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View Full Version : Lockdown Slobs! Come on, own up!



walpurgis
23-05-2020, 16:00
OK, who's let things go during the lockdown and now looks a total, scruffy, unshaven, shameless mess?

I have, but I was a bit like that anyway :lol:.

Joe
23-05-2020, 16:09
I could certainly do with a haircut, and the shaving's gone out the window too. Last time I had a shave I managed to cut myself and was bleeding like a stuck pig (OK, slight exaggeration there). But it's fair to say I was never much of a Beau Brummel to start with.

Macca
23-05-2020, 16:42
Grown a beard twice and shaved it off twice. Trying to stay on top of it now as it's a pain in the arse. Went through about a million razors getting it off.

Didn't shower for a week. I don't recommend that.

Hair-wise I bought some clippers but not opened the package yet. Had second thoughts about doing DIY barbery.

Joe
23-05-2020, 16:44
Grown a beard twice and shaved it off twice. Trying to stay on top of it now as it's a pain in the arse. Went through about a million razors getting it off.

Didn't shower for a week. I don't recommend that.

Hair-wise I bought some clippers but not opened the package yet. Had second thoughts about doing DIY barbery.

I cut my wife's hair a few weeks back. It doesn't look too bad now it's grown out a bit, but her first reaction on looking in the mirror was to find a good divorce lawyer.

Macca
23-05-2020, 16:50
I cut my wife's hair a few weeks back. It doesn't look too bad now it's grown out a bit, but her first reaction on looking in the mirror was to find a good divorce lawyer.

So why can't she cut yours?

Marco
23-05-2020, 16:56
I cut my wife's hair a few weeks back. It doesn't look too bad now it's grown out a bit, but her first reaction on looking in the mirror was to find a good divorce lawyer.

OMG - the very thought of Del allowing me to 'go at' her hair with a pair of scissors, which is beautifully thick and down to her waist, is beyond any notion of funny!!!!

I'd be 'Bobbitted' first!!:eek::eek:

Marco.

Joe
23-05-2020, 16:56
So why can't she cut yours?

She could, I guess, I haven't asked her to. It's not too bad if I remember to comb it back, I look a bit like Michael Heseltine. If I don't comb it though, I look more like Bob out of Twin Peaks.

Marco
23-05-2020, 17:04
My own hair is just crazy long at the moment, compared with how I normally have it, which is not quite skinhead-short, but not too far off! I could probably make a small ponytail at the back!:lol:

And as for the sides and top - just - HOLY FUCK...:eyebrows:

I'll be letting it grow though, until the hairdresser can call again, hopefully sometime in July... What it'll be like by then doesn't ever bear contemplating!! However, I promise I'll post a 'before and after' pic, once she's made me look semi-human again:D

Marco.

Joe
23-05-2020, 17:05
OMG - the very thought of Del allowing me to 'go at' her hair with a pair of scissors, which is beautifully thick and down to her waist, is beyond any notion of funny!!!!:eek::eek:

I'd be 'Bobbitted' first!!

Marco.

So who cuts her hair, or is she just letting it grow?

Marco
23-05-2020, 17:15
So who cuts her hair, or is she just letting it grow?

She's just letting it grow, Joe. Her hair's super-long anyway, as I said down to her waist and always beautifully kept (and dark brown). The only person she'd trust going near her hair is a professional hairdresser. She sometimes cuts her fringe, though:)

Marco.

southall-1998_mk2
23-05-2020, 17:19
I've been in lockdown since birth! No shock to me :lol:

S.

CageyH
23-05-2020, 17:42
Even shaving in a regular basis, and also been cutting my hair every couple of weeks, like I do normally. You can’t go wrong with a set of clippers.

As for not showering for a week. :nono:

walpurgis
23-05-2020, 17:43
I cut my wife's hair a few weeks back. It doesn't look too bad now it's grown out a bit, but her first reaction on looking in the mirror was to find a good divorce lawyer.

I give my wife and daughter's hair a trim now and then, but I did serve two years of a barber's apprenticeship when I was a youngster and learned the basics of ladies hair as well.

I packed it in 'cos the pay was peanuts and went off and earned peanuts elsewhere! :)

I do cut my own hair, it's the only tidy bit about me. A weekly No.1 all over.

Macca
23-05-2020, 18:00
Even shaving in a regular basis, and also been cutting my hair every couple of weeks, like I do normally. You can’t go wrong with a set of clippers.

As for not showering for a week. :nono:

I just forgot! I blame the change of routine. The days fly by working from home.

walpurgis
23-05-2020, 18:10
As for not showering for a week. :nono:

Yes, ridiculous. Fortnightly is more than adequate! :)

Marco
23-05-2020, 18:18
You can’t go wrong with a set of clippers.


Ha - that's a matter of opinion!

A *proper* haircut, especially when your hair is long, also requires the skilful and neat use of scissors, not just going VRRRRROOOM... with a pair of clippers, like a lawnmower over some long grass - unless you want to walk around looking like an escaped convict!!:eek::D

Marco.

Marco
23-05-2020, 18:23
Yes, ridiculous. Fortnightly is more than adequate! :)

Do you still use the same test with your unwashed underpants, in that if you throw them against the wall, and they stick, then it's time for a change of pants and a shower!:D

I'm remain a loyal fan of the classic 'chisel test'.

Marco.

Ian7633
23-05-2020, 19:00
Do you still use the same test with your unwashed underpants, in that if you throw them against the wall, and they stick, then it's time for a change of pants and a shower!:D

I'm remain a loyal fan of the classic 'chisel test'.

Marco.

Years ago there was a story going round where I used to live that the owner of one of the kebab shops was taken to hospital after a car crash. The story goes that when the nurses undressed him they had to use soap and water to soak his underpants to get them off him. Needless to say it's one of those tales told in pubs but I never had food there again. :spew:

walpurgis
23-05-2020, 19:10
Do you still use the same test with your unwashed underpants, in that if you throw them against the wall, and they stick, then it's time for a change of pants and a shower!:D

Marco.

The real test is when you throw them at the wall and they shatter. :)

Marco
23-05-2020, 19:16
Years ago there was a story going round where I used to live that the owner of one of the kebab shops was taken to hospital after a car crash. The story goes that when the nurses undressed him they had to use soap and water to soak his underpants to get them off him. Needless to say it's one of those tales told in pubs but I never had food there again. :spew:

Lurvely... Reminds me of why I never eat kebabs:bog:

What would've been funnier though is if he was wearing a pair of his wife's panties!:D

Marco.

CageyH
24-05-2020, 07:41
Ha - that's a matter of opinion!

A *proper* haircut, especially when your hair is long, also requires the skilful and neat use of scissors, not just going VRRRRROOOM... with a pair of clippers, like a lawnmower over some long grass - unless you want to walk around looking like an escaped convict!!:eek::D

Marco.

Pass the clippers over your bonce every couple of weeks, and it is much easier.

Marco
24-05-2020, 10:37
Lol, nah mate, yer all right - that's why hairdressers were invented!:D

Show us a pic of your bonce then, so I can judge the results!!

Marco.

Shovel_Knight
24-05-2020, 10:52
After the lockdown started, I ordered a professional hair clipper and now Mrs. Shovel Knight cuts my hair every 2 weeks or so. But I now shave only once a week (why bother shaving more often when I rarely leave the house anyway?)

archiesdad
24-05-2020, 15:19
Clippers with no guard on all over, hair is various greys and pretty non existent on top so can't really be seen, the beard (not full set, goatee) been left to grow and noe is getting a bit of curl in it, and breakfast/dinner etc. I wait till she complains and something about it.

Many years ago I had a large beard and long hair, in the mining industry and when the strike started I said it could go till we went back to work, 53 weks later think Captain Birdseye meets ZZ top, blooming cold after it was all trimmed back.

CageyH
24-05-2020, 18:21
Lol, nah mate, yer all right - that's why hairdressers were invented!:D

Show us a pic of your bonce then, so I can judge the results!!

Marco.

https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/fictionalcrossover/images/b/b1/A_Conehead.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20151213201415

Marco
24-05-2020, 21:10
Heh-heh... Is that a pimple that's gone wrong? :D

Marco.

Mikeandvan
24-05-2020, 21:48
I've gone from wearing trousers to jeans, and shaved me head, cos the barbers is closed, that's about it.

Scorps
25-05-2020, 00:42
i was told last night by mi cousin i looked like grizzly adams, dunno if that a compliment or not but have only shaved once so beard getting bit wild. Which missus not impressed by but even pre lockdown i only shaved when going out for pool league or to mother. Beard looks good except for the 22 white bits on mi chin which i think are there from rubbing my chin when i think someone bullshitting me lol.

Barry
25-05-2020, 01:08
Shower and shave every day. Wash my hair every three or four days. My hair is reasonably long - in fact it's the length I normally like to wear it. Was cut mid April.

With the hot weather I've dispensed with the tie, and are even wearing shorts (in the privacy of my home, of course).

Roy S
25-05-2020, 01:38
Ha - that's a matter of opinion!

A *proper* haircut, especially when your hair is long, also requires the skilful and neat use of scissors, not just going VRRRRROOOM... with a pair of clippers, like a lawnmower over some long grass - unless you want to walk around looking like an escaped convict!!:eek::D

Marco.

Don't think my No.4 all over looks too bad (trimmed round the ears a little with scissors).

Yes, I've stopped wearing a tie Barry...

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49932727562_191123ea42_o.jpg

Barry
25-05-2020, 01:44
If I was to wear one of my African shirts with my shorts, I would look a bit like that - and yes, I too pad about the house with bare feet.

Marco
25-05-2020, 01:49
Don't think my No.4 all over looks too bad (trimmed round the ears a little with scissors).

Yes, I've stopped wearing a tie Barry...

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49932727562_191123ea42_o.jpg

I'd bang it:thumbsup:

Marco.

P.S Are you fiddling with your 'loose change', dahling?

Roy S
25-05-2020, 01:52
I'd bang it:thumbsup:

Marco.

:eek::D

Roy S
25-05-2020, 01:56
Are you fiddling with your 'loose change', dahling?

I know there's a 5p piece in there somewhere..

Oddball
25-05-2020, 07:27
My son had a set of Wahl clippers 3 months ago.
Grade 4 and bobs your uncle for me , and my son does it for me !! Great !!!

walpurgis
25-05-2020, 07:33
I currently shave every quartan.

Macca
25-05-2020, 07:40
Do the quartans object or do they submit willingly?

walpurgis
25-05-2020, 07:44
Do the quartans object or do they submit willingly?

You do get the occasional whimper :).

Macca
25-05-2020, 07:46
:lol:

Marco
25-05-2020, 10:37
You do get the occasional whimper :).

:D:eyebrows:

But could you manage a whole one?

Marco.

Ian7633
25-05-2020, 13:35
I know there's a 5p piece in there somewhere..

A mate of mine had to have a prostate examination at the doctors. He was running late so when he got home threw everything on the bed, quick shower, dressed and off to the docs. After the procedure was done the doc confirmed there was a problem and that it wasn't necessary to tip him and handed over a 5 pence piece. Somewhat confused my mate went home wondering where the coin had come from. Once home he found some other coins on the bed so when he sat down after the shower the 5p had err.. made it's way between the cheeks. We still remind about this whenever he goes for a check up.

struth
25-05-2020, 13:40
Just cut my hair as it had gone grey with worry.
Somebody give me a drink.. [emoji23] https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20200525/b9f806313396557528ef3218aceee214.jpg

Roy S
25-05-2020, 13:46
A mate of mine had to have a prostate examination at the doctors. He was running late so when he got home threw everything on the bed, quick shower, dressed and off to the docs. After the procedure was done the doc confirmed there was a problem and that it wasn't necessary to tip him and handed over a 5 pence piece. Somewhat confused my mate went home wondering where the coin had come from. Once home he found some other coins on the bed so when he sat down after the shower the 5p had err.. made it's way between the cheeks. We still remind about this whenever he goes for a check up.

:lol:

In a similar vain

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49933789413_9826e8b793_o.jpg

struth
25-05-2020, 13:56
A mate of mine had to have a prostate examination at the doctors. He was running late so when he got home threw everything on the bed, quick shower, dressed and off to the docs. After the procedure was done the doc confirmed there was a problem and that it wasn't necessary to tip him and handed over a 5 pence piece. Somewhat confused my mate went home wondering where the coin had come from. Once home he found some other coins on the bed so when he sat down after the shower the 5p had err.. made it's way between the cheeks. We still remind about this whenever he goes for a check up.

must have had good ass suction

struth
25-05-2020, 13:56
:lol:

In a similar vain

https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49933789413_9826e8b793_o.jpg

i guess the question must be.. why??

Roy S
25-05-2020, 14:01
i guess the question must be.. why??

That never came out, bit like the creme eggs