Cliff Richard

[Covenant]

I have heard persistant rumours that he has a colostomy bag. AOS members are a wealth of knowledge so is it true?

[DSJR]

I've heard other rumours over the years, but the main one is that he was/is married to his career and that came first and last in his life.....

[Beechwoods]

While it may be a point of debate and discussion whether Mr Richards is plumbed for liquids, it's definitely true that he's wired for sound.

[DaveK]

I've heard other rumours over the years, but the main one is that he was/is married to his career and that came first and last in his life.....

Hi Dave,
Is that, "....married to his career", or ".....married to his carer", 'cos I've heard rumours to that effect also. ;)
Cheers,

[Alex_UK]

Nick - Congratulations, The Next Time, The Minute You're Gone, Please Don't Tease - take a Summer Holiday! (Travellin' Light, of course! ;))

[Covenant]

Its just that if I ever meet him I will know not to grab him round the waist and say "hello there me old mucker" ( causing him to become Richard the Turd.)

[Puffin]

I think it was just one of those rumours that were going around over 20 years ago. My wife and her mate were Cliff fans for ever and I went to a few concerts at Wembley about 15 - 20 years ago. He is/was a great performer with a great voice. In fact "Weird (pun intended) for Sound is an excellent album. The track "better than I know myself" is excellent IMO

[Covenant]

I like that one he did with Van Morrison-Whenever God Shines His Light, its on VM's greatest hits.

[REM]

That VM duet gives me the creeps, there is something deeply disturbing about it. If anyone is in any doubt regarding Cliffs' 'orientation' may I suggest you check out his epic movie debut, the classic 'Expresso Bongo' as reviewed in Analogue Magazine (http://www.analoguemagazine.com/tag/expresso-bongo/)

....Oddly the English rock and roll film efforts, which followed in its (The Girl Can't Help It) wake, now seem more compelling and exciting. “Expresso Bongo” (1959), which featured a youthful Cliff Richard, is tremendous. Cliff plays a teen singer called Bert Rudge who listens to the advice of his manager, realises he’ll never have a hit with a name like that, and changes it to erm, Bongo Herbert. The mood, feel and soundtrack of the film are terrific though – you can almost smell the Brillcreem. It’s easily the best of Cliff’s films, and it is in fact better than any of Elvis’ better-known movie efforts. It captures pre-Beatles British pop beautifully.

Great film but old Bongo Herbert is as camp as they come, all just too natural to be (un)true, IMHO of course.;)

Cheers

[Joe]

I have heard persistant rumours that he has a colostomy bag. AOS members are a wealth of knowledge so is it true?

Nearly. Cliff Richards is a colostomy bag.

[Puffin]

Has he ever written a hit himself?

[Covenant]

Watched that programme with Cliff and Piers the other night. I have decided I dont think he has a colostomy bag. It would really slosh round when he played tennis would't it?
I wish he had some quirk though that would make him a bit less angelic. Dressing up in rubber or sniffing bicycle seats for example.

[Marco]

No need for a colostomy bag when he's got one of these bad boys strapped underneath his Levis:

http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/1295/cliffrichard.png (http://img27.imageshack.us/i/cliffrichard.png/)

Dave says he swears by them! :lol:

;)

Marco.

P.S Jerry, there's nowt wrong with a right royal shnortle of a well-worn and thus 'aromatically-infused' tart's bicycle saddle! I consider myself a connoisseur :eyebrows:

[DSJR]

Which Dave ??????????????????

Oh, I think I've got the "joke" - Charming................................. :D

When you get older Marco, you may have rather the opposite problem, especially in the wee-wee dept ;)

[Marco]

Dave K, but you'll do!! :lol: :D

;)

Marco.

P.S Have you got shares in Tena (for men)?

[Spectral Morn]

Well all three of you talk a pile O pish :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: So you need them now.


Regards D S D L

[DaveK]

Dave K, but you'll do!! :lol: :D
;)
Marco.

Marco!!!!! - I'm shocked - you said you wouldn't tell anyone!! - that's it, we've finished now!! I'll return all your presents shortly. :lolsign: :lolsign: .

Seriously though, I didn't associate myself with the remark, I assumed you must be talking about one of the other Dave's. I am pleased that you have given me the opportunity to put on the public record that I am still in full control of my bowel and bladder and most other bodily functions, :ner: .
I'm reminded of a response I once got when I was complaing about getting old: - "Only the lucky grow old" - stay lucky! :)
Cheers,