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probably an old joke...but so true....
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way:
I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people.
The nanny, we'll consider her the working class.
And your baby brother, we'll call him the future.
Now, think about that and see if that makes sense.
The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
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A man calls up the White House and informs them he wants to be the next President of the United States
The person answering the phone berates him: "Are you an idiot?"
The caller is silent for a while then answers: "Is it compulsory?"
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Two lawyers had been stranded on a deserted island for several months. The only other thing on the island was a tall coconut tree, which provided their food. And each day, one of the lawyers climbed to the top of the tree to see if he could see a rescue boat coming:
One day, the lawyer yelled down from the tree. "Wow! I can't believe my eyes. There is a girl out there floating in our direction."
The lawyer on the ground was most skeptical and said. "I think you're hallucinating and you should come down right now."
So, the lawyer reluctantly climbed down the tree and told his friend that he had just actually seen a naked brunette woman floating face up headed toward the island.
The other lawyer started to laugh, thinking the other guy had surely lost his mind. But within a few minutes, up to their beach floated a naked brunette woman, unconscious.
They went over to her and discovered she was alive.
One said to the other. "You know, we've been on this island for months now without a woman. It's been a long time. Do you think we should, you know, screw her?"
The other lawyer glanced down at the totally naked woman and asked. "Out of what?"
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Excellent stuff Mad - moon :lol:
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A Group of guys, all turning 40, discussed where they should meet for lunch.
Finally it was agreed that they would meet at Wetherspoons in
Uxbridge because the waitresses had big breasts and wore mini-skirts.
Ten years later, at age 50, the friends once again discussed where
they should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet
at Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the waitresses were attractive.
The food and service was good and the beer selection was excellent.
Ten years later, at age 60, the friends again discussed where they
should meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because there was plenty of parking, they
could dine in peace and quiet with no loud music, and it was good
value for money.
Ten years later, at age 70, the friends discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because the restaurant was wheelchair
accessible and had a toilet for the disabled.
Ten years later, at age 80, the friends discussed where they should
meet for lunch. Finally it was agreed that they would meet at
Wetherspoons in Uxbridge because they had never been there before !!!!!
Thought it apt for here !! :eyebrows:
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Only another ten years and I'll have forgotten going to Weatherspoons; then again probably no bad thing:D
