Jokes & Funnies

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Marco

Wife is getting ready for a night out and standing looking at herself in front of the mirror...

She turns to her husband despondently as says: "My hair is a mess, my face is full or wrinkles and I'm fat. Pay me a compliment, darling, to cheer me up!"

The husband thinks for a minute and replies: "Well, sweetheart, there's fuck all wrong with your eyesight!!"

Marco.

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Further variation on the above. Wife says "Say something nice about my legs". The husband thinks for a while and says "Blue goes with everything".

I've made 9,999 posts on The Art of Sound & most of it's been a load of old bollocks, so here's a bit more for my 10,000th post!


A three-year-old boy was sitting in the bath, examining his testicles - he turned to his Mother.

"Mum are these my brains?”

She replied “No son, not till you're a bit older”







http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_KLaL96K9AD...-testicles.jpg



http://honewatson.files.wordpress.co...toon.jpg?w=510

Congratulations on your 10,000th post Chris. Your contribution to 'Jokes and Funnies' have always cheered me up and made me laugh!

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.

The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.This is considered a major social breakthrough ... because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

http://i419.photobucket.com/albums/p...0935userLP.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jonboy

Apple announced today that it has developed a breast implant that can store and play music.

The iTit will cost from $499 to $699, depending on cup and speaker size.This is considered a major social breakthrough ... because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

http://i419.photobucket.com/albums/p...0935userLP.jpg

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:lol:

So much for culture......
A Greek and an Italian were drinking coffee one day discussing who had the superior culture.
Over a triple latte later the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon".
Arching his eyebrows the Italian replies, "We have the Colisseum."
The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics."
The Italian, nodding in agreement, says, "But we built the Roman Empire ."
And so on and so forth until the Greek comes up with what he thinks will end the discussion.
With a flourish of finality he says, "We invented sex!"
The Italian replies, "That is true, but it was the Italians who introduced it to women."

I was at the swimming baths today and decided to have a sneaky piss in the deep end.
The life guard must have noticed. The twat blew his whistle so f'kin loud i nearly fell off the diving board!:lol:

Beryl.

Fixed your link for you Bob.
Here's how to do it

Reminds me of Jimmy Buffett, great country rock crossover with humourous lyrics...