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View Full Version : CHRISTMAS COMPETITION - Can You Use Wazoo's Spare Blues?



The Grand Wazoo
22-12-2013, 13:38
The prize is almost worthless!
But it's an enjoyable album of blues music, potentially available to anyone who feels like making me laugh.

I've been having a bit of a sort out of CDs recently and have gathered a few that I have duplicates of, or bought to investigate some performer/band or other. I've given most of them away to friends and family, a few have been promised to AoS'ers who I thought might make better use of them than me. There are a few loose ends though and one of them is an album which I have two copies of.

Jonny Lang - 'Wander This World'

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/61oaQlSIuOL.jpg

There's no artwork with it but it's a kosher commercial release.

If you want it, you have to work a little for it.

Here's what you have to do:
I want you to tell me why you have the blues and the CD will go to the person who has 'em the worst!


The blues ain’t nothin’ but a low down shakin’ chill
Well now, if you ain’t had them boy, then I hope you never will

I need to know just how miserable you are, and how mean yer cheatin' woman has been.
If you woked up this mornin' and all yer shrimps was dead and gone and if some other men's has bin fishin' in yer pond, then I need to know about it!
Did you get weak for no-good women?
Maybe your dog got stones in his pass-way and he died on stormy Monday?


The Rules

Pull up a chair on the porch of AoS's virtual blues-shack and provide us with a minimum of five lines of miserable blues lyrics - the one that makes me laugh the most gets the prize.
All entries must begin with the words "Well, I woke up this mornin'...."
Extra kudos for the member with the best bluesman name (a moniker based on any type of fruit / disability combo will always work well!)
Images are optional



http://imageshack.us/a/img34/6919/rzt8.jpg

Gordon Steadman
22-12-2013, 13:52
By Gus the wuss.


When I woked up this morning, the frost was on the ground,
the chickens they was squawking and the ducks was on the pond
The cats were nagging for their food and the wife was for her tea
By the time I’d sorted them all out there was no time left for me
To get my croissants from the baker and brew a decent cup
of coffee. When the wife saw my face she said “hey what’s up?”


“I’m down”, I said, “I’m pooped and I’ve given you my all
I had enough of doing stuff and the tasks begin to pall.”


I need some time to switch the radio on and listen to some news
But when I did I found that what I read gave me the bluest case of blues!

With apologies to anyone that cares about music and the English language...........or anything really..........I just don't care any more - sob.

The Grand Wazoo
22-12-2013, 13:59
An excellent start Gordon.
You must truly be down and out if you have a radio that you have to read the news from!

Macca
22-12-2013, 14:20
'I woke up this mornin'
My head is in a cloud
My neighbour's playin' Abba
Way too fuckin' loud
The tobacco tin is empty
The whisky bottle's dry
I need to sort my life out
But I'm way too blue to try'

By

'Damaged Pineapple McCall'

Tim
22-12-2013, 14:49
'I woke up this mornin'
My head is in a cloud
My neighbour's playin' Abba
Way too fuckin' loud
The tobacco tin is empty
The whisky bottle's dry
I need to sort my life out
But I'm way too blue to try'

:clapclapclap:

Now that's going to be tough to beat.

Gordon Steadman
22-12-2013, 14:57
An excellent start Gordon.
You must truly be down and out if you have a radio that you have to read the news from!

I know I know, but I was too depressed to check out the words:( It was just a stream of unconciousness sort of thing.

sparrow
22-12-2013, 15:30
Come over to my house and have a look at me hi fi and then music collection..I'm sure you wouldn't be able to control yerslef..:ner:

The Grand Wazoo
22-12-2013, 15:53
I need to sort my life out
But I'm way too blue to try'

It's a dirty, low-down rotten shame Martin. You should've stayed in bed mate!

Macca
22-12-2013, 16:39
It's a dirty, low-down rotten shame Martin. You should've stayed in bed mate!

Ya gotta pay your dues if you wanna sing the blues...

PaulStewart
25-12-2013, 19:34
I wish I could claim this as my own, but it's by Martin Mull, supposedly handed down by his Grandfather Blind Lemon Pledge, I give you the Middle Class Blues.....

I woke up this afternoon
I saw both cars were gone
Yeah! I woke up this afternoon
I saw both cars were gone
I felt so lowdown deep inside
I threw my drink, 
I threw my drink
yeah! I threw my drink
Across the lawn

Here's my best effort

I woke up this mornin'
I was in a prison cage
Yeah! I woke up this mornin'
I was in a prison cage
'cos my son done took my hifi
And he threw an illegal rave

The sheriff he came round
said yo' boy been ravin' again
The sheriff he came round
said yo' boy been ravin' again
The judge told you to keep him quiet
or it would be the slammer again

Well I got the blues in this prison cell
Well I got the blues and it makes me feel like hell
'cos the warden gave me an iPod
with Susan Boyle, bieber and Adele

Macca
25-12-2013, 21:20
Lol. Blind lemon pledge

Best name so far