Noisy Food

[Puffin]

Bit left field but do you find noisy food annoying?

Things like Japanese Rice Crackers, Crunchy Apples, Boiled Sweets etc. It drives me a bit mad hearing people eat these foods. Her indoors was crunching Rice Crackers at the weekend and it sounded like she was devouring some old bones, Tonight it was a very crisp apple with the same noise level being emitted. Should I see a psychiatrist:mental:

[Ali Tait]

Only at the cinema!

[Andrei]

Dear Rob from Surrey

This malaise afflicts many. There are several possible solutions.
● Place a sign at your front door: 'Guests must eat with their mouth closed' or 'Quarantine area: Mad Husband Disease'
● Purchase 'er indoors a holiday to New Caledonia (opps I forgot to get a return ticket)
● Play Diana Krall music - this always works but the cure may be worse than the disease
● Keeps loads of English Wine Gums handy
Whatever you do don't see a shrink. They are all nutters as you can tell from the fact they have beards and wear pajamas to bed. You will get some daft advice like 'Go and get a job in a canning factory so when you get home you will have relative peace' when what you really want is a piece of your relative.

Best Wishes from Aunt Agatha

[cloth-ears]

Only at the cinema!

I got thrown out of a cinema once for taking my own food in, bloody cheek. My argument was that their prices were totally OTT. Their argument was that the smoke from my BBQ was getting in the eyes of the other people watching the film. Just can’t win sometimes.

[Marco]

Bit left field but do you find noisy food annoying?

Things like Japanese Rice Crackers, Crunchy Apples, Boiled Sweets etc. It drives me a bit mad hearing people eat these foods. Her indoors was crunching Rice Crackers at the weekend and it sounded like she was devouring some old bones, Tonight it was a very crisp apple with the same noise level being emitted. Should I see a psychiatrist:mental:

It would stop if you shot her.

Marco.

[twickers]

I got thrown out of a cinema once for taking my own food in, bloody cheek. My argument was that their prices were totally OTT. Their argument was that the smoke from my BBQ was getting in the eyes of the other people watching the film. Just can’t win sometimes.

That was probably due to the fire risk, more than the smoke. The smoke could have added a nice atmosphere, especially if it was a ' moody ' film.

[Marco]

Never mind smoke, for or a hoot, drop a total minger of a fart, leaving a pungent 'mustard cloud' hanging in the air, and while everyone gags, watch them looking around frantically to see who to blame! :D

Marco.

[walpurgis]

I was going to add a post to this thread, but what on earth can I say to follow Marco's contribution? :eyebrows:

[cloth-ears]

Never mind smoke, for or a hoot, drop a total minger of a fart, leaving a pungent 'mustard cloud' hanging in the air, and while everyone gags, watch them looking around frantically to see who to blame! :D

Marco.

It would have to be a film like The Sound of Music.

[Puffin]

I got thrown out of a cinema once for taking my own food in, bloody cheek. My argument was that their prices were totally OTT. Their argument was that the smoke from my BBQ was getting in the eyes of the other people watching the film. Just can’t win sometimes.

This is the funniest thing I have seen in ages, probably because I rarely ever go to the cinema, but was there on Sat.

[Puffin]

It would stop if you shot her.

Marco.

Nah...I've tried that:rolleyes:

[twickers]

Bit left field but do you find noisy food annoying?

Things like Japanese Rice Crackers, Crunchy Apples, Boiled Sweets etc. It drives me a bit mad hearing people eat these foods. Her indoors was crunching Rice Crackers at the weekend and it sounded like she was devouring some old bones, Tonight it was a very crisp apple with the same noise level being emitted. Should I see a psychiatrist:mental:

If the misses is devouring my bone, I never complain. No matter how much noise she makes.:eyebrows:

[Puffin]

Dear Rob from Surrey

This malaise afflicts many. There are several possible solutions.
● Place a sign at your front door: 'Guests must eat with their mouth closed' or 'Quarantine area: Mad Husband Disease'
● Purchase 'er indoors a holiday to New Caledonia (opps I forgot to get a return ticket)
● Play Diana Krall music - this always works but the cure may be worse than the disease
● Keeps loads of English Wine Gums handy
Whatever you do don't see a shrink. They are all nutters as you can tell from the fact they have beards and wear pajamas to bed. You will get some daft advice like 'Go and get a job in a canning factory so when you get home you will have relative peace' when what you really want is a piece of your relative.

Best Wishes from Aunt Agatha

Brilliant! LOL

[Ninanina]

If the misses is devouring my bone, I never complain. No matter how much noise she makes.:eyebrows:

Yr sooo funny... he he he ...

[Ninanina]

If you want the MOST crunchy thing ever, and the loudest to eat try these:

http://krisprolls.com/

They are also very tasty indeed, just very very noisy....!!!!

[walpurgis]

A few sticks of celery and a pack of french toast should do the job!

[cloth-ears]

This is the funniest thing I have seen in ages, probably because I rarely ever go to the cinema, but was there on Sat.

I wish I could say it was mine but it’s one of Steven Wright’s. He always makes me laugh :lol:

[Puffin]

I wish I could say it was mine but it’s one of Steven Wright’s. He always makes me laugh :lol:

I loved his "I woke up this morning to find that someone had entered my apartment, stolen all the furniture and replaced it with exact replica's"

[pjdowns]

Bit left field but do you find noisy food annoying?

Things like Japanese Rice Crackers, Crunchy Apples, Boiled Sweets etc. It drives me a bit mad hearing people eat these foods. Her indoors was crunching Rice Crackers at the weekend and it sounded like she was devouring some old bones, Tonight it was a very crisp apple with the same noise level being emitted. Should I see a psychiatrist:mental:

This is something I wholeheartedly agree with you on Rob... noisy food (and noisy eaters in general) are extremely annoying :lol:

[cloth-ears]

I loved his "I woke up this morning to find that someone had entered my apartment, stolen all the furniture and replaced it with exact replica's"

Yes, and when I told my friend he said “who are you”. The man's a genius