A slightly different version of this isQuote:
Originally Posted by mr sneff
" What's the only animal with a cu-t half way up its back ?
A police horse " :)
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A slightly different version of this isQuote:
Originally Posted by mr sneff
" What's the only animal with a cu-t half way up its back ?
A police horse " :)
whats a cu-t?Quote:
Originally Posted by Audio Al
Bit like a tw-t. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by struth
insert a missing nQuote:
Originally Posted by struth
Ah - you must be referring to Cnut the Great, the eleventh century king of England, Denmark and Norway.Quote:
Originally Posted by Audio Al
I didn't vote for him...Quote:
Originally Posted by Barry
I didQuote:
Originally Posted by Gaz
I was in Asda today....buying a loaf of bread....I could have sworn I seen Trumps name on the packet....till I looked closer and it actually said...Thick Cut....
I'll get my coat...
woman lying naked on the bed playing with herself....young son comes in from school and catches her....he says god mar...what's that....she says, that's where your dad hit me with an axe...caw what a shot says the young'un...right in the cu_t....
Was he leave or remainQuote:
Originally Posted by Gaz
classicQuote:
Originally Posted by mr sneff
This is just wrong but funny.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fxxdqSNGEQ
Oh - that's rather good. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by mr sneff
Definitely looks whiter than the original release. I believe George Martin had to make do with Tide washing powder, whereas son Giles had access to the latest Arial pods.Quote:
Originally Posted by mr sneff
What do you call a girl with a fried egg on one cheek, a rasher of bacon on the other and a cup of tea on her head?...……..Caffy
Some yolk[emoji23]
My boss said I could leave work early if I made up the time.
I said “It’s 20 past rhubarb. Goodbye!”
Husband:- Darling why do you never tell me when you have an orgasm?
Wife :- Dear you know I don't like ringing you at work.
A high court judge who's had far too much to drink is on the train home when he starts to feel really sick. All of a sudden he throws up all over himself. Worried what his wife will say when he gets home he creeps up the stairs and goes to sleep in the spare room. The next day his wife asks what happened so he makes up a story about a very drunk man on the train who upset everyone and when he challenged the drunk he threw up all over him. He had the drunk arrested by the police and is going to hear his case in court today and is going to throw the book at him. His wife gives him a very hard stare and says just make sure you do because he shit in your pants as well.
:lol: Quality
A middle aged woman was working at her drug store when she saw a young man come in. She asked him, “Can I help you with anything?”. And the young man replied, “I’ve had a constant erection for the past two months! And it’s driving me crazy. What can I get for it?”. The woman pondered for a moment and said, “how about $500 a week and 49% stock in the store?”.
Russell
lol
A friend asked me if there was anything I particularly liked about Switzerland.
I said "Well, their flag's a big plus..."
Subtle - love it. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Beobloke
Yeah he s clearly the Tim Vine of A.O.S
Never mind about organic food at my age I need all the preservatives I can get.
The saying "so hungry I could eat a horse" has added meaning when you add "and chase the jockey too"
Every Friday I do a work newsletter that goes out to all colleagues and has a "Friday Funny" in it - I have a bit of a reputation for passing on some real groaners this week's for example...
I ate at Mary Poppins restaurant the other night. Super cauliflower cheese but the lobster was atrocious.
In a similar vein...He could eat 2 more tatties than a pig....and then eat the pig...Quote:
Originally Posted by Light Dependant Resistor
That's not a Dinosaur...but it will make Dyna soreQuote:
Originally Posted by Alex_UK
:lol::lol::lol::lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by mad-moon
Dongosaurus? Dildodactyl? Knoberatops? Can't find it in my i-spy book!
could it be a fuctalotopuss?Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_UK
Matbe a Tranasoreass :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_UK
Where can I get one of these made?
http://i64.tinypic.com/5klzya.jpg
:D
Looks like a starter for a flux capacitor :)Quote:
Originally Posted by walpurgis
Right first time Al. :)
"G'day mate, Aussie Helpline...What's the problem cobber?"
"I'm in Darwin with my sheila and she's been stung on the minge by a wasp, and now her pussy has completely closed up."
"Bummer mate!"
"Thanks mate, I hadn't thought of that,
Bye."
Classichttps://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...db612c5eaa.jpg
Sent from my ONE A2003 using Tapatalk
It's obviously a Gigaphallosaurous.Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_UK
To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you, I have contacts…..
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian7633
A few years ago I invented beach footwear for people with only one leg. It was a flop.
I once took the kids to this zoo, but they had NO animals, just this funny looking little dog. It was a Shih Tzu. :(
Works better spoken than written.
That's the one I went to, and there was a baguette in a cage. The keeper told me it was bread in captivity.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony