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MikeMusic
14-03-2013, 13:21
We have this nice job to scan at work, well over 100,000 sheets of paper from Case Report forms which ironically we also print ! This is for a different department though

Fairly large job although we have produced much bigger

We start scanning the first volume, American Letter size, what we call AQ, not our normal A4
Odd result - it automatically reduces it and brings it down the page and image slightly off the bottom (!)
This won’t do for sure

Check all the settings and fiddle as much as we can. No luck - baffled this has never happened before

Ring software support. Helpful guy who gives a few things to try. No luck. Sounds like we need a mender

Ring technical to get an engineer or analyst in
“You don’t have support for that machine”
- Ah Xerox and their need to live in Kafka novels
Well we do, paying around £40,000 a year and you maintain it
“You must have discontinued support, we can’t send an engineer”

We email and ring every contact we have in Xerox as we have had this sort of maze to wind through before
Suggestion : Pay for an ad hoc engineer visit and claim it back – if you can prove you have a support agreement !
Er, no we’re not going to do that
Speak again to software support who again are helpful and say they shouldn’t be talking to us.
He also says if we have that level of software we *must* have official support. Still no help though
An engineer we know rings us
“I’m not supposed to but ’ll come in and have a look”
He arrives and is also baffled, but eventually finds that we have a ‘ski’ fitted. This masks holes in the paper so you don’t get black dots where the holes are. Makes for a tidy job
When we first got this scanner the ski was perfect and we’ve had it for years now
Except
The ski now has a fight with the latest software update
He looks further and finds that the settings aren’t 100% perfect and it could do with a clean while he’s in there.
Put’s it back together.

It works !

As he’s leaving he says
“I wasn’t here”

We have another dialogue with our new sales guy, yet another new one
"Last invoice I have for you is dated 2010" - eh ?!
I find some recent invoices, scan and send over
Ah yes we exist at last and the recommendation........
"the serial numbers that you should quote for service on the digipath in future should be either of those on the invoice that you have sent to me and no others we are suffering here from a proliferation of serial no’s"

Ah poor Xerox all those numbers are just too much

Macca
14-03-2013, 13:28
lol - You think Xerox are bad try dealing with General Motors Corporation. No--one does labyrinthine like the big companies from septic land - (except maybe the UK government).

MikeMusic
14-03-2013, 13:41
lol - You think Xerox are bad try dealing with General Motors Corporation. No--one does labyrinthine like the big companies from septic land - (except maybe the UK government).

I used to work at (Rank) Xerox and thought they must be the worst company in the world.
Then I got more experience and found that, all in all they weren't so bad after all. Big orgs can be stunningly Kafkaesque in their dealings.
I can imagine GM being from a different planet

walpurgis
14-03-2013, 17:19
I used to work at (Rank) Xerox and thought they must be the worst company in the world.
Then I got more experience and found that, all in all they weren't so bad after all. Big orgs can be stunningly Kafkaesque in their dealings.
I can imagine GM being from a different planet

I had involvement with Haliburton/Brown & Root. The term 'Gangsters' is what springs to my mind.

Yank companies? Keep well clear! Even your own personal thoughts can become their 'intellectual property'.

Say for instance, even if you no longer work for them, but you have a bright idea that could turn a profit. You risk being pursued for all or part of the rights to it, if it can even remotely be suggested that your idea could have been inspired by the work you did with them or your involvement with them. They are devious, scheming bastards!

The Grand Wazoo
14-03-2013, 20:55
They are devious, scheming bastards!

So who's idea was that? Theirs surely!

MikeMusic
14-03-2013, 21:27
I had involvement with Haliburton/Brown & Root. The term 'Gangsters' is what springs to my mind.

Seem to remember some less than flattering words about them, possibly Private Eye