
The strange thoughts start when first peering through the window of the cycle shop, and then it just gets worse.
I blame the lycra - designed to fit the Bradley Wiggins shape, any deviation from this (ie fat blokes) will cause constriction of the blood vessels, particularly to the brain area. Symptoms include poor spatial awareness, antisocial behaviour and impaired vision (explains why they can look in a mirror and think "hey I look pretty good in this").
Bev is an exception in that she doesn't need to be cycling - she has strange thoughts any time of the day, although they do seem to get weirder as the evening draws in :D No complaints here though, I'm a big fan :)
And Marco, before you start doctoring my post, I do mean big fan, NOT big fanny.
Or maybe just fanboy ?
Not sure what a fanboy is, but I doubt it's me, I've not been any kind of boy for several decades. I went straight from teenager to grumpy old git :)
I did have a pushbike in my teens, which meant I could get to my girlfriend's house in five minutes, instead of a 30 minute walk. Which was nice. Put ape hanger bars on it which were so high the blood would drain from my arms. The sacrifices we used to make in order to look shit hot.
Were those extra 25 mins with her worth it though ?
Was for me - and it still left 20 minutes to enjoy a nice glass of Tizer :)
How Aper tizer though was she ?. Don't worry about Marco btw he s too busy somewhere else babbling on about ketchup and such like. He s dealing with the real stuff !
A girlfriend once said that mine was as thick as a can of.... And before you start, no, not my head, well not *that* 'head' anyway:eyebrows:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
Marco.
In my experience, women appreciate 'girth' more than 'length'.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
You spoke too soon! Marco has eyes everywhere. Like a potato.Quote:
Originally Posted by tapid
And yes she was very aper tizer. A red head (or ginger if you want to be bitchy), and pale skin, sort of like an upside down glass of Tizer. Very fit, but mental mental chicken oriental. Great fun when she wasn't bouncing my head off the wall.
Haha - that's why I said "thick", daftee, not long!Quote:
Originally Posted by Barry
Marco.
I could say *so* much about that, but I'll be a good boy this time and refrain:eyebrows:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
Marco.
:o:rfl::rfl:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
Only just seen this...;)
How about girth and length? now that's a good combination :eyebrows:
Yes, but is there enough room in your 'airport' to house it?:eek::D
Marco.
It'd be snug as a bug :eyebrows:
Uh? I was agreeing with you, "daftee"! ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
a bad workman praises or blames his tool. an artist just gets the job done proper.;)
Lol - I see, no worries. That's wasn't entirely obvious.
Marco.
:lolsign:Quote:
Originally Posted by struth
As they say, 'happiness is a RIDGID tool': https://www.ridgid.eu/gb/en
Marco.
Just ordered a wax warmer & wax kit so I can practice myself.. I'll try it on the legs first and see how I get on before attempting anything more ouchy.. :eek:
Lol... Just be careful not to leave any stubble, as that could cause issues for any 'exploring admirers'...:eyebrows:
Marco.
Oh there won't be any stubble left behind once I've finished with them/it...;) I'll report back once I've given it a go...
'exploring admirers' now that sounds kinda interesting...:eek:
Well it won't be bush explorers anyway!:D
Marco.
:rfl:
Indeed not..:eek:
If you've got a thin willy choose a girl who hasn't had kids. And don't make her pregnant.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
If you've got a thick one, choose a girl whose had kids.
But be aware. A baby's body or two has been through there and you're never going to compare.
There is probably no substitute for a long, thick willy, though.
That said, contemplate what percentage of your life you spend actually having sex. Chances are it is close to fuck all. So in reality it isn't important. Apart from in your own mind. And if you can't get over that fact, you probably have a problem.
This post is rated XXX. And should NOT be taken too seriously.
Fuck I quoted the wrong post.
What if she has children but by caesarean?
I've not had any children either natural or by caesarean... I've had no complaints :eek:
stick to your hifi, its simpler and cheaper:ner:
Will it still be snug as a bug in a rug, once you've rendered the rug threadbare?Quote:
Originally Posted by Ninanina
It's a shame the "seventies" look has fallen out of favour - much cheaper than dental floss, and more fun too. The only downside was that communication was more difficult due to the sound deadening - "how do you like that then" just comes out as "mmmmff, mmm, mmmffff".
Time for a bit of lateral thinking: a clever solution to a problem which didn't really exist is to grow a beard. A bit like sticking bits of carpet to the soles of your slippers as a cheap alternative to carpeting your living room :)
Don't be looking at me like that, I didn't start it, I just piled on :D
So what happens when the man sports a beard, and the woman has a 'welcome mat'?
Stop complicating matters.Quote:
Originally Posted by Macca
And you, Bev.
Grant is right.
Quote:
Originally Posted by User211
"A good big 'un will always beat a good little 'un". If you're a bloke that is.