News You Wouldn't Want to Hear!

[walpurgis]

What's the last thing you'd want to hear in the news?

Here's a few to get you started:


'Hi-Fi discredited by church as "gratuitous waste of time and energy".'

'Emma Watson, secret mistress of David Miliband'

'Proof, Santa Claus really exists'

'Women really are always right'

[pjdowns]

'Women really are always right'

For me Geoff, this is easily a front-runner.... scary thought, terrifying in fact!!!! :stalks: :eek: :confused: :unfair: :brickwall:

[Roy S]

Death penalty for wanking

[Stubies]

'Women really are always right'

+1
I have to go with Paul on this one!

[walpurgis]

Death penalty for wanking

Do you suspect you may be in danger Roy? :)

[Roy S]

Do you suspect you may be in danger Roy? :)

I'd be well hung

[pjdowns]

First time ever ay Roy ;) :lol:

[Stubies]

First time ever ay Roy ;) :lol:

Hmmm

Paul, given your post and my second- maybe we would reconsider?!

:lol:

[losenotaminute]

'EU to ban crispy duck with pancakes' would represent the end of civilisation as I know it.

[walpurgis]

'Pensions Secretary presses for legalised assisted suicide for over 65's. "Not to be confused with euthanasia" he stated. This earned huge applause from the Tory back benches.'

[Andrei]

Listening to vinyl LPs makes women frigid.

[pjdowns]

Hmmm

Paul, given your post and my second- maybe we would reconsider?!

:lol:

:rfl:

[Marco]

All women in the world unite in agreement that "Size does matter!"

:eek:

Marco.

[loo]

Government undervalue Royal Mail so all their share buying friends can make a fortune.
oops

[Effem]

Keith Lemon elected as Prime Minister.

[walpurgis]

Keith Lemon elected as Prime Minister.

That's nearly as bad as Ed Miliband as Prime Minister! :)

[pjdowns]

That's nearly as bad as David Miliband as Prime Minister! :)


Or David Cameron... Damn he's already in :doh:

[walpurgis]

Keith Lemon elected as Prime Minister.

I'm afraid Keith Lemon is one of those people I categorise as 'somebody who needs a good punch'! Sorry, can't help it.

The aforementioned Miliband is another (is he actually old enough to shave yet?).

Anybody remember (the seemingly vanished) Timmy Mallet? He used to drive me up the wall and I harboured very bad feelings towards him. Good job I never met him! :eyebrows:


Actually, I reckon 'people who need a good punch' would make an amusing thread for Abstract Chat, I may just start one as long as it's not pushing the boundaries too far.

[loo]

I'm afraid Keith Lemon is one of those people I categorise as 'somebody who needs a good punch'! Sorry, can't help it.
Agreed on the Keith Lemon thing cant stand him , but Francis portrayal of Jacko has to be the best impersonation ever "Cha'mone mother fucker!",

[pjdowns]

I'm afraid Keith Lemon is one of those people I categorise as 'somebody who needs a good punch'! Sorry, can't help it.

The aforementioned Miliband is another (is he actually old enough to shave yet?).

Anybody remember (the seemingly vanished) Timmy Mallet? He used to drive me up the wall and I harboured very bad feelings towards him. Good job I never met him! :eyebrows:


Actually, I reckon 'people who need a good punch' would make an amusing thread for Abstract Chat, I may just start one as long as it's not pushing the boundaries too far.

LOL I like him :doh:

[Marco]

LOL I like him :doh:


...drowning in a steaming hot vat full of his own pish.

Marco.

[Rare Bird]

Im sure i could think of a few funny ones :eyebrows:

[Ninanina]

I wouldn't want to hear that my father has had a heart attack, which unfortunately he just has .... :(

[pjdowns]

I wouldn't want to hear that my father has had a heart attack, which unfortunately he just has .... :(

Oh pooh, hope he's ok?

[pjdowns]

...drowning in a steaming hot vat full of his own pish.

Marco.

Not a fan ay Marco :lol:

[walpurgis]

I wouldn't want to hear that my father has had a heart attack, which unfortunately he just has .... :(

Sorry to hear that Bev. Hope he recovers well!

[keiths]

Oh dear - so sorry to hear that Bev. Here's to a speedy recovery.

[Ninanina]

Thanks to all for your lovely comments

Unfortunately dad's had loads done to him over the last year or so; he's had prostrate cancer, bowel cancer, with ops associated with both, including a colostomy, and just a couple of weeks ago another op for a type of hernia associated with the colostomy

Even though dad's 82 you would never know it, he still drives and fly's model aircraft etc etc, but I think he probably did a bit too much too soon after the last op and it wouldn't surprise me if that didn't have something to do with the heart attack

Also, typical in my experience of men, he's had bad chest pains for about a week and only when it really started hurting badly did he say anything to mum... he's a nightmare !!

Anyway it seems he's on the mend and may, if everything goes ok, be out of hospital tomorrow or Monday, he's a tough cookie !! :):)

[walpurgis]

Anyway it seems he's on the mend and may, if everything goes ok, be out of hospital tomorrow or Monday, he's a tough cookie !! :):)

Good show. Tell him I wish him the best!

[Ninanina]

Thanks so much Geoff....

[pjdowns]

Great news Bev hope he is feeling himself again soon :)

[Ninanina]

Great news Bev hope he is feeling himself again soon :)

Thanks Paul, knowing my dad he'll be out and about pretty soon, as long as he doesn't over do it again...

[Marco]

All the best to your dad, Bev, and I hope that he continues to make a full recovery.

Situations like that can often give everyone in the family a wake-up call, so spoil him and treasure the time that you have together, as those memories will later become precious :)

Take care.

Marco.

[Marco]

Not a fan ay Marco :lol:

Was it that obvious? :eyebrows:

Marco.

[pjdowns]

Was it that obvious? :eyebrows:

Marco.

Not sure but I'm certainly getting that impression :lol:

[synsei]

I wouldn't want to hear that my father has had a heart attack, which unfortunately he just has .... :(

Oh Bev I am so sorry about your Dad however I'm glad to hear he's on the mend though. Keep your chin up hun and please wish him all the best from myself and Jo ;)

[Ninanina]

Oh Bev I am so sorry about your Dad however I'm glad to hear he's on the mend though. Keep your chin up hun and please wish him all the best from myself and Jo ;)

All the best to your dad, Bev, and I hope that he continues to make a full recovery.

Situations like that can often give everyone in the family a wake-up call, so spoil him and treasure the time that you have together, as those memories will later become precious :)

Take care.

Marco.

You are all so right.....

My dad and I are so alike.... he kind of introduced me to aircraft when I was a wee girly, he worked for De Havilland as a quality control specialist and we had free entrance to all the Hatfield yearly air displays, they were so good in those days :D

It would seem as though he in fact didn't have a heart attack but a severe form of angina, which is still not good, as I understand, but slightly better than having full blown heart attack

However he seems to be on the mend; like I said he is such a tough cookie as he really has been in the wars recently

Your kind thoughts are much appreciated .... thanks so much

;)

[Effem]

I had a heart attack back on new years eve 2 years ago and I am still here annoying the heck out of the world :lol:

A stent in the right place and a couple of tablets a day means I can lead a pretty much normal life, but mountain climbing and bungee jumping have been put on hold somewhat since :eyebrows:

Hope the old fella gets well soon!

[pjdowns]

Glad he's on the mend Bev and also glad you doing ok Frank, it'd be a strange place if you weren't here :)