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View Full Version : How to Give a Cat a Pill!



Mike
21-07-2009, 18:01
How to Give a Cat A Pill
> http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/281/cid5c30937f71834254b300.jpg
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> 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby.Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
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> Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
>
> 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa.
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> Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
>
> 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
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> 4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm, holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger.
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> Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
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> 5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
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> 6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
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> http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/3233/cid90db5da3c42443b4b650.jpg
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> 7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
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> 8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.
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> Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
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> http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/2688/cid4f5b0b265a1641fb8442.jpg
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> 9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
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> 10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard, and close door onto neck, to leave head showing.
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> Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
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> 11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot.
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> Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
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> 12. Call fire department to retrieve the damn cat from across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
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> 13. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy-duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill
> into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.
>
> =
>
> http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/5641/cided3cefe4b85a45b899d5.jpg
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> 14. Consume remainder of scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.
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> 15. Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.
>
> How To Give A Dog A Pill
>
> 1. Wrap it in bacon.
>
> 2. Toss it in the air.
>
> http://img339.imageshack.us/img339/4682/cidd243c578c19949819af9.jpg

Marco
21-07-2009, 18:09
Yer pics are no workin'! Loads of wee red crosses with white boxes, though! ;)

Marco.

DaveK
21-07-2009, 18:09
As a long time owner of cats (actually they 'own'; you !), and current owner of 3, I can personally testify to the accuracy of this post.:lol::lol::lol: Great - I like it.
Cheers,

Beechwoods
21-07-2009, 18:16
:doh:

This is what happened the last time I tried to give our cat a pill! Back scratched to buggery. And this was after having wrapped him securely in a towel!

http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss49/aos_images/beechwoods/IMG_1405.jpg

Mike
21-07-2009, 18:18
Yer pics are no workin'! Loads of wee red crosses with white boxes, though! ;)

Marco.

Check your email. Will try to sort pics later, I'm still chuckling at the moment. :D

Mike
21-07-2009, 18:19
:doh:

This is what happened the last time I tried to give our cat a pill! Back scratched to buggery. And this was after having wrapped him securely in a towel!

http://i560.photobucket.com/albums/ss49/aos_images/beechwoods/IMG_1405.jpg

Nice undercrackers mate. :lol:

Marco
21-07-2009, 18:22
This is what happened the last time I tried to give our cat a pill! Back scratched to buggery. And this was after having wrapped him securely in a towel!


Liar, liar... That's what happened when you stole yer boyfriend's floral summer dress at Glasto - you biatch! :lol: :eyebrows:

Marco.

P.S Nice scanties, btw ;)

Beechwoods
21-07-2009, 18:22
Nice undercrackers mate. :lol:

PJs ... or leisure pants as we middle classes like to call them :lol:

Marco
21-07-2009, 18:29
Leisure pants, eh? Do they come with matching slippers:

http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/94/sheepslippers.png (http://img411.imageshack.us/i/sheepslippers.png/)

:eyebrows:

Marco.

Beechwoods
21-07-2009, 18:35
Sadly not... this is more my kind of thing... me and the missus, casual like.

http://www.travelweekly.co.uk/blogs/PJs.JPG

Mike
21-07-2009, 18:40
Pic's sorted....

Mike
21-07-2009, 18:45
As a long time owner of cats (actually they 'own'; you !), and current owner of 3, I can personally testify to the accuracy of this post.:lol::lol::lol: Great - I like it.
Cheers,

As a life-long cat lover I second wot he said!

Beechwoods
21-07-2009, 18:48
This is more like it

http://www.peacockshock.com/archives/cat%20hat%2002-thumb.jpg

Marco
21-07-2009, 18:56
Feck they're normal compared to this:

http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/6765/madcat.png (http://img504.imageshack.us/i/madcat.png/)

Check the fizzog on that! :lol:

Marco.

Beechwoods
21-07-2009, 19:01
Yes, but mine have lineage going back to William The Conqueror.

Mike
21-07-2009, 19:05
William the Mincer, more like! :lol:

Marco
21-07-2009, 19:08
Hehehe :eyebrows:

Meanwhile..........

http://img385.imageshack.us/img385/1824/madcat2.png (http://img385.imageshack.us/i/madcat2.png/)

Marco.

Spectral Morn
21-07-2009, 19:12
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::D... ..




Regards D S D L

Marco
21-07-2009, 19:16
This dude is one bad-ass mutha:

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/809/madcat3.png (http://img263.imageshack.us/i/madcat3.png/)

Marco.

Beechwoods
21-07-2009, 19:21
Oh dear...

http://img210.imageshack.us/img210/2384/cpn2008eto01640ex8do2.jpg

Mike
21-07-2009, 19:27
http://img29.imageshack.us/img29/8921/pic22241.jpg
By shian7 (http://profile.imageshack.us/user/shian7) at 2009-05-21

Beechwoods
21-07-2009, 19:29
http://i195.photobucket.com/albums/z311/magusoberon/cats%20and%20guns/kittygun3a.jpg

The Grand Wazoo
21-07-2009, 19:46
This dude is one bad-ass mutha..................


...................but this is what happens to gangsta-moggies:



http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/2470/stupidcatp.jpg

Marco
21-07-2009, 22:35
http://img24.imageshack.us/img24/2120/madcat4.png (http://img24.imageshack.us/i/madcat4.png/)

That appeals to my daft nut! :lolsign:

Marco.

Spectral Morn
21-07-2009, 23:18
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:




Regards D S D L

Leaves room falling about laughing............................:lol:

REM
22-07-2009, 07:44
Billions are invested in R&D to bring S.O.T.A. computer technology to the masses, and this is what they do with it.

:lolsign:

507

:lol:

Marco
22-07-2009, 07:51
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... :lolsign:

That's a belter!!

Get yer image bigger though, ya dafty :eyebrows:

Marco.

jandl100
22-07-2009, 14:31
Give a cat a pill? No problem with one of these ...

http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii114/jandl100/DSCF4887.jpg

Note: all loaded up for when Lara (with the terminal heart condition) turns up. She needs 3 pills a day to stay alive. Here she is with a Quad. :)

http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii114/jandl100/QuadsLarry1.jpg

and a Krell ....

http://i262.photobucket.com/albums/ii114/jandl100/QuadKrellLarry.jpg

Alex_UK
15-08-2009, 21:41
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3258/2808815696_c5bd91c60e_o.jpg

DSJR
15-08-2009, 22:26
Brilliant! keep 'em coming. The first post is an oldie around the emails but SOOOO true!!

That "applicator" for pills is a goodie we found.

The BEST way to give a cat a pill is to get someone else to do it. they (the cats) don't hate you afterwards.... :D

trailer
15-08-2009, 23:12
I wish someone could give them a pill that would make them stay out of my sodding garden.

Mike
15-08-2009, 23:16
Lion shit!... that's what you need! :exactly:

So, you think I'm joking, eh? :eyebrows:

Check this out... http://www.amazon.co.uk/Silent-Roar-Cat-Deterrant-Pellets/dp/B001DYLXGM

Alex_UK
15-08-2009, 23:21
I wish someone could give them a pill that would make them stay out of my sodding garden.

.22 pellets are available, which do what they say on the tin, but I suspect the RSPCA (and most of this forum) would have something to say about that!

Apparently, if you pee in the garden yourself that will keep them away (at least that's what I told the magistrate I was up to...!)

Barry
16-08-2009, 00:33
.22 pellets are available, which do what they say on the tin, but I suspect the RSPCA (and most of this forum) would have something to say about that!

Apparently, if you pee in the garden yourself that will keep them away (at least that's what I told the magistrate I was up to...!)

Orange peel is supposed to work, as is empty plastic soft drinks bottles refilled with water (the glare discourages them). I haven't tried either, so cannot attest to their efficacy.

REM
16-08-2009, 10:04
You could try getting a python CLICK HERE (http://www.thisisbristol.co.uk/news/Bristol-snake-owner-claims-cat-stalked-python/article-1253435-detail/article.html)

Cheers:cool: