View Full Version : Speaker Cable - Make Me Laugh
Two 3M lengths of Cable Talk Concert 2 speaker cable FREE OF CHARGE - YOU PAY THE P&P:D (these are unterminated lengths)
However after a couple of recent sales where the recipients of the items in question couldn't be arsed to either damn me with feint praise or leave some positive feedback......so just to restore my faith in human nature and give two fingers to rude and ungrateful people, all I ask is that you make me laugh...you know LOL..... SO LOUD YOU WILL HEAR ME. I will give you until 7pm next Weds:lol:
Do you mean along the lines of,
' I haven't heard from my mate Frodo Baggins for a while. I'll have to give him a ring '
:doh:
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu
i wouldn't trying those Rob.
i'll promise to big you up with faint praise :)
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
another goodie :)
Boris Island
For real? :D
Hi Rob,
In an effort to make you laugh, I'll happily pay your asking price :lol: . Would they 'go well' with my Mission 774 speakers?
I'm very polite and well brought up so you can count on an effusive post of thanks ;) .
TIA (:lol:) ,
Dave.
this Pam Ann spoof is quite funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FEBgsraYZ3w
Audio Al
01-06-2013, 20:30
Our government
:rfl:
I'm nearly splitting my sides now :lol:
scotty67
01-06-2013, 20:41
What did the strawberry say to the other strawberry - how do we get out of this jam?!
I'll get my coat then.
I'm told I don't have a sense of humour, so all I'll say to Dave K is that the Concert 2 is an excellent heavy-duty green-hosepipe of a cable which is demonstrably better than typical fig-8 or dumbell types when the likes of PMC transmission lines are tacked on the end of it (or other 'porty' speakers). Dynamic range seems greater too than lesser wires too and there's NO 'hash' in the treble that QED SA lovers call "deeeeetail!"
http://i40.tinypic.com/dq6jp4.jpg
this always cracks me up, alan partridge does Abba medley
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5g2Jksk8WVE
Ninanina
01-06-2013, 21:47
Hitler bunker end of the world parody:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0LyDcLMhlo
I'm not after the cables, just thought it might make someone giggle.. :lol:
RELIGIOUS GOLF
The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel.
"Your Holiness", said one of his Cardinals, Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."
The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand.
"Don't we have a Cardinal to represent me?" he asked.
"None that plays very well," a Cardinal replied. "But," he added,"there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him an honorary Cardinal, then ask him to play Mr. Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition, to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match."
Everyone agreed it was a good idea.
The call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play.
The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result. I have some good news and some bad news, your Holiness, " said the golfer.
"Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the Pope.
"Well, your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I've played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must have been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous. "
"There's bad news?", the Pope asked.
"Yes," Nicklaus sighed. "I lost to Rabbi Tiger Woods by three strokes."
Cheers,
Dave.
Ninanina
01-06-2013, 22:26
Always worth a giggle....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWr0E_Qb39A
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
But his daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nantucket.
But he followed the pair to Pawtucket,
The man and the girl with the bucket;
And he said to the man,
He was welcome to Nan,
But as for the bucket, Pawtucket.
Running away with the bucket
Dad jumped on his rocket
the force from the blast
shoved his dick up his ass,
and his balls were found in his pocket.
:sorry:
There is a slightly ruder verse - but i just cant bring myself to post it...
This always makes me chuckle :-
"What do you say to a man with no arms or legs?"
"Got the time on yer cock?"
OR
She was only a perfumier's daughter, but she couldn't leave the eau de cologne.
OR
She was only a fishmonger's daughter, but she'd lie on the slab and shout fillet.
She was only a printer's daughter but she wasn't my type...
She was only the fishmongers daughter, but
She had a wet plaice for me :eek::eek::lol:
She was only the fishmongers daughter, but
She had a wet plaice for me :eek::eek::lol:
Mmmm:eyebrows:nice
seoirse2002
02-06-2013, 08:50
This always makes me chuckle :-
"What do you say to a man with no arms or legs?"
"Got the time on yer cock?"
OR
She was only a perfumier's daughter, but she couldn't leave the eau de cologne.
OR
She was only a fishmonger's daughter, but she'd lie on the slab and shout fillet.
She was only a carpenters daughter,but she was very fond of the wood
vinylspinner
02-06-2013, 09:20
I went out with a welders daughter for a short time, bug ugly but she did have acetylene legs.
* "knock Knock.."
Who's there?
* "Interrupting Cow"
Interrupting cow wh...
* MMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
...and the Captain said to me,
" Blow your nose on me, I'm the ships Anchor Chief"
Boom Boom.
gariusmacus
02-06-2013, 10:44
what do you call a woman who's had her piles seen to ?
Anita Harris
A man was walking his dog through the graveyard when he saw another man crouching behind a gravestone. "Morning" he said. "No, just having a shit", he replied.
Audio Al
02-06-2013, 11:12
what do you call a woman who's had her piles seen to ?
Anita Harris
Have you herd about the Irish man who though- Anita Harris was a bum transplant
i can't stand 'she was only jokes'
she was only a gardener's daughter but she loved to trim her massive f**king bush, etc, etc, ad nauseam :)
she was only a politicians daughter but she knew how to screw the country
DAVEDWACK
02-06-2013, 11:28
So there's 2 budgies sat on a perch, one says to the other "Can you smell fish?"
Cheers.....Dave
Audio Al
02-06-2013, 11:30
What do you call a deer with no eyes ?
( No idea )
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs ?
( Still No idea )
What do you call a deer with no eyes ?
( No idea )
What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs ?
( Still No idea )
What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no cock?
(Still no fucking idea...) :eyebrows:
Two cannibals approach a building site looking for work, and they approach the site foreman.
"Can I get some work here"
Foreman says "yes, but only one job going have to tell your mate he's out of luck"
"Oh that's not my mate, that's my lunch"
Hear about the guy with 5 cocks?
His pants fit him like a glove...
Another two cannibals sitting eating outside a circus tent..
One turns to the other and says "Does this clown taste funny to you"?
Covenant
02-06-2013, 21:08
Two flies on a dog crap and one breaks wind. The other turns to him and says " Do you mind-I'm having my dinner".
icehockeyboy
04-06-2013, 10:16
How do you stop a woman giving you a bl*w job?
Marry her.
What do you call the food that puts women off sex?
Wedding cake.
gariusmacus
04-06-2013, 10:42
Two fish in a tank - one says to the other "Can you drive this thing?"
icehockeyboy
04-06-2013, 12:33
I went to a karaoke bar the other day, I was very upset to find they didn't do 70's music.
At first I was afraid, I was petrified........
falcoron
04-06-2013, 16:16
went for a check up the other day and all was going great til he put his index finger right up my rectum.............:0
it was really uncomfortable and embaressing so much so im gonna change my dentist .tish boom!
lordmortlock
04-06-2013, 16:32
I'm thinking of moving house, so I went to see a place with period features.
She hates it when call her that.
Guys walks into a bar ;)
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink, and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all over the place, eating everything behind the bar. Then the monkey jumps on to the pool table and swallows a billiard ball.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Your monkey just ate the cue ball off my pool table -- whole!"
"Sorry," replied the guy. "He eats everything in sight, the little bastard. I'll pay for everything."
The man finishes his drink, pays and leaves.
Two weeks later, he's in the bar with his pet monkey, again. He orders a drink, and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?" he asks.
"Yeah," replies the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he swallowed that cue ball, he measures stuff first."
:lol::lol::doh:
Clare Valley vintners in South Australia, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as ......
PI'NO MORE
Made me laugh, anyway :lol:
Dave.
Me too!
Clare Valley vintners in South Australia, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as ......
PI'NO MORE
Made me laugh, anyway :lol:
Dave.
gariusmacus
04-06-2013, 17:46
Due to the current economic crisis, Greece is cancelling all production of humus and Taramasalata.
It's a double dip recession :doh:
You're all doing sterling work on this. It's going to be a hard call. I might have to resort to names in a hat.....I will ask the cat to dip her paw in.
vinylspinner
04-06-2013, 20:51
Hi Rob,
Didn't think there were any claws in this contract!
two tramps looking at suits in burtons shop window
one says 'thats a nice suit', the other says 'no, that the one i'd get.
a passing cyclops kicked his head in !!!!!
gariusmacus
04-06-2013, 21:50
did you hear about the mexican firewoman who gave birth to twin boys ?
she called them Hosea
and Hose-b
gariusmacus
04-06-2013, 21:53
when I worked in the circus the dwarf married the bearded Lady, after a while she fell pregnant. I asked them what they wanted,
They said they was so pleased to be having a child they didn't mind if it was a boy or a girl.........................So long as it fitted in the cannon !
gariusmacus
04-06-2013, 22:04
And finally a hot of the press visual one
http://i1310.photobucket.com/albums/s654/Gary_McDonald/6957_208955339253694_166701901_n_zps590e9501.jpg
There is a young(??) man lives in Surrey,
Who, it seems, is not in a Hurry,
To give away cable
For a jocular fable,
As long as it is really, really funny.
And the winner is................................................ .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .......................Scotty 67:clapclapclap: Hermes economy delivery is £3.99 and a jiffy bag is £1.40. PM me with your details and i'll let you have my PayPal address.
well done scotty,
but what was the winning joke again rob?
There was no winner apart from the first name out of the hat!
If I don't hear from scotty67 then I will pull another name out of the hat. How long should I give him?
icehockeyboy
06-06-2013, 17:28
If I don't hear from scotty67 then I will pull another name out of the hat. How long should I give him?
10 seconds......
How many audiophiles does it take to change a lightbulb? None because they've been changed already.
I have just finished inserting the red banana plugs on my speaker cables into the black speaker sockets on my amp and vice versa. Don't worry though, it's just a phase I'm going through :)
The Grand Wazoo
06-06-2013, 17:52
Banana split?
vinylspinner
06-06-2013, 17:53
Hi Dave,
Not been listening to 10cc have you?
Nigel
Hi Dave,
Not been listening to 10cc have you?
Nigel
As it happens.... :D
Yes late, sure someone else has made the same joke too!
scotty67
06-06-2013, 19:32
There was no winner apart from the first name out of the hat!
Well, what a cheek - and I thought my joke was the funniest!
scotty67
18-06-2013, 11:02
Cables now arrived, many thanks Rob.;)
Cables now arrived, many thanks Rob.;)
Yea, a bit of a saga to say the least. Hermes was a god of transitions and boundaries. He was QUICK and CUNNING, and moved freely between the worlds of the mortal and divine, as emissary and messenger of the gods.
Well it's a shame that Hermes the couriers were not "messengers of the gods" and failed to collect the parcel on 3 separate occasions. Cunning?....well if losing business comes under this category then yes, I suppose they are:D
Hope it was worth it. If you don't like it you could always strip out the cables and use it as hose-pipe:lol:
Rob.
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