View Full Version : Enjoy Every Minute of Every Track!
This is not supposed to be a depressing thread, so apologies if I come across all morose! We lost a guy at work at the weekend - fit as you like, (does iron-man challenges, triathlons, eats healthily, drinks moderately, doesn't smoke etc.) - went out for a run on Sunday, and dropped down stone dead when he got home. Aged 44, partner and 2 kids. Really terribly, terribly sad for them, and he was a very senior guy at work, and will leave a big hole in the Company's plans (I was actually in our London office for a team meeting when we got the news - not a nice start to the week.)
Anyway, my point is, just to remind everyone - we're all going to shuffle off our mortal coils one day, too - so if your holding off whether or not to buy that new amp, or the Beatles box set or going on holiday or changing your car or making up with someone you've fallen out, getting back in touch with an old friend you promised yourself you would - its a cliché - but life really is too short sometimes...
When Life plays, she behaves like the unconscious child she is : sometimes joyful and creative, sometimes cruel and destructive.
Mother Destiny, I beg you : please keep an eye on your children when they approach my friends. :(
steveinspain
17-11-2009, 16:41
Alex,
It sounds like your man from work certainly lived life to the full, but so sad for his family.
As you say, we all need to remember at times that anything can happen.
I had a moment many years ago - a motorbike accident that resulted in me loosing my business, my house, any money I had, and I have had 11 (I think) operations since, with more to come.
However, I also met Kate, who nursed me and is now my wife and mum to our kids.
From then on I have tried to look on the bright side, have often failed, but generally it seems to be true that every moment spent being down is a lost moment.
Being down can sometimes help you appreciate the happy times more - been there and done it!
We all have different life-journeys and many "tasks" to perform on each, I feel. What's important perhaps is to try to understand what it is you need to achieve in the life you have and perhaps to see how you can use these lessons and talents to help "life" and all within it...
Apologies if that's pompous above, but I do try to go by the term, "Oneness IS"
Sorry to hear of your bad news and loss, Alex. Sadly, your work colleague's time was just up; that's how it goes :(
I completely agree with the sentiments of your thread title...
That's precisely why I worked my ass off (stupidly so) building up my business, often 7 days a week until ridiculous hours, securing my future to ensure that I could retire as soon as possible, and enjoy life with those most important to me.
Therefore, now at the same age your work colleague was when he died, I am mortgage and debt-free; thus financially secure, and to all intents and purposes semi-retired, which means that I can concentrate on the really important things in life such as you have described. I suppose that's not bad at 44.
Now, don't get me wrong, I consider myself very fortunate indeed (and count my blessings) to be in the position I'm in (and who knows, I could pop my clogs tomorrow), but I do feel that in these financially difficult and pressurised times, where everyone's running about like headless chickens trying to support a certain lifestyle, it's very easy to take your eye off the ball and place too much importance on material things which really aren't so important at all.....
Perhaps for those reading your rather poignant thread who can see a bit of themselves in the description above, (and especially with Christmas coming up and the demands from children that come with it), should take some time out to examine their lives and make some crucial changes before it's all too little, too late.
Marco.
In the past I used to help out with CRUSE as a volunteer counsellor I found it a very humbling experience.
I see Bearvement as a very personal journey but also believe its very important to make the best you can out of this life. I think unfortantly we often measure this by material gains but for me its the difference I make to my family friends and community.
Spectral Morn
17-11-2009, 23:33
This is not supposed to be a depressing thread, so apologies if I come across all morose! We lost a guy at work at the weekend - fit as you like, (does iron-man challenges, triathlons, eats healthily, drinks moderately, doesn't smoke etc.) - went out for a run on Sunday, and dropped down stone dead when he got home. Aged 44, partner and 2 kids. Really terribly, terribly sad for them, and he was a very senior guy at work, and will leave a big hole in the Company's plans (I was actually in our London office for a team meeting when we got the news - not a nice start to the week.)
Anyway, my point is, just to remind everyone - we're all going to shuffle off our mortal coils one day, too - so if your holding off whether or not to buy that new amp, or the Beatles box set or going on holiday or changing your car or making up with someone you've fallen out, getting back in touch with an old friend you promised yourself you would - its a cliché - but life really is too short sometimes...
IMHO this is the most important post in this forums history and indeed in any forums history in particular to the highlighted text and only the other if it doesn't lead to future problems.
I would add...Never leave unsaid that you love someone. Never let the sun set on an argument. Forgive even if it means you don't get it in return. If that still small voice with in you suggest you ring or go see someone...do it you never know what difference that might make. You just never know if its your last minute, hour or day or theirs. Regret is the slow killer in life and in grief most things can in time be resolved, but regret can't ever be healed imho/e. I should add that its not always easy to do, but we should try.
Oh to me able to tell my mum that I loved her on the last night I saw her alive. As I drove home that small voice spoke to me "Go back". I dismissed the thoughts/feelings/intuition that I should go back. I know she knew I loved her, but I regret not telling her that. I told her I would see her tomorrow and I did, but she was not able to hear me as she was in a coma and died about an hour after I got to the hospital. There are other things I regret, but this for me was where the pain was mostly. Sorry to bring this into this thread, but last week was the 4th anniversary of her death 12th of November and things are a bit raw still. The pain changes as time goes by.
John the work you did for CRUSE was very worth while indeed.
Regards D S D L
Oh to me able to tell my mum that I loved her on the last night I saw her alive. As I drove home that small voice spoke to me "Go back". I dismissed the thoughts/feelings/intuition that I should go back. I know she knew I loved her, but I regret not telling her that. I told her I would see her tomorrow and I did, but she was not able to hear me as she was in a coma and died about an hour after I got to the hospital. There are other things I regret, but this for me was where the pain was mostly. Sorry to bring this into this thread, but last week was the 4th anniversary of her death 12th of November and things are a bit raw still. The pain changes as time goes by.
Hmmm... for me, this is neither the time nor place. But perhaps, you and I might share a drink one day? You may understand me just a little bit better? ;)
ATB,
Mike.
Spectral Morn
18-11-2009, 00:01
Hmmm... for me, this is neither the time nor place. But perhaps, you and I might share a drink one day? You may understand me just a little bit better? ;)
ATB,
Mike.
PM me or give me a phone.
Regards D S D L
Good post Alex, sorry about your Coworker.
Christmas will be tough for his Family...
I guess It's the search to make sense of a tragedy like this and try and make something positive from it that's important.
And you did it
We all have our stories to tell, the important thing I guess is to remember that really, were not all that different
One other thing I always say to people (and I can't remember where I got this from) but you never see "I wish I'd gone to work more" on a tombstone...
RochaCullen
18-11-2009, 16:18
If you are to take anything from this tradgedy, I would say "Enjoy Every Minute of Every Track" should come a close second to getting yourself checked out.
This very thing happened to my uncle recently. However, when he got home his run, he was gifted enough time to get in contact with a doctor and explain how he was feeling. They did all sorts of test on him, but like your friend he was a fit bloke so they told him it was nothing. However, he explained the history our family has with heart problems, and they immediately sent him into hospital to get proper tests performed and stay overnight.
That night he had a massive heart attack, but where better to be when having a heart attack than in the hospital.
It was touch and go with him for a couple of days. The problem was caused by a collapsed artery, which, the doctor said, may have been in that condition for quite a while (we're talking decades). They sorted him out by sticking a number of stents in to open this artery up.
So the moral is, should you have a history of heart problems in your family and you are getting to that age, get your doctor to book you in for a full checkup.
One other thing I always say to people (and I can't remember where I got this from) but you never see "I wish I'd gone to work more" on a tombstone...
'The cemetery's full of indispensable people'
And weeds.
I met the grim reaper there once, too - seemed quite a nice chap, actually.
Marco.
StanleyB
18-11-2009, 18:52
I have been thinking of starting a similar thread for more than a week now, so this one gives me a good excuse to put down what's been on my mind.
I lost a very dear friend a month or so ago. His funeral service was last week Wednesday. He and me had been planning to further develop a few products that we started on a few years back, but didn't pursue. The idea was that he would resign from his job next year, and then join me. We were the first people to develop a range of LED lighting products for B&Q nearly 9 years ago, but B&Q kept putting back the order and asked s to make the products cheaper. So we ended up showing it round to various companies, but our bosses did not back us production wise due to the cost involved. His claim to fame is the fact that he designed a range of electrical switches, trailing leads, sockets, etc. that are now fitted to houses up and down the country. Next time you pick up an electrical switch or socket and see the brand name Philex, you'll know it's my friend who designed it.
My friend called me a month ago to say goodbye. We joked about him being asleep so often when I called. I asked him if he was practicing in advance of passing away. It was a very difficult conversation, but during his short illness we always made jokes about it and about life. What else could we do? It is not often that we get to say goodbye to someone before they pass away.
Sorry to hear of your loss Stan. I know what you mean about black humour, but as you say, what else can you do? I think in this day and age, we almost don't expect to die, so it can be quite uncomfortable when you see it first hand. (I lost a good friend to cancer and had a similar experience to you.) As long as they are remembered, and in our hearts their legacy continues to live on.
Stan really sorry to hear about you loss and agree with Alex that they live on in our memories and hearts
Spectral Morn
18-11-2009, 23:13
Me too Stan.
Regards D S D L
Sorry to hear about that, Stan. It's always more difficult for those who stay than for the ones who pass away. :(
I feel the need to resurrect this thread this evening (maybe I should have asked Chris (The Grand Wazoo) to make it a "Beyond the Grave" thread!) but today is the 3rd anniversary of the passing of my wife's cousin, who tragically died aged just 17 from leukemia. As per my initial post, not for morose reasons, because even though it is the anniversary of a sad day, like all anniversaries of sad days, we lit a candle for her and remembered her - if they live on in your hearts, then they are never forgotten.
I remember my dreams and aspirations as a 17 year old - I'm just lucky I lived long enough never to realise them! :lol: Just remember - tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.
The Grand Wazoo
12-09-2010, 22:40
Wise words Alex. You said it better than I could have, mate.
Cheers Chris. I was just listening to Manic Star by Conjure One - and although this is probably more suited to the lyrics thread, it is more apt for this one:
One day, yes, one day less to live
I want you to be my sedative
Sometimes when I drive my car
I feel trapped like a bee inside a jar
Grains of sand is all we are
Crawling on our manic star
One tiny person
In one shiny car
Spinning on our manic star
Time doesn't stop for anyone
It doesn't matter what you've done
I want to lose myself in you
Are you afraid of dying too?
Grains of sand is all we are
Crawling on our manic star
One tiny person
In one shiny car
Calling from our manic star
Let's love like there is no tomorrow
Shelter each other from the pain and sorrow
Grains of sand is all we are
Crawling on our manic star
One tiny person
In one shiny car
Don't know how I got this scar
Crawling on our manic star
I'm all right, at least so far
Hanging on our manic star
Spinning on our manic star
Calling from our manic star one:
Granted it isn't Keats, but if you can ignore the fact that we're on a planet not a star it is reasonably prophetic! :)
One of my other favourite clichés - there were people on the Titanic that said "no" to the sweet trolley.
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