View Full Version : BBC closes loophole for whiny freeloaders
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-technology/bbc-closes-loophole-for-whiny-freeloaders-20160902113219
PEOPLE with an absurd sense of entitlement will no longer be able to watch BBC iPlayer for free, the broadcaster has confirmed.
The broadcaster closed the loophole, which allowed people access to billions of pounds worth of entertainment for free, yesterday after a high-level decision that those people could go fuck themselves.
Craft beer ambassador Tom Booker said: “I don’t own a television, I don’t have a television aerial on the chimney of my house, I don’t even have a house. I’m contemporary.
“So when I’m watching Bake-Off ironically on my MacBook I shouldn’t be liable for any licence fee, because what I am doing is completely different and cooler.
“YouTube’s free, and I don’t see the distinction between high-quality content by a broadcasting organisation which is the envy of the world and blurred smartphone footage of teenagers punching each other’s groins.
“Where does this end? Paying for music?”
A BBC spokesman said: “We’ve got Attenborough, you whiny bitches, so pay up.”
I heard the new penalties were raised to televised execution for stealing bbc services :eyebrows: Gotta admit it would beat cum dancing
walpurgis
03-09-2016, 09:37
If something is or has been free. Does that make those who have enjoyed using it 'whiny freeloaders'?
prestonchipfryer
03-09-2016, 10:37
Made me laugh. :rofl:
If something is or has been free. Does that make those who have enjoyed using it 'whiny freeloaders'?
No. Only when you complain that they aren't giving you things for free anymore because you believe they should.
If you are only watching ironically then it should be free. I for one welcome our new craft beer ambassador overlords.
Intrigued, I called the BBC and spoke with senior executive James Ogilvy-Pharse. This is what he had to say:
'Macca, the facts are that at the present time I earn 350K a year for attending a few meetings about political correctness and diversity, and a couple more meetings where we plan the meetings about political correctness and diversity. Otherwise the rest of my time is my own and I am free to have lavish expense-account lunches and shag young, impressionable female researchers. If we were to allow people to watch our programmes for free there is a very real danger that I would have to find a proper job on a real-world salary.
The fact is that freeloading only works for the few, not the many. If we were to allow everyone to freeload the gravy train would hit the buffers pretty sharpish.'
When I put it to James that the BBC's output is so poor that it is, in effect, valuless, he had this to say :
'Macca, the purpose of the BBC is not to produce programmes. The BBC exists to provide cushy high salary sinecures for people like me. Whilst we do produce the occasional new show amidst the general mass of repeats and biased news coverage, they are mostly cut and paste ideas pinched from other networks or simply cribbed from stuff we made years ago. We just use different actors and update any topical references. No-one seems to notice. In any case I am not involved in actually making television and in fact I don 't know anyone at the BBC who is. I imagine there might be a couple of chaps down in the basement who do that sort of thing but I really don't know.'
anthonyTD
03-09-2016, 13:18
Sounds about right! :eek::lol:
Intrigued, I called the BBC and spoke with senior executive James Ogilvy-Pharse. This is what he had to say:
'Macca, the facts are that at the present time I earn 350K a year for attending a few meetings about political correctness and diversity, and a couple more meetings where we plan the meetings about political correctness and diversity. Otherwise the rest of my time is my own and I am free to have lavish expense-account lunches and shag young, impressionable female researchers. If we were to allow people to watch our programmes for free there is a very real danger that I would have to find a proper job on a real-world salary.
The fact is that freeloading only works for the few, not the many. If we were to allow everyone to freeload the gravy train would hit the buffers pretty sharpish.'
When I put it to James that the BBC's output is so poor that it is, in effect, valuless, he had this to say :
'Macca, the purpose of the BBC is not to produce programmes. The BBC exists to provide cushy high salary sinecures for people like me. Whilst we do produce the occasional new show amidst the general mass of repeats and biased news coverage, they are mostly cut and paste ideas pinched from other networks or simply cribbed from stuff we made years ago. We just use different actors and update any topical references. No-one seems to notice. In any case I am not involved in actually making television and in fact I don 't know anyone at the BBC who is. I imagine there might be a couple of chaps down in the basement who do that sort of thing but I really don't know.'
Obviously not a luvvie;). But probably accurate
Arkless Electronics
03-09-2016, 13:32
Well I for one will proudly be finding illegal methods of continuing to watch it for free so shove that where the sun don't shine:ner:
Most of their output is for thicko scum bags who want to watch bake off, x factor, strictly cum dancing anyway....
Well I for one will proudly be finding illegal methods of continuing to watch it for free so shove that where the sun don't shine:ner:
Most of their output is for thicko scum bags who want to watch bake off, x factor, strictly cum dancing anyway....
Nice one Jez :D
Bit of foot shooting there alright ;)
Thats a lot of members wives taken care of then.....
Arkless Electronics
03-09-2016, 13:51
:D
Arkless Electronics
03-09-2016, 13:52
:D
Consistently not giving a feck who I offend since 1965:lol:
Well I for one will proudly be continuing to watch it...
Most of their output is for thicko scum bags
I meant this kind of foot shooting :D
Consistently not giving a feck who I offend since 1965:lol:
But I also enjoyed this :D
Intrigued, I called the BBC and spoke with senior executive James Ogilvy-Pharse. This is what he had to say:
'Macca, the facts are that at the present time I earn 350K a year for attending a few meetings about political correctness and diversity, and a couple more meetings where we plan the meetings about political correctness and diversity. Otherwise the rest of my time is my own and I am free to have lavish expense-account lunches and shag young, impressionable female researchers. If we were to allow people to watch our programmes for free there is a very real danger that I would have to find a proper job on a real-world dalary.
The fact is that freeloading only works for the few, not the many. If we were to allow everyone to freeload the gravy train would hit the buffers pretty sharpish.'
When I put it to James that the BBC's output is so poor that it is, in effect, valuless, he had this to say :
'Macca, the purpose of the BBC is not to produce programmes. The BBC exists to provide cushy high salary sinecures for people like me. Whilst we do produce the occasional new show amidst the general mass of repeats and biased news coverage, they are mostly cut and paste ideas pinched from other networks or simply cribbed from stuff we made years ago. We just use different actors and update any topical references. No-one seems to notice. In any case I am not involved in actually making television and in fact I don 't know anyone at the BBC who is. I imagine there might be a couple of chaps down in the basement who do that sort of thing but I really don't know.'
:) seriously Martin, have you considered writing for a living?
How the BBC will enforce this I've no idea, granted they could restrict access to BBC apps and services but as mentioned there are countless ways in today's techy world to watch whatever one chooses without going through the normal methods...
I can watch a movie that is still showing in the cinema without having to look over my shoulder for the piracy police and all the money Hollywood tries to throw at stopping people doing so mostly goes to salaries and bogus organisations, think the same will happen here with money going to top brass or the feet on the ground knocking at people's doors
Maybe labour should add this to their manifesto... Bound to be worth a pile of votes. Make them advertise or whatever, and live by what they provide instead of this carte blanche attitude currently, which allows them to make trash
Arkless Electronics
03-09-2016, 14:24
How the BBC will enforce this I've no idea, granted they could restrict access to BBC apps and services but as mentioned there are countless ways in today's techy world to watch whatever one chooses without going through the normal methods...
I can watch a movie that is still showing in the cinema without having to look over my shoulder for the piracy police and all the money Hollywood tries to throw at stopping people doing so mostly goes to salaries and bogus organisations, think the same will happen here with money going to top brass or the feet on the ground knocking at people's doors
Indeed there are;) For the 2 hours a week or so of telly I have any interest in watching there is no way I'm buying a licence! Especially with such dumbed down to lowest common denominator celebrity this celebrity that shite! Even the so called science and nature output is dumbed down to CSE failure level these days...
Arkless Electronics
03-09-2016, 14:31
Only youtube so far but the BBC found it important enough to comment on:eek: This is what the worlds coming to http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/37254953/sprinkle-of-glitter-quits-youtube-channel-saying-she-wants-to-make-more-mature-content and it needs stamping out!:steam:
Indeed there are;) For the 2 hours a week or so of telly I have any interest in watching there is no way I'm buying a licence! Especially with such dumbed down to lowest common denominator celebrity this celebrity that shite! Even the so called science and nature output is dumbed down to CSE failure level these days...
Yes, I struggle to find something to watch and I'm far from an academic. Even radio content seems to be at odds with what I consider entertaining. Looks like there's only radio 3 left to go to...don't know how I'll get on there as I'm not naturally a classical lover. Tbh I thought it was just me becoming an old fart so it's good to hear other people struggling with celebrity xyz and endless pandering to certain minority issues.
It is a wet, windy Saturday evening and an Englishman with a less-than-full social schedule might well decide to spend it being entertained by his public service broadcaster, to which he is paying ten bob a day.
So what is on offer tonight?
1800 Pointless Celebrities (not what you think, it's a game show. With celebrities)
1850 Strictly Cum Dancing
2015 National Lottery: Family Reunion. (I've no idea what that is but it sounds really, really bad).
2110 Casualty
2200 BBC News (worth noting that the reason both left and right wingers feel the BBC news coverage is biased in favour of the other, is because it is actually biased in favour of the BBC. Yes! All makes sense now doesn't it?)
2200 Marvel Avengers Assemble (film 2012) Now I've not seen this, it does have Robert Downey Jnr in it, and if I can kill enough brain cells with alcohol between now and the start time I might just be mildly entertained by it. The fact that I could probably buy the DVD off of eBay for my fifty pee is pertinent, though.
What about BBC2?
1820 The Great British Bake off (not what you might hope, it's about cooking)
1850 Proms Extra (something to do with that classical music I think)
1930 Greece with Simon Reeve (will be as dull as ditchwater based on his previous form. Why do these travel docs no longer tell you interesting facts about the places they feature, and instead spend the whole show talking with people who do mundane jobs. 'So what's it like to drive a taxi in Karachi?'. Like we care.
2030 Dad's Army. (Odd that despite its hundreds of highly paid execs the BBC is still unable to work out why this was proper telly and why what they do now is complete shite).
2100 War Horse (film 2011) see Marvel Whatevers above
2315 Hunky Dory (film 2011)
Is there really ten bob's worth there? Especially when we already paid for Dad's Army forty years ago. I say no.
It is a wet, windy Saturday evening and an Englishman with a less-than-full social schedule might well decide to spend it being entertained by his public service broadcaster, to which he is paying ten bob a day.
So what is on offer tonight?
1800 Pointless Celebrities (not what you think, it's a game show. With celebrities)
1850 Strictly Cum Dancing
2015 National Lottery: Family Reunion. (I've no idea what that is but it sounds really, really bad).
2110 Casualty
2200 BBC News (worth noting that the reason both left and right wingers feel the BBC news coverage is biased in favour of the other, is because it is actually biased in favour of the BBC. Yes! All makes sense now doesn't it?)
2200 Marvel Avengers Assemble (film 2012) Now I've not seen this, it does have Robert Downey Jnr in it, and if I can kill enough brain cells with alcohol between now and the start time I might just be mildly entertained by it. The fact that I could probably buy the DVD off of eBay for my fifty pee is pertinent, though.
What about BBC2?
1820 The Great British Bake off (not what you might hope, it's about cooking)
1850 Proms Extra (something to do with that classical music I think)
1930 Greece with Simon Reeve (will be as dull as ditchwater based on his previous form. Why do these travel docs no longer tell you interesting facts about the places they feature, and instead spend the whole show talking with people who do mundane jobs. 'So what's it like to drive a taxi in Karachi?'. Like we care.
2030 Dad's Army. (Odd that despite its hundreds of highly paid execs the BBC is still unable to work out why this was proper telly and why what they do now is complete shite).
2100 War Horse (film 2011) see Marvel Whatevers above
2315 Hunky Dory (film 2011)
Is there really ten bob's worth there? Especially when we already paid for Dad's Army forty years ago. I say no.
Only things I'd be interested in would be the program on Greece if it was about its fabulous ancient history but of course it will be a witless modern social commentary bent on fuelling someone's agenda and dad's army.
Maybe "real TV" like dads army has had its time and will never be equalled or eclipsed - like classic rock. Guess we should just enjoy our repeats.
Maybe "real TV" like dads army has had its time and will never be equalled or eclipsed - like classic rock. Guess we should just enjoy our repeats.
That is pretty much my thinking too. The tide went out a long time ago and isn't coming back.
Arkless Electronics
03-09-2016, 15:39
That is pretty much my thinking too. The tide went out a long time ago and isn't coming back.
Call me an intellectual snob... but.. here's my take on it. Professional bean counters and target audience study groups etc are increasingly being used to try and get the highest possible viewing numbers, and sod the quality of the contents because the people the output is aimed at don't quite have the same concept of quality as you or I:eek:
TV, especially at peak viewing hours is disproportionately viewed by a demographic of women, the yoof, and the erm... the intellectually challenged, often the Venn diagram will show a massive overlap here! (and no not all women before I'm accused of misogyny!). It's the same demographic that makes The Sun and The Star, on-line bingo, Mills and Boon novels, computer games and "fun" "apps" so popular and lucrative for those who make them. As a result of their intense research the BBC works out that in order to get the greatest number of people viewing they need to do "Get me out of celebrity cake baking on ice factor" type shite....
The revolution will not be televised.
The revolution will not be televised.
It will be, but it will be presented by Ant and Dec. 'I'm a situationist, get me out of here' is the working title.
I once overheard some BBC types on the train from London to Bristol, talking about a forthcoming natural history programme about penguins. They were arguing about whether to use as a final shot a scene of a baby penguin all by itself looking lost and abandoned in the icy wilderness. One bloke pointed out that in fact it hadn't been abandoned, as its mother was only a couple of feet away, and that to depict it in the way suggested was emotionally-charged dishonesty. Don't know what conclusion was reached, as I nodded off.
I once overheard some BBC types on the train from London to Bristol, talking about a forthcoming natural history programme about penguins. They were arguing about whether to use as a final shot a scene of a baby penguin all by itself looking lost and abandoned in the icy wilderness. One bloke pointed out that in fact it hadn't been abandoned, as its mother was only a couple of feet away, and that to depict it in the way suggested was emotionally-charged dishonesty. Don't know what conclusion was reached, as I nodded off.
Tell me no more Joe, please.
demographic of women, the yoof, and the erm... the intellectually challenged, often the Venn diagram will show a massive overlap here!
You really are a charmer Jez :D
They should move to a daily pay access system. Every morning they e-mail you their schedules for the next day and you decide whether to given them 50p for access to it.
I estimate that under that system I might spend £20 a year with them, tops.
Arkless Electronics
03-09-2016, 16:43
You really are a charmer Jez :D
I may be a raving lefty but my political correctness is highly selective :D
walpurgis
03-09-2016, 16:47
I may be a raving lefty but my political correctness is highly selective :D
Mine isn't. I have none! :eek:
Flippin' bleeding heart loony lefties. :lol:
I heard the new penalties were raised to televised execution for stealing bbc services :eyebrows: Gotta admit it would beat cum dancing
I'd love to indulge...
montesquieu
20-09-2016, 19:51
There really is nothing on TV any more. So I'm told anyway ... I haven't had a telly since 2004. (And previously lived without one for most of the late 80s and 90s - but when the kids are tiny you have to have something to shut them up). The only time I ever miss live TV is election night (and there's always the wireless). Though back in the 80s and 90s I did used to go round to a mate's house on a Monday night to watch Star Trek.
Of course there's now much on wireless either. They've killed The Archers turning it into an isshoos show (kiss of death any time a programme ends with the dreaded 'If you have been affected by ...' bollocks) ... it's supposed to be entertainment FFS not a public information propaganda broadcast, what is it 1943?.
In Our Time and Start the Week on R4, and The Early Music Show on R3 are still quite good but a whatever it is, a tenner a month? I don't think so.
I get a letter off them every 2 years or so that assumes I'm some kind of criminal. Well they can still go and sod thmselves.
In any case I am not involved in actually making television and in fact I don 't know anyone at the BBC who is. I imagine there might be a couple of chaps down in the basement who do that sort of thing but I really don't know.'
Did you mention Jimmy Saville? If so, I think you got away with it.
Marco.
I got fed up with coming down on Saturday morning and finding my two lads lapping up the short(ening) attention span, ad-laden, facile toss that is provided for the young, impressionable mind by our broadcasters. We came back from that years holiday to find the telly had stopped working (no fuse, how could it?) and it got pushed up to the top of our track and the council called to collect it.
We went telly-less for a few years then some friends had a film show on the side of their house with a ...projector. I didn't even know these existed, but I learned fast. We started watching stuff again, DVDs from friends, library and the car boot.*
No ads.
No short attention span toss, at least not unless I went out and purposfully got the DVD of Short Attention Span Toss vii ( The Phantom Menace)
More lately, like Jez I imagine, a certain inter-national sharing culture has filled my heart and I find most of what I want to see is out there, and pretty nippily too. A lot that you wouldn't see with a TV and a licence, too. Mostly in quality above that of a DVD.
You know I haven't had to sit through that incredibly ****ing annoying "You wouldn't steal a" bollocks at the start of a DVD for, oooh, years now.
Yes, there was a certain amount of consumer resistance to not having a telly at the time from the lads. More lately one offered the opinion, unsought, that he was really glad we'd done it. Both at UNI now, the missis and me are used to this now. Projector looks great (JVC HD1) sound is better than the cinema. We get to see stuff that's actually worth watching. The last BEEB program I thought was anywhere near what they should be doing was Wolf Hall.
* I even bought some.
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