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The Barbarian
20-02-2015, 17:57
As from today i'm done with buying records. I have never know anything worse in my entire life, Frustrating is putting it lightly. The dealers & personal sellers ive been involved with over the last year have turned out to be total liars, manipulating the grading system to their own advantage. Records are never graded right. It's a nightmare locating the records i want in the first place only to find they are unacceptable when they arrive. The postage is a joke. Buying a £5 12" single turns out being a tenner a time, you send it back that's two lots of postage lost & they know this. I am 47 years old & im getting nowhere at all..

I am naturally very impatient, won't suffer fools when i want something i want it now & in the condition i supposedly intended it being in. This is far from happening & i quite frankly am not playing any more.My patience has run dry. I accept it's over but it's now finding a way of recuperating the money by selling what remaining Hi-Fi & Records i have. I understand it's far easier to walk away from music completely.Im a person of all or nothing.

So what do i have out of pissing about buying records since i was 15 years old. 50 LP's im happy to say meet my expectations in quality/Condition. Pathetic really & stands to no suprise being a complete failure in absolutely everything i put my hand to in life.

I can't wait for the day im in a box 6ft under. that's how i feel.

Rubbish Stereo
Rubbbish Job with so few hours i can only just live
No house any more/Living in a pathetic flat {never mind neighbours that drive me insaine} Can't even use my speakers.
No savings to speak of
Two kids i never see & have no idea where they are

I just sit with my head in my hands & cry on most occasions & think where did i go wrong, Music is the one thing that hold me {has held me} together & stops me doing something stupid. A strong headed person with such enthusiasm reduced to nothing of a person.

Two weakness in life Wrong women & being sucked into loving music.

Well it's over.

RichB
20-02-2015, 18:24
To doubt and question yourself shows that you are only human.

Try not to think it through too much though, look for some joy and distraction in simpler things. Find some birds to feed and enjoy their singing, take an unloved patch of earth near you and plant some seeds and bulbs in it. It's the time of year for it.

These things help me keep the dog and doubts away and show me I have a simple value to the world beyond my job, home or hifi.

Marco
20-02-2015, 18:27
Andre,

Dunno what to say, dude. Just very sad to hear… I only hope that things improve for you soon, and that somehow you can find some semblance of happiness and contentment in your life.

If posting your feelings here on the forum (as a form of release) helps that process or makes it easier to cope with your current situation, then you’ll always be welcome to do that. I think you know that anyway. Just….take care.

Marco.

struth
20-02-2015, 19:28
I can only say "don't take too much to heart"mate. we all have times when life gets too much. It will clear up as a rainstorm passes and the bow appears.... just keep chilled.:)

Ronksley
20-02-2015, 19:56
Dont let the shit get you down
and whatever you do dont sell your kit or your records you know you will regret it ( or if you do sell it to me I will give a good home )
I totally understand your frustrations escpecially when it comes to buying vinyl thats why I listen to CD no noise no pops no crackles no jumps I ocassioanlly get a scratched one but they cost so little I dont care and if its 50p or a quid from a charity shop they will hoepfully use the money for some good
There is lots of shit in this world dont let it get you down

Spectral Morn
20-02-2015, 20:07
Andre we all have moments like this and sometimes when those moments become too common, too often we need to recognise that we may need help to deal with these feelings.

My advice is talk to someone who is a professional in such matters re these feelings, please get help.

You are among friends here, we care for you and if posting this helps you then that's great and as Marco says go for it.

There have been times I have been very low - last few years have been very hard for me - and Marco, and others here have helped, being here on AoS has helped me but in what you have written I sense someone for whom while AoS may well help, I feel you need to seek help in addition, so please speak to your Dr.

I hope my words haven't embarrassed you, if they have I am sorry but I feel the above needs saying.


Regards Neil

Tarzan
20-02-2015, 20:09
Hi Andre, all though our paths have not passed, you are showing only a human trait of self doubt - we all do this, none more so than myself.

l just brought an expensive cartridge that l am struggling with- money is not everything!

In the morning, take a walk along a river or some green fields listen to the birds sing ( they yet they have the most stressful life finding food and evading predators) and the smell of the earth- LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL.

I know what you mean about buying and collecting records though.:)


So all the best from me and never let the bastards grind you down.:)

Gordon Steadman
20-02-2015, 20:31
Hi Andre,

It is probably no help but it's not just you that goes through this sort of shit.

At one time, I lived in a house worth £1,000,000, had a fleet of cars and a thriving business. Lost the lot, the house, the cars, everything that went with it, including the woman.

It took a while but here I am, no longer rich but happy, with someone that I care for deeply and with more hi-fis than I can listen to, including that 33/303 of course - reason enough to be happy:)

So the shit can pass. You just need to stick with it and find the good that is out there. Sometimes it just needs someone to talk it through with, sometimes a kick up the arse to set you on a different path which is what happened to me.

Just don't buy a CD player yet:eyebrows:

r100
20-02-2015, 20:41
get a bicycle, choose a direction and ride for a couple of months. won't cost much.

NRG
20-02-2015, 22:20
When you're up to your armpits in alligators it's difficult to remember the objective was to drain the swamp first...

Take a step back, re-asses and get a realistic perspective on life...cycling is I agree a great way to re-calibrate, it worked for me in the past...

awkwardbydesign
20-02-2015, 23:21
I know you got pissed off with me recently, but please don't let stuff get to you like this. There is more to life, and if I found it so can you.

Anthony K
21-02-2015, 02:17
Never give up Andre. The last 8 years of my life have been depressing to say the least. Music is the 1 love that has never let me down. I have learnt the hard way to enjoy and value the small things that bring happiness in life. You are not alone , we are all living in truly testing times. As Marley said 'today could bring your lucky number' and as mum says 'chin up son'.

Macca
21-02-2015, 11:48
If any of us were to sit down and make a list of everything wrong with our lives and everything we had done wrong in the past, the mistakes, the regrets, the lost opportunities, we would all feel like killing ourselves. It is not a unique situation, it is simply what happens if we concentrate on the negatives instead of the positives. We create a downward spiral of self-hatred and depression, a tailspin which becomes increasingly impossible to pull ourselves out of. I've been there myself on more than one occasion, being unable to find any joy in life. Doctors call it 'clinical depression'.

We cannot bend the world to our will no matter how hard we try and attempting to do so will only lead to greater frustration and unhappiness.

Much better to make a list of everything that is good about our lives - a roof over our head, people who care about us, that we have our health and many more positive experiences ahead that we cannot even conceive of. I'm not saying it is easy, nothing worthwhile is. But it is far better than the alternative which is to wallow in self-pity until it breaks us completely.

It is perhaps the most damaging lie that our current society tells us: that life is supposed to be a bed of roses in which nothing goes wrong and we have great jobs, money in the bank, fantastic wife and children, a big house with his and hers BMWs in the driveway and so on. In the words of Ice T: 'shit ain't like that. It's real fucked up' - but I'm damned if I'm going to let it ruin my life.

Gazjam
21-02-2015, 12:56
Help others Andre.
You'll be amazed how quickly your outlook can improve when you realise we are all the same deep down.

Find a purpose...goof off, do something you've not done in years or fancied trying.
Do it now.
Life can be good, but can be difficult too, for everyone.
Hard as it can be, try to be thankful for what you have, every day.

You've a good bunch of mates here at AOS, and as our Scottish Mafia get togethers have shown, can be in the "real world" too. :)

Floyddroid
21-02-2015, 14:19
Been where you are, felt how you feel. Some days i still do. If you know in your heart you are a good man then you will find the strength to see the light at the end of a pitch black tunnel. I have suffered from being abandoned by life long friends and those who have even told lies about me to discredit me and bolster their own flagging ego. Look inwards and have faith in yourself. I don't know you at all but i can fully sympathise with how you are feeling. Get out of your flat and feel the world outside.
Help others Andre.
You'll be amazed how quickly your outlook can improve when you realise we are all the same deep down.

Find a purpose...goof off, do something you've not done in years or fancied trying.
Do it now.
Life can be good, but can be difficult too, for everyone.
Hard as it can be, try to be thankful for what you have, every day.

You've a good bunch of mates here at AOS, and as our Scottish Mafia get togethers have shown, can be in the "real world" too. :)

Audio Al
21-02-2015, 15:19
Life is what you make it

Everyone has issues at times including me

I dont aspire too greater things , just live life day by day

I am happy mooching around boot sales as my weekly entertainment even if I only spend a £5 on five or six records i'm happy

My life is in ruins as well what with , divorce , parents both passing away , Family politics re the will tearing the family apart , I don't see 2 of my 3 children or any of my remaining family , I call it life :roll eyes: but this is my life and I have to get on with it , I also work nights outside and this is crap as well

Will I quit , NO I WONT

I am hoping its not raining tomorrow Booty day , Torch charges , Bags ready for the off , so another day in whats left of my life :)

RichB
22-02-2015, 01:36
Taking some of own advice... Today I passed BnQ and wandered into their garden centre, garden centres are odd places at this time of year as they don't really have much to sell until Easter and bank holidays are here. I came across a corner full of abandoned sorry looking plants for a quid or two each and got some wildflower seeds for pennies. Stopped by a local hardware shop on the way home and got a few galvanized steel buckets and gathered some old biscuit tins, you know the type gets sold cheap just after Christmas. Spent this evening banging a few holes in em, made up some quirky looking pots which will brighten the garden up no end over the coming months and give the bees and insects a treat. With a bit of care the abandoned plants will come good again and I'll enjoy seeing them do their thing.

It is no coincidence that some of the best kept gardens you will find exist in the most troubled places, such as psychiatric hospitals and prisons. They have healing properties beyond measure, of that I am certain.

Gordon Steadman
22-02-2015, 07:51
Taking some of own advice... Today I passed BnQ and wandered into their garden centre, garden centres are odd places at this time of year as they don't really have much to sell until Easter and bank holidays are here. I came across a corner full of abandoned sorry looking plants for a quid or two each and got some wildflower seeds for pennies. Stopped by a local hardware shop on the way home and got a few galvanized steel buckets and gathered some old biscuit tins, you know the type gets sold cheap just after Christmas. Spent this evening banging a few holes in em, made up some quirky looking pots which will brighten the garden up no end over the coming months and give the bees and insects a treat. With a bit of care the abandoned plants will come good again and I'll enjoy seeing them do their thing.

It is no coincidence that some of the best kept gardens you will find exist in the most troubled places, such as psychiatric hospitals and prisons. They have healing properties beyond measure, of that I am certain.

My wife is a professional gardner. She certainly has healing properties beyond measure for me:)

RichB
22-02-2015, 08:40
My wife is a professional gardner. She certainly has healing properties beyond measure for me:)

I used to keep an allotment until last year when I gave it up. Being away with work a lot meant that I could no longer give it the attention it deserved and I decided to focus on my home patch more. The allotment was a godsend when I was going through a redundancy. Being down there for a few quiet hours working in the outdoors used to clear my mind and bringing bits of food home at the end of it was worthwhile.

The summer of 2012 was tough mind, the relentless rain, weeds and slugs were tough. I saw even the most dedicated gardeners throw the towel in as their crops either bolted, rotted or were destroyed by the mega slugs.

Gordon Steadman
22-02-2015, 09:43
I used to keep an allotment until last year when I gave it up. Being away with work a lot meant that I could no longer give it the attention it deserved and I decided to focus on my home patch more. The allotment was a godsend when I was going through a redundancy. Being down there for a few quiet hours working in the outdoors used to clear my mind and bringing bits of food home at the end of it was worthwhile.

The summer of 2012 was tough mind, the relentless rain, weeds and slugs were tough. I saw even the most dedicated gardeners throw the towel in as their crops either bolted, rotted or were destroyed by the mega slugs.

I never thought that I would get into it at all. My idea of gardening was mowing the grass or washing the concrete. However, before we came out here, we had an allotment in Molesey. I tended the saplings that are now a hedge in our garden here. Very relaxing after a hard day's work teaching grannies to suck eggs (I had to show kitchen fitters how to fit my designs!!:doh:)

snorbans
22-02-2015, 10:04
What's on your vinyl wish list?

Gordon Steadman
22-02-2015, 10:15
What's on your vinyl wish list?

I assume this is a general question rather than aimed at one person??

I don't have a vinyl wish list. I already have more than I can play in the rest of my lifetime (I'm 68 in a few weeks). If I see something I fancy I might buy it but there is nothing at the mo. Download places are useful because, if I do discover something I like, I can then go and buy the LP.

The Barbarian
22-02-2015, 10:34
What's on your vinyl wish list?

Apart from wanting a totally mint in every respect early pressing of Pink Floyd 'Dark Side Of The Moon', 'Animals' & Van Der Graaf Generator 'Still Life' i don't buy LP's anymore..

I'm short of around 1,000 12" singles in all, must be in minto condition from the below labels. £5-£8 a time + postage is a lotta money.Locating em is worse than locating your fav LP's. :rolleyes:

Harthouse Records {U.K, America, Frankfurt & Manheim}
Dragonfly Records
Transient Records
Flying Rhino Records
Rising High Records
Superstition Records
Underground French-Kommunication Records

struth
22-02-2015, 11:26
I used to be very picky on mint albums myself but old age has softened me up now. i only have 1 copy of dsotm left in my collection....a lowly 5th issue. still like the vinyl to be in nice nick as overall its about the music and thats why i pretty much only buy 180 gm new stuff now

The Barbarian
22-02-2015, 11:31
Im an headphone listerner Grant so you can understand crackles will stand out like a sore thumb more than they would with low level speaker listerning. However my illness wont allow rough packets & marks on records

1st issue of 'Dark Side Of The Moon' {Solid light blue Prism label} is insanity price wise, a 2nd issue will have to do. Same with Animals ive seen 1st issues with wide spines go over £100.00

Audio Advent
22-02-2015, 12:40
get a bicycle, choose a direction and ride for a couple of months. won't cost much.

Personally I think that's great advice both taken literally or not. Really escaping the mindset of your current situation can disrupt the habitual thought processes which keep depression ever present.

Learning that at the drop of a hat you can change 90% of your life is a valuable lesson. You just need the freedom of thought to make that choice - that freedom is what depression masks.

Audio Advent
22-02-2015, 13:00
However my illness wont allow rough packets & marks on records


Hopefully you realise on admission to yourself of having an illness that your first post in this thread has nothing what so ever to do with music and is ALL to do with depression. It wouldn't matter what you were into; music, trains, first edition books, Harry Potter memorabilia, Star Wars figures... collecting which moves into the zone of obsession and strong emotional disatisfaction of quality or not having the full collection and then feeling so low, they are all symptoms of depression and anxiety. It's considered fact at the moment in the mental health world that hoarding (not saying you're hoarding - my personal experience IS from hoarding, I'm happy to share that with you) and obsessions come from a place of personal anxiety, perhaps induced from past life, childhood whatever..

I hope you can seriously consider getting proper and long-term help for yourself. I see you're from Yorkshire and I (ok, this might sound like rude and promoting stereotypes.. but here goes) get the impression from proud Yorkshiremen and lasses I've met that seeking help is the last thing one considers, there's pride in just brushing yourself off and trying to deal with it yourself. Please fight against that and either go to your GP asking for help or go directly to any of the mental health teams in your area - Google "Yorkshire CMHT" to find contact details for Community Mental Health Teams. Going when you're feeling low is probably the best time - when a GP or health care worker can get a real impression of how it's effecting you. And please understand that it's ok to get upset infront of them - they're strangers and won't judge.

You know, your desire to get rid of everything I think is actually your inner self having a moment of clarity, like your body trying to purge itself of something. Use it to act now. Please.

The Barbarian
22-02-2015, 13:09
I can't because everything ive lived for will be gone.I promise you i would not be a nice person to live with.

Gazjam
22-02-2015, 13:52
www.youtube.com/watch?v=d-diB65scQU%7C
Could always be worse mate, some folk don't even HAVE vinyl!



... Or health, use of their legs, ability to see, stable and safe home life, long to live...etc.
(mean this in the nicest way btw Andre)

Gazjam
22-02-2015, 13:55
Spot on.


Personally I think that's great advice both taken literally or not. Really escaping the mindset of your current situation can disrupt the habitual thought processes which keep depression ever present.

Learning that at the drop of a hat you can change 90% of your life is a valuable lesson. You just need the freedom of thought to make that choice - that freedom is what depression masks.

Eagle owl
23-02-2015, 19:38
Andre, before doing anything else please make an appointment with your GP and tell him or her how you are feeling, from what you've said I would guess you are suffering from severe depression.

I do hope you feel better soon.

Geoff.

The Barbarian
24-02-2015, 16:35
I can assure you guys i am not Depressed it's mostly a sign of No money & being in a situation where im in a corner in every respect.

The record situation is just me being angry with dishonest seller.

Audio Advent
24-02-2015, 16:42
So saying "I can't wait for the day im in a box 6ft under. that's how i feel" and that you cry with your head in your hands..

It wasn't true?? You just had an ebay dispute??

Either way I personally think it amounts to a good reason for a GP visit - non-perfect vinyl shouldn't cause someone to write that first post. Collecting and emotionally harming reactions brought on by collecting are still of concern for a mentally healthy, happy life and you can find help via your GP.

The Barbarian
24-02-2015, 16:43
i was 100% certain you would be the first to answer

PLEASE GET OF MY BACK & DO NOT REPLY AGAIN.

Audio Advent
24-02-2015, 16:47
It was the first post in the New Posts section!

What's your problem? We're online at the same time - don't post if you don't want replies. Write it down on a piece of paper and then throw it in the bin.. :lol:

Spectral Morn
24-02-2015, 18:58
Ok folks please be sensitive and respect Andre.

Yes I know some folks think tough love and being up front is the best approach but this is not always true and can be counter productive, so keep that in mind.

Audio Advent your last post showed a lack of understanding, and tact, yes Andre posted what he posted and I know you feel you are offering help and sound advice but that last post was not helpful in my opinion.



Regards Neil

Audio Advent
26-02-2015, 03:01
Absolutely - I certainly didnt understand the accusation of stalking when it would be obvious that two people on the forum at the same time would end up responding to each other's posts on different threads.

Unless you mean the post previous to that? Mental health is a serious issue for those who genuinely suffer and shouldnt be used for effect in public without receiving at least some scrutiny if later contradicted. But the last part of my post gave benefit of doubt, suggesting a trip to the GP is still a good idea for anyone experiencing great stress over such things. With respect then I disagree that it lacked tact and understanding. Of course its a sensitive area but it is so sensitive that it necessarily involves some honest and straight talking sometimes. Being too worried to challenge in case you might upset someone is actually counter-productive in the wider picture, especially for anyone reading who might be suffering silently. You have to think about those reading too as part of that understanding.

Gazjam
26-02-2015, 11:52
Agree with this.

karma67
26-02-2015, 17:11
i dont think he's got depression either,when i had mild depression 10 yrs ago i couldn't be arsed to wash or brush my teeth let alone play and listen to music,i think your just in a horrible rut. either way i hope things turn around for you mate.

r100
05-03-2015, 08:55
Freedom is what depression masks

1++
:)

Light Dependant Resistor
05-03-2015, 09:45
Hi Andre
If music is what you love, lets talk about that.

If your system needs some updating, I am sure there are many of us here on the forum
that can assist and would be very happy to help you with that. Cheer up !

I am in New Zealand, lovely country, but a bit hard to get hifi to you, but I can help
out with a stereo coffee LDR kit.

Cheers / Chris