Limericks

[The Grand Wazoo]

Did I do something terribly wrong?
Said the man who was not from Hong Kong
From KL to Puna
he ate all the Tuna
And suspended huge weights from his schlong

There once was a lass from Dunfermline

[Marco]

There once was a lass from Dunfermline
who set my knees a-tremblin'

[Covenant]

There once was a lass from Dunfermline
who set my knees a-tremblin'
When she hitched up her garter

[Puffin]

There once was a lass from Dunfermline
who set my knees a-tremblin'
When she hitched up her garter
shouted "right that's your starter"

[Krisbee]

There once was a lass from Dunfermline
who set my knees a-tremblin'
When she hitched up her garter
shouted "right that's your starter"
We started some serious doggin'


Becalmed on the good ship Mayflower

[Joe]

Becalmed on the good ship Mayflower
I thought I'd listen to some Cat Power

[The Grand Wazoo]

Becalmed on the good ship Mayflower
I thought I'd listen to some Cat Power
She sings in bare feet

[Joe]

Becalmed on the good ship Mayflower
I thought I'd listen to some Cat Power
She sings in bare feet
Is quite indiscreet

[Techno Commander]

Becalmed on the good ship Mayflower
I thought I'd listen to some Cat Power
She sings in bare feet
Is quite indiscreet
Especially when we're in the shower

[The Grand Wazoo]

Andy.


.........no matter how hard I try , I can't think of a way to continue a limerick with that. Maybe if you try another first line?

[Marco]

There was a man called Andy
who was feeling very randy

Marco.

[The Grand Wazoo]

There was a man called Andy
who was feeling very randy
But it hurt very much

[Marco]

There was a man called Andy
who was feeling very randy
But it hurt very much
when he rubbed his crotch

Marco.

[Buggleskelly]

There was a man called Andy
who was feeling very randy
But it hurt very much
when he rubbed his crotch
he wanted a drink of scotch

[Alex_UK]

Steve, I think with a limerick the last line should rhyme with the first/second, so how about:

There was a man called Andy
who was feeling very randy
But it hurt very much
when he rubbed his crotch
he wanted a drink of brandy

Sorry to be pedantic! ;)

Your turn to start one off again with a first line. :)

[shane]

There seems to be a bit of confusion about how a limerick is put together.

The first two lines and the fifth line should rhyme, with 8 syllables. The third and fourth should rhyme, with five syllables. The emphasis is thus:

De diddly diddly dum
De diddly diddly dum
De diddly diddle
De diddly diddle
De diddly diddly dum

If it ain't got that rhythm, it ain't a limerick. Taking the example above, "There was a man called Andy" doesn't fit, whereas "There was a young fellow called Andy" does, although strictly speaking, "Andy" is being treated as a single beat.

[Techno Commander]

There once stood a brainy fellow
Whose balls were a shade of yellow

[shane]

There once stood a brainy fellow
Whose balls were a shade of yellow

Now if you'd said


There once stood a brainy young fellow
Whose balls were a pale shade of yellow

that would scan perfectly.

There once stood a brainy young fellow
Whose balls were a pale shade of yellow
The left one had spots

[Labarum]

Now if you'd said


There once stood a brainy young fellow
Whose balls were a pale shade of yellow

that would scan perfectly.

There once stood a brainy young fellow
Whose balls were a pale shade of yellow
The left one had spots

There once stood a brainy young fellow
Whose balls were a pale shade of yellow
The left one had spots
The right one had clots
And his member was always like jello.

(If Americanisms are permitted!)

I tried some education before Shane

http://theartofsound.net/forum/showpost.php?p=138290&postcount=241

You may have more success.

[shane]

By George He's Got It...

We can only try!

A sailor from somewhere near Penge

[Labarum]

[QUOTE=shane;139037]By George He's Got It...


A sailor from somewhere near Penge
Went a-walking one day to Stonehenge

(It would help if I knew how Penge was pronouced!)

[Alex_UK]

A sailor from somewhere near Penge
Went a-walking one day to Stonehenge
He felt like a Druid

[Labarum]

A sailor from somewhere near Penge
Went a-walking one day to Stonehenge
He felt like a Druid
Drank a potion of fluid

[kininigin]

A sailor from somewhere near Penge
Went a-walking one day to Stonehenge
He felt like a Druid
Drank a potion of fluid
which sent him round the bend-ge :scratch:

[Labarum]

A sailor from somewhere near Penge
Went a-walking one day to Stonehenge
He felt like a Druid
Drank a potion of fluid
which sent him round the bend-ge :scratch:

Hard one. Deploy the Limmeric cheat:

A sailor from somewhere near Penge
Went a-walking one day to Stonehenge
He felt like a Druid.
Drank a potion of fluid.
That drunken old sailor from Penge.

[shane]

Aha! I spot the Edward Lear manoeuvre.

[Labarum]

Aha! I spot the Edward Lear manoeuvre.

And why not? Follow the master!

A poet of talent called Lear
Went a-fishing one day with a spear

[shane]

A poet of talent called Lear
Went a-fishing one day with a spear
He spiked a fat gurnard
Whose first name was Bernard

[Techno Commander]

There once stood a brainy young fellow
Whose balls were a pale shade of yellow
The left one had spots
The right one had clots
And his member was always like jello.
.

:lolsign:

[Labarum]

A poet of talent called Lear
Went a-fishing one day with a spear
He spiked a fat gurnard
Whose first name was Bernard
and ate the fat fish without fear.

[Labarum]

Shane, shouldn't it be


There once stood a brainy young fellow
Whose balls were a pale shade of yellow
O the left one had spots
But the right one had clots
And his member was always like jello.

not

There once stood a brainy young fellow
Whose balls were a pale shade of yellow
The left one had spots
The right one had clots
And his member was always like jello.

???

[Marco]

Let's not get too pedantic and take the fun out of it, though, chaps! ;)

Marco.

[Labarum]

Let's not get too pedantic and take the fun out of it, though, chaps! ;)

Marco.


Maybe the fun for some of us, Marco, is getting it right?

As I said before, this is the Art of Sound!

There once was a sound man called Marco
Who painted his Tannoys all dark-o
On the right they were brown
on the left you could drown
in the beautiful shade O so bark-o.

A bit of nonsense verse too - just for you:)

[Krisbee]

A pedant who lived in Hants
Went off on one of his rants
He'd go on about rhyme
Nearly all of the time
While the rest of us just wrote pants.

My starter for ten .........

The despicable habits of Bates

[Labarum]

A pedant who lived in Hants
Went off on one of his rants
He'd go on about rhyme
Nearly all of the time
While the rest of us just wrote pants.


Let this pedant from Hants suggest

A pedant who lived down in Hants
Went off into one of his rants
He'd go on about rhyme
Nearly all of the time
While the rest of us knew we were pants.

:lol:

[Joe]

The despicable habits of Bates
Caused disquiet amongst ruminates

[Labarum]

The despicable habits of Bates
Caused disquiet amongst ruminates
They would crowd him and crush him

[Joe]

The despicable habits of Bates
Caused disquiet amongst ruminates
They would crowd him and crush him
And generally try to mush him

[Labarum]

The despicable habits of Bates
Caused disquiet amongst ruminates
They would crowd him and crush him
And generally mush him.
That liquidised bounder called Bates.

[Krisbee]

A limerick without any smut
has the pedigree of an old mutt
To never curse
Is simply worse
Than a bursting balloon that goes phut.

The despicable habits of Bates
Left him totally bereft of mates
He'd fart and gob,
And play with his nob
Then sneeze all over the plates.

And your next starter is ....

Here endeth the lesson for today

[Labarum]

Here endeth the lesson today.
Our Kris said in voice O so gay.

or

Here endeth the lesson today.
Sing your songs! Sing a loud rondo-lay