As the mighty HMHB put it:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
'Friday night and I just love complaining
And no, I haven't got anything better to do'
'Friday Night (and the Gates are Low)'.
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As the mighty HMHB put it:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
'Friday night and I just love complaining
And no, I haven't got anything better to do'
'Friday Night (and the Gates are Low)'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe
Because their parents didn't bring them up the same way they were brought up. They listened to all the fads and the idiocy. I know people with children of similar ages at the moment, some get brought up old school, some modern and trendy. There's a big difference - the modern children are needy and badly behaved. The old school ones are more independent and are well behaved, it's like they are 3 or 4 years older.
Exactly my experience, too!:)
Marco.
I think my upbringing was pretty 'old school', that is to say that apart from the major stuff I was left to bring myself up, and this suited me fine.Quote:
Originally Posted by Macca
Getting myself up in the morning, dressing myself and making my own breakfast, and getting myself off to school. And no lifts! Taught me to be independent, and I've grown up to be pretty normal I think. Apart from the squint and the short term memory loss. Also I used to make my own breakfast and get myself off to school. Did I mention that already?
My upbringing was certainly 'old school' and pretty strict
I've turned out ok I reckon... I wouldn't say 'normal' though :doh:
The rubbing of an onion held with tongs on the hot BBQ grill to clean it is rubbish - I was disappointed. Non-treated Brillo style BBQ pad with some oil on it anyday.
Never heard of the onion trick for BBQ cleaning... ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Yomanze
Waste of an onion...........but that's Ok, I hate onion! :)
:rfl:Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
Only just seen this.... indeed.... :lol:
:eyebrows::eyebrows:
Naughty is nice;)
Marco.
Too true... I love naughty... :lol:
Now... where did I put that cu... :eyebrows:
Another successful apple danish raid. Got in there before they even turned the lights on!
Amazing what people buy. Woman in front of me was getting about ten cartons of sterilised milk and some pre-packaged salad. 'What's for tea tonight love?' - prepare to be disappointed.
He'll probably also feel the same about the underwear she's bought:eyebrows:
Now if there had been a packet of fish fingers in there....
Anyway, did you buy any real food while you were there, or are you still on your apple danish and Mars bar diet?;)
Marco.
got some yogurts and bananas, do they count?
Lol... Kind of. So what are you having for your lunch or tea today, apart from apple danishes?
Marco.
Probably have a chippy tea. Or lamb chops from Kebab City. Depends what I fancy later on.
Ah, so that's the answer... You actually eat FOOD, just that you don't cook much of it yourself, and which is therefore reflected in your supermarket shopping;)
Marco.
Pretty much. Lots of good take-aways here within a few hundred yards, why bother doing it yourself?
its a solution, no doubt... would do it myself if richer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Macca
I'm cash rich and time poor. When it's the other way around I cook for myself.
Big rationalisation coming up at work though so might soon be back to that. :)
Whatever works mate, but not exactly healthy...Quote:
Originally Posted by Macca
Marco.
They cook the lamb chops, or I cook them, don't see what difference it makes health-wise.
Not so much that, but normal takeaways, such as curries, Chinese and fish and chips. It's all the saturated fat and salt. You might not put weight on, but it impacts adversely on your cholesterol levels and blood pressure, which is very bad for you.
Plus, with me, I like knowing what goes in my food and how clean the kitchen is where it's been prepared/cooked (and also the hands of person cooking it), and how fresh the raw ingredients are, none of which is possible with takeaway food, which is why I rarely have it.
Aside from anything else, high standards of food hygiene for me are absolutely paramount:)
Marco.
Luckily for your mum and dad (and you), the good people of Glasgow didn't share your views on takeaways :D You do seem to frequent a lot of small and family-run restaurants, and presumably the same rules apply there. Do they not get the hump when you insist on inspecting the kitchen and staff prior to ordering your meal?Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
Lol... Firstly, about our chip-shops, you're absolutely right! It's was (and still is, if you run a chippy) about targeting a market, and what essentially is a British tradition. You'll never find a chip-shop in Italy, but that doesn't mean there's not a good business to be had from selling the product to the Brits!;)
We rarely ate fish and chips ourselves (or deep-fried food like that), maybe once a week, tops, despite it essentially being a free meal, but there were huge queues outside both our shops on Friday and Saturday nights, in particular, as my did was a stickler for the quality of food he served to his customers, and his shops were always spotless [just the way he is/was]:)
As for the pubs we go to for lunch, well yes, you can't inspect their kitchens, but that's a chance I'm willing to take, as I like a nice pint of beer and also someone else doing all the cooking and washing up for a change, and of course we're fussy about where we eat out!
Takeaways, I can take or leave (no pun intended), and have them pretty infrequently. I much prefer Del's cooking, whether it be traditional Italian food, French or Chinese or Indian!:D
Macca's had one of her curries., which I believe he quite enjoyed.....
Marco.
I'm guessing then that your dad may have done his fish & chips English style rather than Scottish :D
This may be a presumption, but the last two times I visited a Scottish chippy (once in Dumfries across from McDonalds and once from an establishment called Frankies on the road up to Ayr) the salt covered everything like snow and I had to launch the top third of the meal. And the pie I bought at Frankies, well, I bit into the pie and about half a pint of liquid fat burst out and soaked the front of my new blouse. What's that all about? Deep fried pie?
We always asked customers if they wanted salt or vinegar, and if they said yes to one or the other, or both, put it on slowly in front of them, and allowed them to say how much they wanted. No way would it be drowned in salt or vinegar, unless that's what was wanted.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
Plus, the fish used (mostly haddock or whiting) was always obtained fresh from the market in Glasgow, and *never* frozen (as is the case now in the majority of chippies ), which makes a huge difference. My dad also had his own 'secret' batter recipe, and even mixed his own malt vinegar, which had a bit more of a 'kick' to it than the usual stuff, and which customers loved. He only ever used Maris Piper or Kerr's Pinks potatoes [the best for making chips], and all chips were cut and made fresh on the premises, not bought in already cut, as so often is the case these days.
That's where the habit of 'if you're going to do a job, then do it right, or not at all' was instilled in me, which is why anything important I've ever done in life has always been done to the best of my ability, and never half-heartedly!:cool:
Marco.
I don't care about any of that. I have whatever I fancy, healthy or not.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
As malt vinegar sold for commercial use is a concentrate, the user can decide how much dilution is required. The concentrate itself is pretty minging though.
Anita managed a chippy for a few years, and before that she had her own mobile chippy van which did well until husband number two decided it wasn't worth him missing his "tea on the table when I get home", and made her sell it. So she knows a thing or two about catering. And has become more discerning in her choice of blokes :)
Fair enough, that's up to you. I'm rather different. It's one of the reasons why my doctor doesn't know me, and I'm almost never ill:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Macca
Marco.
I think he used to experiment with various flavourings and (I think) acetic acids, to give the vinegar he used a unique taste. Customers often asked for little bottles of it to take home.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
Sounds like a real dinosaur!:rolleyes: I wouldn't have lasted five minutes being like that with Del!! And she wouldn't treat me that way either. I shake my head in disbelief sometimes at what some folk appear to consider as acceptable behaviour in a relationship...:doh:Quote:
Anita managed a chippy for a few years, and before that she had her own mobile chippy van which did well until husband number two decided it wasn't worth him missing his "tea on the table when I get home", and made her sell it. So she knows a thing or two about catering. And has become more discerning in her choice of blokes :)
But yes, I'm sure Anita knew what she was doing when she was in the trade. So in terms of blokes, are you a cut above from what she was used to before [although maybe not in trouser dept]?:D;)
Marco.
Ah, the trouser dept, I have fond memories of that. Here at PonyMart, during the latest 'rationalisation', the trouser department was closed down as it wasn't paying its way. We managed to hold on to the staff though, we moved them over to Complaints/returns, which has never been busier.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
We could write a book on all the different ways that controlling, coercive pile of shit tried to ruin Anita's spirit, but for that you'll have to wait for the book to come out. So he didn't set the bar very high for me. So far I've lasted about twice as long as he did :)
Lol - or exchanges... Then if *it* is disappointing/unfit for purpose, IT can be changed/upgraded for a better model...:eyebrows:Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
And I'm sure that'll continue, as long as she continues wearing the trousers!:lol:Quote:
We could write a book on all the different ways that controlling, coercive pile of shit tried to ruin Anita's spirit, but for that you'll have to wait for the book to come out. So he didn't set the bar very high for me. So far I've lasted about twice as long as he did :)
Only kidding... I don't believe in any of that bollox, or who's 'the boss', and neither does Del... There should be NO 'boss' in a healthy relationship, but rather two equal partners, both working together as a team and playing to each others strengths - and when necessary practising some give and take, for each others mutual benefit or pleasure.
That's why when I see the term 'SWMBO' being bandied about forums, especially in relation to someone (usually a man, but the same would equally apply as 'HWMBO', if it were a woman), not being 'allowed' to have a certain pair of speakers in the lounge, or whatever, it really boils my piss... What the hell's that BULLSHITE about? Why does she (or he) always have the final say and make all the decisions??
And what's most worrying/alarming of all, is that this is presumed as being 'the norm'... Well, not in my world! You often hear (mainly men) uttering this sort of nonsense: "I just do what I'm told for a quiet life". Eh...?:scratch: So you've effectively just signed up for life to be someone's subservient puppy, and their glorified slave? What kind of 'life' is that...?
I blame the fact that a lot of men/wimps seem to like being 'mothered', and so see their wives/partners as simply a mother-replacement, and who accordingly buy/choose their clothes for them, and give them 'pocket money' to spend, after the bills have been paid, etc.. I've seen it happening many times. Very weird!
That mentality is completely alien to Del or me. In my experience however, it does seem to be largely a British thing, especially among couples 'of a certain age', and certainly doesn't occur as often in the likes of Italian (or German) households, where people, both men and women, tend to be stronger willed, thus have minds of their own. Anyway, Anita's well rid of that wanker, mate. She's now got you to enjoy for the duration!!:eek::hmm::D;)
Marco.
I think it's crazy to generalise, especially about nationalities; are most Scottish couples like most English couples, for example? All marriages are different. The fundamental point is that thinking you can 'mould' someone to how you want them to be is doomed to failure. Accept a prospective partner for what they are, and decide if you can live with them long-term on that basis (and they, of course, will have to make the same decision themselves about you).
I'm talking about Brits in general. Scottish, English, Irish - it doesn't matter: all have displayed those traits, to varying degrees. Of course I only mean "all" among those I've known, so naturally my views are simply based on that experience. There'll be plenty of others who don't exhibit those traits.Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe
However, how often do you read on UK-based hi-fi forums about 'SWMBO' not allowing some bloke to do this or that? It's rife...
So that also confirms my views, and if you look, you'll not notice many 'foreigners' coming out with that crap. 9 times out of 10, it's someone from the UK, bemoaning that 'her indoors' won't allow him to get something (usually a big pair of speakers) - and that simply backs up what I've also seen in real life with my own eyes.
If my dad had tried that crap with my mum, she'd have given him a well-deserved slap, and vice versa. The same goes in my marriage, and that of anyone else in my family. No-one would put up with being a subservient sheep:nono:
Indeed. I couldn't agree more. However, one wonders whether some 'marriages' are actually anything of the sort, and more closet dictatorships? Tip: if one person in a relationship starts talking about being 'the boss', then run while you can!! :exactly:Quote:
All marriages are different. The fundamental point is that thinking you can 'mould' someone to how you want them to be is doomed to failure. Accept a prospective partner for what they are, and decide if you can live with them long-term on that basis (and they, of course, will have to make the same decision themselves about you).
Marco.
I also think the idea that hen pecked husbands is 'largely a British thing' to be absurd. I don't recall Rab C Nesbitt ruling the roof over his wife (or 'hen').
Well, Rab was British, wasn't he? Or does being Scottish exclude you from British citizenship?;)
As I said, I can only speak from my particular experience. However, next time you see the term "SWMBO" used on a hi-fi forum, take a note of the context and where that person is from, and over the course of a year, I guarantee that on somewhere such as here or pfm, both of which are UK-based forums, but with worldwide membership, you'll see more evidence of hen-pecked Brits than foreigners.....
Even if you examine some of the British sitcoms, shown on TV over the years, portraying the lives of married couples, how often was the man portrayed as the 'meek, subservient husband'? I can think of loads, especially during the 70s, and not many (if any) the other way round! Terry & June, George and Mildred, Keeping Up Appearances, to name but three - all featuring heavily henpecked hubbies...
And I can assure you, that's not something you'd have seen in the likes of Italy, France or Germany, then or now!
Marco.
Yebbut these are postings on British hifi forums, which are overwhelmingly populated by British people. We don't know whether, for example, such things are mentioned on Italian or Greek hifi forums, and we wouldn't be able to read them if they were.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
Sitcoms are obviously true-to-life. In reality of course, men were in charge throughout the 1960s and 70s when these sitcoms were made, and the reality for most households was that the husband (who went out to work) usually dictated to the wife (who stayed at home).Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
The sitcom relationship is comical because the idea (especially pre 1980s) of the woman being the dominant force in the relationship was absurd and hen-pecked husbands are intrinsic figures of fun. And yes, other cultures have similar sitcoms. You don't see them here because they are 'in foreign' and are mostly ripped off from our originals anyway. There's about 6 different foreign take offs of 'Only Fools And Horses.' And the Yanks ripped off Alf Garnet, Steptoe and Son and so on.
In the modern sitcom things have only subtly changed. Women are portrayed as smart and capable and men are dumb and useless. Sadly you also see this sort of emasculation presented in modern children's programmes e.g Peppa Pig. Which is far more insidious, and if you did it in reverse there would be a politically correct outcry like you wouldn't believe. (Would never happen though as a smart man getting the better of a stupid woman isn't funny, so you never see that in comedy of any period or nationality).
Yes of course, but the point is there are still more than enough non-Brits posting there for it to be a bit of a 'coincidence' that it rarely, if ever, comes up, even under a different guise.Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe
In my experience, they (especially females) tend to be a bit more accommodating than their British counterparts, which is often reflected in the pictures of member systems and the rooms housing them, shared by married couples or folks living with each other.
Examine how often the hi-fi system is treated as an accepted part of their lives and communal living spaces, and in comparison, how much 'we' talk about 'man caves', etc, and being forced to enjoy our hi-fi or music listening habits alone, or even banished to the garden, because of 'SWMBO'!:D
I would agree only insofar as who occupied the most responsible/best paid positions in the working environment (which thankfully is changing now and much improved from what it once was, as I'm all for women's equality).Quote:
Sitcoms are obviously true-to-life. In reality of course, men were in charge throughout the 1960s and 70s when these sitcoms were made, and the reality for most households was that the husband (who went out to work) usually dictated to the wife (who stayed at home).
However, not at home, where in my experience, gained from watching the behaviour of my British friends and/or work colleagues, men were (and still are) largely bossed by their wives, and the sitcoms/soaps of the day reflected that situation, as it's what the majority of viewers would've expected and considered as the norm.
Marco.
Funny then how I saw it regularly being lived out in front of my eyes when I was a kid and teenager, going round to the houses of my British (Scottish) friends - and how the male/female relationship of their parents, in terms of who was 'in charge', was markedly different from what I experienced at home?Quote:
Originally Posted by Macca
What was it like in your house, in terms of that, when you were a kid: did your parents treat each other as equals, or did one like to think that they were 'the boss', and therefore made all or most of the decisions? For me also, although henpecked husbands were undoubtedly figures of fun in sitcoms, it also largely reflected real life. Like you say, if it had been the other way round, it wouldn't have been funny, so that's why it wasn't done. It wasn't that henpecked husbands weren't in fact a very real phenomenon!
In my job as a salesman, selling all sorts of stuff, over many years to couples living together, married or otherwise, if I'd earned a pound every time I made a sale, where quite clearly, the woman turned out to be the decision maker at home, I can tell you I'd be much richer than if I'd applied the same to the men!;)
It'd be interesting to hear Pigmy's take on this, as he'll be used to similar, when out selling PVC windows. doors and conservatories... And in his experience, who generally gets their own way more, the lady of the house or the man?
Anyway, I suspect we'll just have to agree to disagree on this, which is absolutely fine:)
Marco.
My mother would nag and complain incessantly, my father would mostly ignore her. Make of that what you will. There was rarely any spare money so no decisions about what to spend it on had to be made in any case.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
Regardless of culture I'd say that in general women have a very clear idea of what they want. Men are generally happy to go along with that, not just for an easy life but because they really are not bothered what colour the kitchen worktops are or where to go on holiday. They might have a preference but not so much as the woman for whom such things are a much bigger deal.
The only times I ever saw my father put his foot down was if it was something that was going to cost a lot of money and was not absolutely necessary, or if something clashed with the football.
my parents were very much equals. sure they argued but no-one had the upper hand. some jobs were obviously more done by one or other tho.if my dad wanted something he would most likely get it. mum wanted less for herself in general i think being a mum, but got anything she wanted too, as long as we could afford it of course.
my dad, or mum wouldnt dare order the other about.
i was the same with wife mostly too.
Well, quite. For most blokes, a chair is just something to sit on; as long as it's comfortable, the colour is irrelevant. It's mainly women who spend hours/days/weeks trying to decide exactly what chair to get, in which fabric. The same with clothes. For blokes, it's usually a case of 'these keks are falling to bits, I need to get a new pair', and also usually a case of buying the same or as near as dammit to what needs replacing.Quote:
Originally Posted by Macca
Lol - that must've been a nightmare to have had to sit and listen to! What was she so unhappy about?Quote:
Originally Posted by Macca
*So* very different from how I grew up... My mum very rarely nagged, and generally was as happy as a pig in shit, simply being the archetypal/textbook housewife and mother, and revelling in the role. Yes, my parents had arguments, quite often heated ones (as both were strong-minded, fiery 'latin types'), but 90% of the time, the atmosphere was relaxed and convivial.
Generally how it was for me, was that mum would be 'in charge' of the house, especially the kitchen, which was fiercely 'her domain' (and that's exactly how *she* wanted it, not necessarily my dad, but he of course happily went along with that, especially as she was such a good cook!) including paying the household bills, doing the food shopping and (mostly) looking after me.
Dad would mostly be 'in charge' of the garden, the garage, where all his tools were (gardening and woodwork), and anything to do with the car or the running of the business - but - if necessary those things were still discussed between them, so it was very much a partnership, and therefore formed what I expected later in my life from a marriage or relationship.
Yes that's true, but I'd still argue that, in general, British males tend to like being 'mothered' more, and so are more tolerant/willing to put up with the behaviour of a bossy wife or partner. Btw, you should've seen the disputes Del and I had when we were designing the new kitchen from scratch!:DQuote:
Regardless of culture I'd say that in general women have a very clear idea of what they want. Men are generally happy to go along with that, not just for an easy life but because they really are not bothered what colour the kitchen worktops are or where to go on holiday. They might have a preference but not so much as the woman for whom such things are a much bigger deal.
Being very much into art and design (interior or otherwise), I 'care' just as much about such things as she does (and am not bad at it/have a decent 'eye', as it were), even though she has a degree in the subject! However, we thrash out our ideas together and eventually reach a decision that we're BOTH happy with, as I have to live with it as much as she does - arguably more, as I'm at home more than she is - plus, it's me who cleans the house!;)
So.... It's all about working together as a team, not one person riding roughshod over the other, or 'bossing' the other around. That, for me, is the norm, and so I can't understand why anyone, man or woman, would settle for anything less from a relationship:)
Marco.
We're on the same page there mate, much as I would've expected!;)Quote:
Originally Posted by struth
Marco.
:lol::lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Joe
Erm, no, not necessarily, certainly not in my case. Sorry, but that's a rather old-fashioned (and outdated) viewpoint!
Macca knows from the discussions in the mod room at the time our new kitchen was being done, how involved I was in the process. Del and I spent DAYS deciding on the colour of paint for the walls, and also the units, and even the handles on the drawers (as everything was bespoke made), not to mention anything else!:D
Marco.
I was exaggerating for comic effect, but, broadly speaking, I don't have a particularly good 'eye' for colour, and I'm not much cop at visualising what a room will look like with different furniture or a different arrangement of furniture, so I leave the important decisions on that to Caroline (though it's usually me who does the actual decorating, as she's not much cop at transferring paint from brush to wall).
No worries... And quite right too, if she's much better at it than you. That's another thing that's key to a successful relationship: always embrace and accept your limitations! But also recognise and put into practice what you're good at.
A bugbear of mine is guys trying to kid themselves on that they're good at DIY, simply because it's considered as 'manly', and so taking on jobs that they're clearly incapable of doing and making a total ARSE/pig's ear of it... That situation is made worse, when the goal was to save money from employing the services of a professional, as it usually ends up costing more to fix the subsequent mess!!:lol:
I'll do what jobs I can comfortably perform to an acceptable standard. Anything else, and I'll seek the necessary assistance. Quite simply, if you can't do a job to the same standard as a professional tradesman, then in the long run, it's a false economy. And I cannot abide 'bodges'!!:nono:
Marco.
God alone knows. I moved out the day after I finished my A levels. I had a countdown going for the last six months.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
My mother didn't go in for mothering or cooking or any of that stuff. She liked going to the shops and talking to her friends. Anything that took time away from doing that was a negative to her. My father was overseas a lot, but when he was home his attitude was that you had to work out your problems for yourself so don't come bothering him with anything. So we were left to our own devices pretty much.