A little rib tickler

[Haselsh1]

A Yorkshireman goes into the chemist with a sore bum and asks, "Does tha sell arse cream ?" Yes replies the chemist, Magnum or Cornetto...? :violin:

[Rare Bird]

:lolsign:

[Marco]

Arf!

How about the little Chinese waiter in a restaurant who, upon noticing that a customer had finished his dessert, walked up and asked:

"You for coffee?"

...to which the affronted man replied: "You fuck off too, ya slant-eyed wee prick!!"

Marco.

[Covenant]

Or the indian gentleman who inquired in the bank about why the exchange rate had altered. When he got the reply "Fluctuations" he said "Well fluck to you British too"

[Alex_UK]

An Italian goes to Malta...

One day I gonna to Malta to a big hotel, in the morning I go down to eat a breakfast. I tell the waitress that I want two pieces of toast. She brings me only one piece. I tell her "I wanna two pieces". She say "Go to the toilet". I say "you don't understand, I wanna two pieces on my plate". She say to me, "you better not piss on the plate, you sonnawabitch". I do not even know this lady and she call me a sonnawabitch!!

Later I go to eat at a bigger restaurant. The waiter brings me a Spoon and a knief but no fock. I tell her "I wanna a fock" and she tella me : "everyone wanna fuck". I tella her " you don't understand me...I wanna fock on the table". She say : "you better not fuck on the table you sonnawabitch."

So I go back to my room in my hotel and there is no sheets on the bed. I call the manager and tell him "I wanna a sheet". he tell me to go the toilet. I say "you don't understand I wanna a sheet on my bed". He say: "you better not shit on the bed, you sonnawabitch".

I go to the Check out and the man at the desk said "peace on you".and I say: "Piss on you too, you sonnawabicth". I gonna back to Italy!

[Haselsh1]

A Yorkshireman goes into a chemist and asks "Does tha sell deoderant?", to which the pharmacists replies: "Certainly sir, would that be the ball type?" to which the Yorkshireman replies "Ney, luv, it's for under me arms""

[electric beach]

Two Blondes walk into a bar.

You would have thought one of them would have seen it.

[Rare Bird]

The teacher called little johnny to her desk & said, ''The essay you wrote about your pet dog is word-for-word the same as your brother's?''...''of course it is!'' said little johnny. ''It's the same dog!''

:lol: