:doh: Dough!Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_UK
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:doh: Dough!Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_UK
Good one... Is there a camera in my house? LolQuote:
Originally Posted by mr sneff
+1 Good one! :D
Boomhttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...1d9be3da3f.jpg
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David Beckham gets into a taxi and he sees the driver looking at him in the rear view mirror.....
OK give us a clue mate, he says
Beckham says I had a glittering career at Manchester United, I married a Spice Girl and got over 100 caps playing football for England, is that enough?
Driver says....No you thick cunt... where to?
Love is blindhttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...d3d73b7022.jpg
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Q/ What do you call a Canadian popstar with a small penis?
A/ Justin Beaver
very good....I like short jokes...Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_UK
Sounds about righthttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...33f50440bf.jpg
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I was told I'd never be any good at poetry due to my dyslexia, so far I've made a vase and two jugs that look really good.
Why sentence structure in English is so important...
The boss had to fire somebody, so he narrowed it down to one of two people: Mary or Jack.
It was an impossible decision because they were both decent workers.
Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who used the water cooler the next morning.
Mary came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all night.
She went over to the water cooler right away to take an aspirin.
The boss approached her and said, "Mary, I've never done this before, but I either have to lay you or Jack off."
"Could you jack off?" she said. "I feel like crap this morning...”
:lol::DQuote:
Originally Posted by mr sneff
:scratch:
lol:D
Brilliant Jerry, both, but sending the “MAMIL” one to a couple of friends... :LOL:
:lol: :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by jandl100
Courtesy of Colin (Wonfor):
https://scontent-lht6-1.xx.fbcdn.net...59&oe=5E2BE197
The Reverend John Flapps was the pastor of a small town church
in Ireland . One day he was walking down the High Street and he
noticed a young lady of his congregation sitting in a pub
drinking beer.
The Reverend wasn't happy. He walked through the open
door of the pub and sat down next to the woman.
'Mrs Fitzgerald,' he said sternly. 'This is no place for a member
of my congregation. Why don't you let me take you home?'
'Sure,' she said with a slur, obviously very drunk.
When Mrs Fitzgerald stood up from the bar, she began to weave
back and forth.
The Reverend realised that she'd had far too much to drink and
grabbed her arms to steady her. When he did, they both lost
their Balance and tumbled to the floor.
After rolling around for a few moments, the Reverend wound up
on top of Mrs. Fitzgerald, her skirt hiked up to her waist.
The pub landlord looked over and said, 'Oi Mate, we won't have
any of that carrying on in this pub.'
The Reverend looked up at the landlord and said, 'But you
don't understand, I'm Pastor Flapps.'
The landlord nodded and said,
'Oh well, if you're that far in, you might as well finish.'
There is nothing new in this world - what goes around, comes around. Here is the eighth post on this thread (made 21.03.08), courtesy of Marco
I thought it sounded familiar.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
Ha - that was a long time ago!:D
Confucious he say… Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Marco.
My ex wife was cought driving at 70mph down the A12 knitting :eek:
The police pulled along side on lane 2 a shouted " pull over "
My wife shouted back " No it's a scarf " :D
A man died after falling into a vat of coffee.
His wife said " he didn't suffer. It was instant."
:lol:
Delboy talking about his school football team. We had Camaraderie.... Trigger.... Was that the Italian boy !
Not for me at the moment. It will do at the end of the year.Quote:
Originally Posted by jandl100
I just found out cock fighting is done with chickens. Months of training wasted...
:rfl:Quote:
Originally Posted by Audio Al
+1 brilliant:lol:
Wish I could use that one in my weekly work newsletter! Brilliant! :lol:
I've just started a new business clearing up leaves. I'm raking it in!
I had a bloke round to clear the drains, but booted him as he was just going through the motions.
Heard a joke about boomerangs the other day... escapes me for the moment... I'm sure it'll come back to me.
This made me laugh...
https://pics.me.me/things-got-worse-...s-65618958.png
I had to think about that one!Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_UK
That's a blast.