Make the ball three times heavier?
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Make the ball three times heavier?
I suppose that could work.
You'd be able to jump to enormous heights to intercept crosses into the box. No need to use the defender's shoulders anymore
basketball you'd have to make the net a lot higher I suppose.
I don't think the footballers will be allowed to go to Mars - the powers that be will be putting them onto a different Ark, along with the telephone sanitisers, middle management and hairdressers.
Bob Mortimer and Paul Whitehouse were on BBC News this morning. I see both are now sporting the obligatory 'old geezer's' hair transplant patch at the front.
What none of these guys realise is that as they continue ageing, the rest of their hair will carry on thinning and they be left with a hair 'island' at the front unless they have loads more transplants.
Personally, I couldn't be bothered with all that. I keep what I have left at a low maintenance No.1 cut.
Elon Musk's effort looks weird, it looks as though it's been airbrushed on. :lol:
A friend of mine had hair transplants many years ago. Only partially successful: they were inserted with such regular and equal spacing that they look like a stand of pine trees.Quote:
Originally Posted by walpurgis
Yes, that looks daft.Quote:
Originally Posted by Barry
Better than a syrup though.
it's a tossup as to which is worse. A wig or a comb-over.
I wonder if you can get comb-over style wigs? :lol:
Toupee or not toupee? :D
I was watching Layla Moran MP, the Lib Dem leadership candidate, when she was on the box today. What an irritating person, fake smiles, a lecturing tone, no sincerity, pushy emphasis and a patronising way. She sounds like a bossy schoolteacher! (and she'd have done us a favour if she'd worn a facemask to cover that silly face :))
She used to be a schoolteacher apparently.
Well there you go! :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Macca
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XyVV...ature=youtu.be
(primary school teacher)
Why do my feet get cold if I wear socks and trainers, yet if I just wear flip-flops they stay warm? :scratch:
maybe circulation is easier in flips
what is it like in socks and flip-flops?
Maybe because you only wear flip-flops when it’s warm?Quote:
Originally Posted by walpurgis
Or more likely, your feet are warm through blushing at being forced to wear such a god-awful excuse for footwear.
he didnt say socks n flipflops;)
Found it! My mobile phone went missing a few days ago and I'd been hunting everywhere for it. I hardly ever use it, but like having it handy 'just in case'. I'd even started looking online for replacements. The damn thing was in my SatNav box which I'd used for a journey about a week ago. :rolleyes:
^^ This.Quote:
Originally Posted by Beobloke
Sorry, I *cannot stand* the things!
Especially when I see folk wearing them out and about in towns with shorts, when the weather isn't particularly warm, or *in church*:doh: and in all sorts of inappropriate places, making that stupid 'flip-flop', sloshing noise, when they walk, and they offer NO proper support for your feet! Dreadful things... And with SOCKS? You've GOT to be kidding!!!!:lol:
They are BEACH WEAR (or for around an indoor pool, say at the gym, or hot tub/jacuzzi) - end of - and shouldn't be seen outside of that! About the house? Wear slippers, or just pad around in your socks or bare feet.
:exactly:
Marco.
Did you not try ringing it?;)Quote:
Originally Posted by walpurgis
Or was it switched off?
Marco.
My mobile phone went missing a couple of months ago. Looked everywhere, and tried ringing it a few times using my partner's phone. To no apparent avail - yet the idea worked: the phone had fallen out of my jacket pocket when I was getting out of a taxi. The taxi driver heard the phone ringing, located the phone when it was convenient and phoned the last number called. He brought the phone around to my place after he finished work for the day. I paid him the taxi fare plus a generous tip for his trouble.Quote:
Originally Posted by walpurgis
It's nice to know there are still some kind, honest and helpful people in this world. :)
Nice one, Barry. Restores your faith in human nature - and well done for rewarding him appropriately too, which will hopefully encourage him to do something similar again for someone else!:)
Marco.
Yes, it does restore your faith in human nature. I like to think I would have done the same if I found a mobile phone that had been dropped ringing.
I would too, especially given how much some folk rely on them these days. Del would be lost without hers, chatting to all her girly friends on whats app, etc.
Of course I don't approve [you know my feeling about smartphones] but I know she'd strop like hell if I tried to stop her [think WW3]:eek::eek: although more importantly I respect her right to do her thing:)
Marco.
It wasn't on mate (seldom is :))Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
Much like mine, then. I switched mine on for the first time today in about 4 months!:D
Marco.
I've made two calls on mine since last winter :).
A few years ago, I was leaving a pub at closing time and found a mobile phone on the floor outside. I tried ringing a couple of the numbers on it, but to no avail. I took it home with the intention to try again the next morning. Early next day the owner called it, and I arranged to take it to him. "I'm the chef at Shaw Hill golf club, if you could bring it there after 12, that would be great".Quote:
Originally Posted by Barry
When I got there I spoke to the girl at the bar, who went into the kitchen to fetch him. A minute later she returned: "He said to give it me and I'll take it through to him". And that was that. :( Wanker. I wasn't expecting a reward or anything, but a simple thankyou in person would have been nice.
Yes, that'll be the 0845 numbers to 'sluts n britches':DQuote:
Originally Posted by walpurgis
Marco.
What a self-centred thoughtless wanker. :doh: Even if he was busy in the kitchen he could have at least conveyed his thanks, and stood you a drink at the bar.Quote:
Originally Posted by Pigmy Pony
Unlike your "Rampant" friend, which has never been switched off :eyebrows:Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco
No that'd be Del's!:eek::bum:
:eyebrows:;)
Marco.
I thought he was going to get a free meal!Quote:
Originally Posted by Barry
typical chef tbh. they are mostly self important wankers.
I'd have phoned the c*nt and told him what I thought of him...... At 4am!;)
Marco.
Go on, 'fess up. Who's had the central heating on? I have for an hour for the last two mornings, in August of all things! I don't recall ever having had to do that before. The indoor temperature was 18C and just over 12C outside.
I have this morning. Properly chilly although the thermometer says 16c. Looks like Autumn coming on a bit early.
mine kicks in if it gets colder so its been on a few times this month.Quote:
Originally Posted by walpurgis
I think we'll get a couple of warm spells yet. It's just unsettled weather reaching us while the US hurricane season is on.
Lol, not me. We rarely use ours... If we want heat, we light the log burner, and that's not been on since the middle of May! Plenty warm enough here for us at the moment. Still 15C outside and 18C inside:)Quote:
Originally Posted by walpurgis
The chimney's being swept on Tuesday, so if it's colder then, we might waken it up and clear out any loose bits of soot!
Marco.
I had hoped a free lunch might be on the cards, and we certainly dressed appropriately, Pringle jumpers, plus fours, single glove. I felt a right tit having to go the chippy instead, dressed like that :(Quote:
Originally Posted by Macca
Put ours on an hour ago, toasty warm now. Been working outside all day, in just a t shirt (no Marco I had pants on too) and didn't feel cold then. StrangeQuote:
Originally Posted by walpurgis
Put my CH on last night.
You always feel warmer when you're working...:)
Are you really that cold, Stevo? We're still sleeping with the bedroom window open a bit, and we don't have any heating on.
Marco.
Must be an age thing!:D;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Barry
Marco.
No, it was for Happy. She was born in Africa, some 350 miles from the Equator and is a bit of a 'hot house flower'.Quote:
Originally Posted by Marco