:lol:
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The pdf for your image is not working for me. Are you able to provide an alternative link?Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex_UK
I posted from my iPad, but will try again from my PC…
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/202...5d72a6b6cb.jpg
Can you see it now Barry?
A man enters the confessional and tells the priest “I almost had an affair with another woman.”
The priest said, "What do you mean, almost?" The man said, "Well, we took our clothes off and rubbed against each other, but then I stopped!" The priest said, "Rubbing against each other is like getting into each other. You'll never see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Marys and put £50 in the poor box!"
The man left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked toward the poor box. He paused for a moment, then began to leave.
The priest, who was watching him, ran to him and said, "I saw that. You didn't put any money in the poor box!"
The man replied, "Yes, but I rubbed the £50 on the box, and according to you, that's the same as putting it in!"
:rfl:
The teacher asked the class to use the word “fascinate” in a sentence.
Molly put up her hand and said, “My family went to my grandpa's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating."
The teacher said, “That was good, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate,’ not 'fascinating'.”
Sally raised her hand. She said, “My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated.”
The teacher said, “Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word ‘fascinate’.”
Little Johnny raised his hand, but the teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before.
She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word “fascinate,” so she called on him.
Johnny said, “My aunt Carolyn has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight.”
Brothers, this made me chuckle...
https://scontent-man2-1.xx.fbcdn.net...Uw&oe=690B1758
A young nurse was asked to give a sponge bath to a bedridden man who was wearing an oxygen mask. She was diligently carrying out her task when the man in the mask asked her a question. She politely continued without answering, then the man asked a little louder “Nurse, are my testicles black?” This time she couldn't pretend she hadn't heard but she was worried about being drawn into a compromising situation so she gave him a disapproving look and continued washing. The man persisted this time trying to sit up on his elbows “Nurse, please, are my testicles black?” This time she couldn't ignore him so carefully removing the sheet, she cupped and examined his testicles. With a slightly frosty retort she said that testicles looked fine to her.
The man ever so carefully pulled aside his oxygen mask and asked “Nurse, are my test results back?” before flopping back on the bed.